The Virtues of Solitude – 3. Awareness

If you have ever found your life feeling plastic and hollow, you are most a victim of lifeless living, a plague so widespread it would be called a worldwide disease… if only we were aware of it.  The problem is, we aren’t.  In fact, we’re not aware of many things these days.  Before we know it our hours, days, weeks and years pass by. We feel, but our lives are unfeeling.  We see, but we walk around blindly, and we hear, but we are deaf to the amazing vibrancy and intensity of life.  In most cases, we walk around like the living dead, dressed up as spiritless mannequins living life in a vacuum of emptiness. Why do we fall so easily in to the trap of empty living? The answer is that we aren’t aware.  In other words, we have no focused  attention of what is going on inside and outside of ourselves.

Awareness is a rich reward of practicing solitude.  Below we’ll explore why.

A Crime Against Humanity?

Why?  Why do we carry such little awareness through our days?  Why do we struggle so much to practice awareness in our daily lives?  Some people say that there is far too much stimulation and busyness in our daily lives.  Some say that  we fear the awareness that comes with solitude.  In it we see ourselves for who we truly are, and what our lives have become.  Who would want that?  Who would prefer reality over a cut off and comfortable dream?  Perhaps we like to run from truth, perhaps we prefer safety and comfort?  Or perhaps we have never known that we are awake, yet constantly dreaming?  We were never taught awareness and mindfulness by our parents, education or society. They were never even aware that it needed to be talked about, or practiced in the first place!  Instead we were fed information about maths, science, art and a whole bunch of intellectual rubbish which would never help us grow mentally, emotionally and spiritually.  We were never taught what awareness was, or how it could be practiced, or how it could transform our lives into constant states of joy, appreciation and acceptance. We were deprived of the very thing we needed to live life alive. I rather think this is the reason why we lack awareness to this present day.

Hearing But Not Listening.

From Eckhart Tolle, Osho to Alan Watts and Buddha, awareness has been shown to be the key to living wholly and fully.  If you were to stop and think you would realize that most of us have forgotten how to simply be.  We don’t know how to do the simplest, yet most difficult thing in existence: to watch and listen right now, in complete awareness of this moment.  In solitude, awareness provides us the space to be still, to listen instead of superficially hear.  It even allows us to overcome pain.

3 Gifts of Awareness.

Awareness allows us to:

1) Awareness allows us to notice and cherish the small miracles in nature.  A gnat in a spiders web, the color of Autumn leaves, the smell of a storm approaching, the glow of the moon on a Winter’s night.  There are an infinite number of small, seemingly irrelevant things we appreciate when we become aware of our surroundings. Usually we miss them in our daily routines, and therefore miss the gift of perceiving life as it happens around us.  Awareness allows us to develop a high level of sensitivity to our surroundings and thus experience more wonder, fascination and joy.

2)   Awareness allows us to overcome pain.  This is possibly the greatest aspect of the virtue of awareness.  When we adopt a state of awareness  we are able to develop the ability to “observe” and detach ourselves from our emotions and thoughts.  When we realize that we are not our thoughts or emotions, they are simply things that come and go, we are able to transcend them, and cease suffering from our unhealthy involvement.  Awareness in this case, is essential for first acknowledging what thoughts and emotions we have, and then later, letting them pass.

3)   Awareness allows us to be more objective.  Awareness allows us to be objective by helping us to watch without reacting.  When we react, we impose our own beliefs and ideas on to the situation.  Often times, we forget to see the reality of the situation, causing ourselves to suffer from irrational fears and anxieties.  The objectivity that comes through awareness allows us to develop an inner calm which is impossible to find with mindless reactions.

Awareness is essential for experiencing childlike wonder and inner serenity.  It is an important and extremely beneficial element of solitude, that leads to the next virtue of appreciation.

How to give up victim mentality

At some point in life, everyone has had to do something against their will. Everyone has experienced a difficult time when he felt humiliated or betrayed in some way. Many of us have experienced the loss of a loved one, or even of our own health. Some of us have been victims of violence – at home, in school, or in life…

But while some manage to cope with pain, self-pity, anger and guilt, others come to see themselves as a victim. The victim mentality is formed not only as a result of sustained violence or humiliation, but also by the environment. Often people do not recognize and do not even realize that they are acting the victim.

What is the victim mentality?

Seeing yourself as a victim does not necessarily mean that you have been subjected to physical or psychological abuse. A victim is a person, who believes that something or someone is externally controlling his life. Victims see themselves as impotent, believe that external factors control their life, and see life as a wall of insurmountable circumstances.

They feel compelled to do things against their will. They might complain, but they will still do what they do not want to do, thinking that there is no alternative. It seems like that the whole world is against them. Victims always feel dependent on the mercy of external forces and blame them for everything that happens in their world.

The victim mentality can be seen in all areas of our lives:

Relationships: When victims are led to give up their priorities, aspirations, dreams and desires, they lose self-esteem and self-confidence and give up power. Imagine, for example, a man, who gave up the job of his dreams to please his loved ones. He will feel internal resentment that this happened, and anger at a perceived lack of appreciation and gratitude. Even if he feels offended, humiliated or unappreciated in the relationship, rather than take control of his own life, he will instead complain about how he has been treated. In this way, he assumes the role of a victim.

Everyday life: Even in the most minor situations, some people manage to make themselves a victim of circumstance. For example, you might ask a colleague for a small favor – say, getting you a cup of coffee. He might complain terribly, saying that people are freeloaders and lazy and live off of others and so on… In the end he will do you the favor but continue to complain internally about the “injustice.”

But the reality of the situation is this – he has been asked for a favor, and he has to make a choice. He could say – “I’m sorry, I’m not passing by the coffee machine;” he could say he is too busy or he could even say that he forgot. There are many ways to respond. In this case, however, he chooses to feed the feelings of self-sacrifice – “I’m so pitiful, people are always taking advantage of me… ” – This is a victim mentality.

The person with a victim mentality has a habit of complaining about everything – for example, he/she always has to cook, he/she is forced to work for that terrible boss, traffic is always awful… These complaints are hiding something – that he/she waits and hopes for someone else to fix things. The person doesn’t realize that it was all the result of their own choices.

Often, people with a victim mentality will not say anything directly to the friend, who manipulates them or to the boss, who insults and humiliates them. Instead, they go to someone else to complain and to vent their anger with dramatic tales about their rude and arrogant boss, or their selfish and ungrateful friend. People, who see themselves as a victim of circumstance are always complaining and whining. Rather than taking political action, they vilify political leaders and blame them for the problems in society.

Victims are constantly asking WHY: “Why me? Why are people are so evil? Why won’t the boss give me a raise? Why did he/she leave me?” As they look for answers to these questions, they torment themselves and their resulting self-pity only reinforces their identity as a victim. The question they should ask themselves is: ” Why did this happen now? What can I learn from this situation? How can I avoid this in the future?”

How can you give the victim mentality?

First, it is important to understand why we take on this mindset – what benefits does it bring?

The victim mentality brings :

Attention – when we are in the victim position, we get attention, sympathy and support from people.

When we are a victim, there is no need to take risks or responsibility.

Being a victim gives us an excuse to explain our life circumstances. It is an excuse for the fact that we have not achieved anything. We continue thinking that other people have held us back, they haven’t seen our potential, etc.!

Sometimes being a victim makes you feel part of a community. This community grows out of the very sense that they – the others – are ” bad” and you’re on the “good ” side. Your anger about the injustice of their speeches gives a dramatic and even heroic sense to your suffering.

“Poor Me” gives you a sense identity (albeit false). It makes you feel special. This gives you a passive power that calls people to give you attention and pity.

To be able to part with your victim mentality, you must give up the benefits that it brings.

You should also know that creating a new pattern of thinking and behavior takes time, effort and discomfort. Furthermore, when you first begin to change, you may feel unstable, insecure and vulnerable…

But you have to go through this period if you are to regain power and change your life!

Are you ready to give up the victim mentality and live with confidence?

If the answer is “yes,” you can start taking the first steps now:

1. Release the pain of the past.

To overcome your victim mentality, you must release the pain of all those past experiences, buried deep inside. You need to release negative feelings – fear, guilt, hate, anger, self-pity – because they keep you in captivity and reassert your identity as a victim. Forgive those who have hurt you. As I have written elsewhere, forgiveness does not mean justifying the actions of others. It is a purely internal act of letting go of painful feelings. Only when you forgive will you be free.

2. Take responsibility for your life.

The main thing you need to do to regain power is to take responsibility for your life – for the feelings, thoughts, and reactions you choose to experience. Realize that the complaining, unhappiness, and blaming does not solve your problems. Think about what you personally can do and take action.

3. Remember that you always have a choice – we can always, in every situation, choose how to react. At any moment we can regain power by making the right choice.

4. Change your vocabulary.

Change the words in your vocabulary that make you feel like a victim. For example, instead of ” should,” think ” choose to;” instead of “I hope,” say “I will;” instead of “There’s no way out,” think “I know there’s a way and I will find it;” instead of ” I can’t” say “I will try.”

5. Learn to say “no.”

People who have a victim mentality, often have difficulty saying “no.”

6. Change your attitude.

Change the focus – from what you don’t have or what makes you feel wronged – to what you do have and your strengths. Keep a notebook, listing everything good in your life and practice being grateful about it.

7. Taking small steps outside of your comfort zone.

Begin with just one small step outside your comfort zone, and you will begin to change from a victim into a confident and self-respecting person.

The floor is yours – are you ready to gain more awareness as to when you are slipping into the ‘victim mentality’? What do you usually do when you catch yourself doing it? How do you take responsibility for your own creation? You can share your insights by joining the conversation in the comment section below 

Start a Body Revolution!

Is physical appearance really that important? Is our worth dependent on it?

Of course not. A huge majority of the human population doesn’t look like models which are propagated by the media. If only people which are considered beautiful by society‘s standards were worthy, it would mean that most of us are unworthy and we don’t deserve to exist.

That of course is not true. We all know that people who don’t look anything like Hollywood actors can be people with an incredible personality, people, that no one would call ugly, because their inner beauty outshines their physical imperfections.

In my opinion, the most attractive people are the ones who know that their physical appearance isn’t the most attractive thing about them. They have a certain kind of confidence, they’re usually more fun to hang out with, and they’re the kind of people who are ready to love you for who you are. 

It’s all too easy to buy into the belief that your body is just not good enough. It’s too easy to feel inadequate, like you need to constantly change who you are and what you look like to fit an ideal of beauty.

Let‘s stop this madness! Start a body revolution! Times are changing and self-hate is NOT part of the new paradigm.

That something that we all should realize. Your worth doesn’t depend on your appearance! We are all perfect. As cliché as it sounds, we are. Especially YOU, the reader of this article. Never let anyone tell you otherwise. You are perfect in every single way. We all have qualities that make us unique, we were made for a reason. Remember it! 🙂

I actually wrote a whole guide on how to love your body in the past. There I describe many tips and practices that help you to accept your body completely, no matter what you look like :).

I came to the conclusion that the most beautiful thing a person can wear is a smile :). And happiness is the best make-up!

It’s really true. When we are happy, it doesn’t matter what we look like, we still make a good impression on people. In the moment when we are truly happy, we have no resistance towards what we look like. And when we don’t contain a vibration of resistance toward our appearance, we aren’t a vibrational match to people which would call us ugly. We will be a match to people that compliment us instead. And the next time someone tells you: “You look pretty today!”, you can respond “Thanks, I know” :D.

Why do we hate our bodies?

In the previous article, I was talking about the obsession our society has with physical appearance. It is obvious that it is so. Now I want to go even deeper into this subject .

I think that these days our obsession with physical appearance is worse than ever. More and more 12-year-old girls are going on diets because they believe that your weigh determines your worth. But when all you see is a body type that only two percent of the population has, it’s difficult to remember what’s real and what’s reasonable to expect of yourself and everyone else.

Before social networks, we mostly had images of impossibly perfect celebrities. We would pass these images on billboards, watch them on TV, look at them in magazines, but we weren’t sitting around staring at them for hours every day.

I think that social media hurt because young people are now having their bodies judged online in addition to being judged in person, which causes them to feel trapped. People also say things they’d never say to your face. It’s like Facebook gives them a screen that totally blocks out their emotions…they don’t have to see how I’d react when they say something negative about me. We are relying on judgments from people we’ll never meet to determine our worth.

The standards that society has set on what we call “pretty” are very hard to meet. There are few people who are naturally pretty and all other people could probably be considered the uglier ones.

For years, we’ve acknowledged the fact that no matter how much we try to temper it, girls face immense pressure to look a certain way – from the media, Hollywood, and probably most of all each other – a pressure that many would say starts early and doesn’t ever really end.

Body image is no light subject. There are people who are suffering legitimate illnesses, mental and physical, relating to how they appear. 

I’ve read many stories of girls that want to kill themselves because they hate the way they look. They are in such a deep place of self hate.  I’ve heard of a girl that avoids mirrors and windows because whenever she sees her own face she wants to vomit. She can’t even stand people looking at her. People laugh at her all the time, boys teas her for being ugly. She cries herself to sleep at night and even cuts herself because she hates that she is not pretty.

It hurts me that we as a society are causing this suffering that people experience regarding their physical appearances. 

The question is, what do we do about it?  What is the solution to this problem? What can we do to stop this insane obsession we have with physical appearance?

I have been thinking about this for days and days, trying to come up with a solution. But the more I was focused on the problem, the more upset and angry I was becoming. I was casually walking on the street when I saw a billboard with a model on it. I instantly felt like I want to destroy that billboard for spreading the propaganda of plastic beauty. When I watched a movie, I was so angry at the fact that only beautiful people by society’s standards play leading roles and the normal looking people play the dorky ones in the background. Whenever I encountered good looking girls in a bus, I was getting more upset because I felt like society pressures us into uniformity.

I became so angry that everyone is obsessed with their appearance. But most of all, I was angry at myself. My hate for everyone was just a reflection of my own self hate. I recognized myself in all of these people I was hating on. I was just the same as all other girls. And I hated it about myself. I felt like it made me a shallow stupid person. I couldn‘t stand it about myself. When I wasn‘t dressed well and when I wasn‘t wearing any make up, I felt ugly and unworthy. And when I was dressed well and looking good according to society’s expectations, I felt like an attention seeking whore. I felt like because of me there are so many people suffering.

Then I asked myself, what the hell am I doing? It doesn‘t matter what I look like, I always find a reason why to hate my body. I obviously have a problem.

Then I have realized how ridiculous this is. The only reason why we all care so much about our looks is because we don’t feel good enough. We think that we must live up to certain expectations in order to be considered beautiful. And not to be considered as beautiful means to me that no one will love us, we will end up alone and rejected.

Therefore it’s only natural that for us females it’s so important to look good. Most of us have a similar belief, that to be ugly means not to deserve love. That’s why we care so much about our looks. From our perspective our entire existence is dependent on it.

We have to realize that it’s not about what we look like. It’s all about self worth. We don’t have to change our bodies in order to be worthy and loved. We just need to learn how to appreciate ourselves more.

In the next article I’m going to tell you more about what you can do to love and accept your body.

Sorry if this post was too depressing, I just wanted to explore the shadows that cause so much pain in our society. I think that it’s important to have a clear image of what’s going on and how many people are suffering because of our crazy beauty obsessed society.

False self vs. Real self

Teal released a new video on false self vs. real self yesterday. It got me thinking about myself and my life. Do I really know who I am or do I just think that I know who I am?

It is true that many of us don’t know who we truly are. As Teal says in the video “We have created false selves that are so good at what they do; even we have mistaken them for ourselves. We have a major problem differentiating between our false self and our real self. ”

I know that this is very true. I did exactly the same thing. When I was very little I learned to distrust my emotional guidance system. I felt something, but my parents told me I shouldn’t feel this way. So I thought that something must be wrong with me. I began to feel ashamed for my true self. In order to avoid punishment I created a false self. Thanks to this false self I have gotten reward and I was accepted to society. After some time I started to identify with my false self so deeply that I completely forgot who I really am. I have mistaken my false self with my real self.

I identified with my false self until I was 14 years old. Then suddenly something has awakened within me and I started to question myself. I started to ask myself questions like: “Who am I? , What am I doing here?, What is the purpose of my life?, What do I like and what do I dislike?”. I realized that I know nothing about myself. Everything that other people told me about myself was not true. It wasn’t true because it didn’t feel good to me.

This is a list of things I used to identify with and other people used to identify with me:

• I am shy and antisocial.
• I don’t have my own opinions.
• I have no special gifts and talents.
• I have good grades and I am a hard worker.
• I am moral and I conform easily.
• I follow society’s rules and do what people tell me to do.

For many years I thought that this is who I am. This is what my parents, my friends, classmates and everyone I knew told me about myself.

Once I started to question myself, I could see that none of these things are actually true for me. I wasn’t born shy. My shyness is a result of self constriction and of my fear to fully express myself. I am not antisocial. I love to communicate with people and built deep bonds with them. I just didn’t have friends at that time because of my belief that no one would find me interesting enough to have me as a friend. And its not true that I have no gifts or talents. I was just too afraid to express them. I’m good at painting, writing, I’m a good listener, I give good advice to people, I am very empathic and creative… I just didn’t know these things about myself because I never tried them. And the biggest lie of all: I have no opinions. This is absolutely not true for me. I have so many opinions on all aspects of life. I didn’t express them to others because I was afraid that they will think I am crazy.

At the core of my being I am not conformative and I don’t like following society’s rules. I am a non conformist and a visionary. I believe that most systems we have on this planet now need to be reformed. I think that many rules that we have in this society are highly illogical and nonsensical. I love to come up with new ideas how our world could function in a new and brighter way.

I started to explore what I like and what I dislike. For example, all my life I thought that I dislike the color pink. Everyone around me hated pink and said that liking pink makes you a shallow girly girl that only cares about her own appearance. Of course I didn’t like to be seen as a shallow girly girl so every time someone asked me if I like pink, I said no. I didn’t wear pink, I didn’t buy anything that has a pink color on it. But then in the process of questioning myself I discovered that I actually love pink! Now what? Does it make me a bad person? I have realized that there is nothing wrong with color pink. It represents love, compassion, nurturing and caring. It fits my real personality perfectly. Now I am not ashamed to wear pink. I actually painted my room pink and I love it. And since I don’t consider myself shallow and attention seeking, no one has ever called me that! 🙂

Another surprising thing I discovered about myself is about the music that I like. I used to think that I dislike mainstream pop music. I thought that pop is only for stupid party people and I’m surely not one of them. Its true that I dislike 70% of songs they usually play on the radio, but from time to time, I find a mainstream pop song that I like. Sometimes I get mad at myself for liking something I shouldn’t like. It took me some time until I accepted this part of myself. There is nothing wrong with that. And I also had to face the fact that I like many music genres at the same time. Most people have their one favorite genre. But me not. I like almost all types of music, even the ones that should contradict themselves! 😀 I like classical music, but I also like popular music. I love chill out music, new age music, mantras and meditation music, but I also love metal :D. I also don’t mind rock music and sometimes I listen to rap. I adore celtic music, oriental music, indian music, arabic music… I like almost anything when it comes to music! I still don’t understand how is that possible. I don’t know how can someone like so many music genres at the same time, but I do like them and I cant do anything about it. I just have to accept that I like many things.

Pursuing the path of self discovery takes a lot of courage. Mostly we find out, that everything we thought we know about ourselves is wrong. Its like we lived our lives in illusion. We have to give in to uncertainty and be able to question everything we think we know about ourselves. At the end its worth it! A man who doesn’t know who he truly is cant be truly happy. Only someone who knows who he is and follows his dreams and his emotional guidance system can know what happiness is. That’s why pursuing the path of self discovery is the most risky and also the best thing you could ever do for yourself! Now is the time to question everything we think we know about ourselves!

The God spark

Today I feel like I have uncovered the secret to all relationships :). I know, it sounds monumental, and to me it feels monumental, because it solves all of my problems.

Inside of all of us, there is a pure little seed. I call it “the God spark”. In this life, we each have something so precious. If we were just to witness it in each other. Really witness it. For example that person at the shopping market today. What if you looked them in the eye and said: “How are you today?” Just connect with that spark inside each other. Because that God spark inside of me, inside of you, inside of all of us, it wants to see itself. It wants to witness itself, it wants to talk to itself, it wants to feel itself, it wants to touch itself. It wants to connect to itself.

I can’t tell you how many times in relationships, I cared much more about myself than about other people. I worried about what they are going to think about me, what if they won’t like me, what if they think something is wrong with me… I was so lost in my own fears, I didn’t really listen to the other person, I didn’t really care who they are and how are they feeling. I only cared about how I look in this conversation.

But I have realized that even if they don’t like me, how does it matter? The truth is that if a person dislikes me, it only means that this person isn’t in touch with their own God spark. Someone who is in touch with their God spark will see nothing but infinite potential and goodness in another person. So if someone doesn’t like me, it says nothing about me, but everything about them! People will love me, people will hate me, but none of it will ever have anything to do with me!

The most important thing to do is to become more aware of what you’re seeing in others. That’s the thing you want to be aware of.
Don’t worry about what other people are seeing in you. Don’t worry about the love they’re giving you, or the love they’re not giving you. Let your awareness be about what you’re putting out. Let your awareness be about how much you’re loving.

Don’t be running around saying: “Who loves me or who doesn’t love me? You could rather be saying: “Who do I love and what is it about you, that I love?’”

There’s only one of us here. The great cosmic joke is that we think there are many of us, when really, there is just one. 🙂

Bashar Quotes

This is a collection of my favorite quotes from Bashar. Enjoy! 🙂

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“Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics.”

“Circumstances do not determine your state of being. Your state of being determines your circumstances.”

“There is nowhere to go but here. Every change simply becomes another version of now.”

“The quickest path to enlightenment is to simply lighten up!”

“The only reason the feeling perpetuates, is because you don’t own it.”

“You are so unconditionally loved and supported that you are allowed to feel unsupported and not loved.”

“If you have writer’s block, write about having writer’s block, and you will no longer have it.”

“All circumstances can serve double duty- nothing has built in meaning.”

“That which exists cannot become non-existent. You will never cease to exist.”

“Relax into the idea of your indestructibility.”

“Circumstances don’t matter, only state of being matters.”

“You are a non-physical consciousness that is experiencing physical reality.”

“You attract your life experiences through the interaction of your strongest beliefs, emotions and actions.”

“You create the past and the future from the here and now.”

“Circumstances do not M-A-T-T-E-R. Do not MATERIALIZE things. Only your state of being MATTERS. Brings energy into MATTER. Materializes things.”

“Excitement tells you what you are best capable of doing. If something excites you, it excites you for a reason. There are not Extraneous creations, no accidental interactions.”

“What you have thought all the time as Fairy Tales is actually the way life is.”

“Do not rely on the outer world as your measuring stick for your own spiritual growth, rely on your response to the outer world to determine how much you have grown.”

“By invalidating yourself, you remove the stepping stone and have nowhere to go. Stop comparing yourself to where you think you’re supposed to be and start validating yourself where you are!”

“If you still react the same way to an old circumstance, you haven’t grown. It has nothing to do with whether or not that circumstance should be in your life anymore.”

“Every piece of art is a mirror and serves the function of reflectivity to expose to you and reveal to you more of who you are.”

“You are a dream of the infinite creation.”

“Begin with Self Valuation. For many people the most difficult thing is learning to value themselves.”

“Miracles are not the exception to the rule.. They are the natural, true order of the things.”

“Doubt is a 100% trust in a belief you don’t prefer. You are never really actually in doubt, you are always completely trusting in something. The question is what do you trust in?”

“Everything is in Perfect Timing; you do not have to rush things along. You are an Eternal being; you are right in step with the Transformation. What’s your hurry?”

“Everything already exists and you are just shifting into another reality, but you are doing it through a way that gives you an experience that you are re-growing the consciousness.”

“Nothing is too simple or too good to be true, and nothing is too wondrous or too ecstatic to be yours – nothing. You deserve all you can conceive of – because you exist! And if you exist, then obviously All That Is, the Infinite Creator believes you deserve to exist.”

“Recognize that you have chosen your purpose in being in this society at this time on your planet. Know that if you were not going to make a difference, you would not be here. As you begin to see the idea of the connection of everything in your society as it relates to you, and as you relate to it, you will begin to understand that each and every individual makes a difference within the society as a whole.”

“There is only the understanding of the thing that needs to be taught to every child on the planet, and that is the knowledge that every single individual on this planet is already powerful as he or she needs to be to create any reality desired, without having to hurt yourself, or anyone else, to get it. That’s how powerful you are.”

“The BEST possible version your PHYSICAL MIND is capable of imagining is the LEAST possible version your HIGHER MIND can imagine. So don’t stop the higher mind by saying, “That’s the best I can get.” Let the higher mind give you more than you believe you could get. Because if you insist that the picture that the physical mind gets is the best that can happen, you are actually limiting what might even be a more amazing way the higher mind could bring it about.”

“You are always learning and always teaching. Everyone is an equal teacher, and equal learner. It makes you an equal sharer. And you learn by doing – that is how you learn most quickly – by doing the thing you wish to learn about, in whatever way you are capable of doing it first.”

“How can you be afraid to feel? Isn’t fear a feeling? If you’re feeling fear, you’ve felt one of the most negative emotions there is to feel. Everything else should be a piece of cake. Feel good, feel happy, feel healthy, feel loved, feel abundant, feel creative, feel compassionate, feel knowledgeable, feel powerful.”

“You seem to have problems only because you are misusing time. You believe that the problem comes first, and that time must elapse before it can be worked out, but do not see the problem and the answer as simultaneous in their occurrence at the quantum mechanics level.”

“It’s the excitement in the simple things that tells you what simple things are actually connected to the bigger things that excite you. And will actually get you there in what may seem to be a round about manner, but by following the excitement is actually the shortest, fastest, straightest path.”

What Is Spirituality?

I like the idea of “spirituality”, but I often find the word “spiritual” irritating. I’m a spiritual person, but I hear it used so often by people I don’t like, that I refrain from using the word.

Somewhere along the way, the word “spiritual” has become synonymous with supernatural. And this is the problem with labeling experiences which are alive and wonderful, with words that are inanimate, dead and open to interpretation.

The concept of spirituality can narrow our thinking rather than extend it. All too often we make certain things spiritual, and other things “un-spiritual”. For instance, can reading be a spiritual experience? Can having a shower be a spiritual experience? Can giving birth to a baby, or dancing or eating be a spiritual experience? It’s not the experience that is innately spiritual – anything can be spiritual deep down. Rather, our perceptions and states of mind judge something as being spiritual or not.

Being a “spiritual” person is commonly associated with being a “religious person” – but this isn’t always the case. Spirituality has no absolute definition, but generally it is perceived as having a great sensitivity to life, this includes: to other people, to nature, to animals and to our own existences.

Spirituality, the way I interpret it, is the search for meaning, purpose and direction, the journey of self-discovery and self-understanding. It is a desire to become your best possible self, and to transcend who you are, or who you think you are, through either a higher power or our interconnectedness as living beings.

If spirituality is to find purpose in life and to become the best possible people we can be, the first step is to figure out where we currently are. How can we go anywhere unless we first know where we are? This is why we so often find ourselves going around in circles, making the same mistakes over and over again.

Many people go through life without stopping, without questioning and without listening. We unconsciously go from one moment to the next without attempting to cultivate a new way of doing things, or a new way of looking at every experience we have in our fleeting lives.

But how do we find our own spiritual paths? There are several ways. For starters, we can keep an open mind to experience things we may have otherwise rejected with our ‘old’ perceptions of life. We can begin questioning our current belief systems, our current ambitions, dreams and ideas of who we think we are, or should be. And most importantly, we can enhance our awareness of life and of the present moment, by accepting moment to moment without any judgement, resistance or comparison to ideals or memories, that which is presented to us.

Awareness isn’t something very difficult to aspire to. Even eating can become a spiritual experience when we deliberately pay attention to our senses. The taste, the smell, the sight, and the consistency of a meal are all things that go unnoticed to us when we eat while being distracted by talking to someone, or watching the TV.

By being aware of such small things from time to time, we are much more in touch with what is happening in the ‘now’ internally and externally, and thus, we become much more clear about the path we are currently on, and whether we want to be taking the path or not. Spirituality is our Existential GPS.

To the unaware, “dreamlike” mind, the perception of life is one that jumps from one distraction to the next, always touching the surface and never quite feeling any solid ground of significance, or of meaningfulness and wholeness.

This background noise that is always somewhere in our heads can be calmed down in many different ways. For instance, exercise, getting lost in an artistic creation by submergence in the present moment, and meditation, all serve to dissect the concept we’ve built and called reality.

Meditation, for example, can slowly allow us to gain awareness by helping us to become an observer of our emotions and thoughts. It can change our perceptions of life from the subjectively unaware and reactive, to the objectively focused, in control, and aware. This awareness, this understanding of our inner minds, will remove obstacles, discover energies and consequently, help to create paths in our lives.

Things I love about myself

To be confident enough to acknowledge not only one’s own weaknesses, but also one’s own strengths is admirable. It is also necessary for success. It is a crucial part of self-awareness. All too often we think that the people who are self-aware are the ones who are acutely aware of their foibles.  But he, who is aware of his foibles, may be unaware of his many wonders.  And a person who is unaware of his positive aspects is just as lacking in the area of self-awareness as a person who is unaware of his negative aspects.

This is a sad world that we live in if self-deprecation makes someone “good”. And high self-regard makes someone “bad”. It is no wonder that the root of so many problems here on earth is the lack of self-love. We are confusing self denigration with humility. To regard yourself highly is not necessarily to regard others as low.

I do not think that self-deprecation is an admirable quality. It upsets me that it is the foundation of being liked by others.  Women are the worst when it comes to this. I have observed that if you announce to a woman what you like about yourself, they will look at you with an heir of judgmental disgust. Whereas if you announce to a woman what you hate about yourself, they will rush to your aid by complimenting you and establishing rapport. The lesson we females learn when we are very young, is that the way to get along with other women is to put ourselves down.

Do not mistake self love for narcissism.  It is important to focus on things that cause you to feel good about yourself. Your relationship with yourself is your only guaranteed lifelong relationship.

I am going to make a list of things that I love and appreciate about myself. And I encourage everyone to do the same.

• I am kind.
• I am loving.
• I am adorable.
• I am inspiring.
• I am curious.
• I am intelligent and wise.
• I am committed.
• I am genuine.
• I am original.
• I am generous.
• I am fascinating.
• I am a visionary.
• I am extremely deep.
• I care.
• I am brave.
• I am sensitive.
• I am creative.
• I am compassionate.
• I am idealist.
• I am romantic.
• I empower others
• I love to laugh.
• I am a good writer.
• I am a good listener.
• I am extremely gracious.
• I am feminine.
• I can admit my mistakes
• I have good taste.
• I am good at languages.
• I am good at singing.
• I am a good hearted person.
• I am physically beautiful.
• I am a good friend.
• I can find beauty in anything.
• I am interested in life.
• I am not afraid of the shadow aspects of myself or other people.
• I am dedicated to decreasing suffering on this planet.
• I am dedicated to being as conscious and self aware as I possibly can be.
• I crave to see other people and beings happy and thriving.
• I can explain well a lot of things.
• I love being a woman.
• Bad experiences make me stronger (I am able to learn from them).
• I focus on my true desires.
• I am a shining example of how one can change.
• I am open to new things and new ideas.
• My connection with the source energy is mystical.
• I have a bright future ahead of me.
• I know more secrets about the universe than most people do.
• I have a great appreciation for life.
• I am committed to living consciously.
• I have great imagination.
• I am willing to say I am sorry.
• I am willing to admit I was wrong.
• I am able to experience oneness.
• I am a stream of consciousness conscious of itself.
• I am a joyful expression of source energy.
• I am worthy and deserve love and happiness.
• I am all and all is me.

What is the purpose of life?

Today I have had an interesting conversation about the meaning of life with my family members. This conversation inspired me to think about my own ideas and beliefs that I have about life and existence in general.

We were discussing if life has a meaning and purpose. My family members said that we do not know this. That no one really knows and if you think you know it, you might be wrong. This is interesting to me because I spent so many years figuring it out and I think I know the answer.

From the teachings I have studied over the years I have created my own philosophy, my own “religion” based on information that resonates with me. The answer to the question if life has a purpose would according to myself be this: I do believe that life has a purpose. I do not believe in accidents of any kind. I believe that the purpose of life is the expansion of the universe. We, in our physical lives, are a thought which Source (which we are an extension of) thought into existence. We are a thought which now… thinks. And it is our thoughts (which hold a vibration of desire) which inform Source what to become the vibrational equivalent of. Evolution is the natural byproduct of life.

But at the same time I believe that life has no meaning. What I mean by this is that no situation has a built in meaning. All the circumstances are neutral. They can be experiences in both ways – positive and negative. But the meaning you give it, the definition you assign to any given neutral situation is exactly what determines the effect you will get out of that situation. They can create for you a negative or a positive reflection that is solely determined by what attitude and belief system and definition you assign to that situation. So no matter what anyone else’s intention in any given circumstance might be toward you, if you assign only a positive meaning to that circumstance and situation then you will only receive a positive effect out of that circumstance no matter what anyone else experiences.

Some people disagree with me. They say that I have no evidence that supports these claims. How can I know that it is true? The reason that I believe in this is because of all the philosophies that I have studied and researched, this makes most sense to me. It resonates with me. My intuition tells me it is so. It is natural to me. I do not follow these ideas like an ideology. I think of myself as an open minded person. I question my beliefs regularly. I might be wrong.

But what if these ideas are not just a philosophy? What if these are laws of the universe? What if this is in fact physics?

Nobody here on earth questions if gravity is real. We all know that it is. We experience it in our daily lifes. Nobody also questions the fact if the air is real. We all know it is real. So what if these what we call philosophical ideas are laws of physics too? I do believe that they are.

For example, I believe without a shadow of a doubt that consciousness creates reality. For me it is an undeniable fact. I think it has been proven many times in our world. There have been experiments in which thousands of people were focusing their thoughts on a city.  The results of these group meditations are overwhelming. It has been scientifically proven that positive focus can decrease crime, violence, accidents, and illness. You can do more research on this when you google “The Maharishi Effect”. Another example would be the effect that thoughts and words (vibrations in general) have on water crystals. I think many of you are familiar with Masaru Emoto and his fantastic research. These are just two examples, I am sure that there are many many others. In fact, quantum physics says, that the universe we live in appears material but it’s not. It is Divine Intelligence expressing as a physical universe that’s aligned with our thoughts.

I would like to know your opinion on this. Do you believe that life has a meaning and purpose? If so, what do you think it is and why?