Tag Archive | questions

Self Inquiry

Teal posted this article on her blog, where she shares a collection of questions that will lead you back to the truth of yourself in the now. I have decided to answer those questions and share them with you:

1. What do I want to experience out of life before I die?

I want to love and accept myself completely. I want to experience an existence free of fear. I want to feel like I enjoy the journey of life. I want to know what it feels like to feel like I’ve done all I came to this earth to do. I want to share my gifts with the world. I want to feel a sense of togetherness, belonging & true community. I want to connect with people who share my vision and work with them to make this world a brighter place. I want to be surrounded with people who love me and support me in every way. I want to travel to lots of different places and meet wonderful people all over the world. I want to help to transform the financial, justice, educational and healthcare systems. I want to become a counselor and help people to become the best version of themselves. I want to inspire people and make them realize that they are loved and supported by the entire existence. I want to experience abundance in all ways possible.

2. How do I want to grow?

I want to master the art of being able to return to happiness and the present moment. I want to be able to not take things personally. I want to be strong in my convictions and stand by my truth. I want to trust myself to act on my highest excitement in every moment. I want to become master shadow worker and I want to read peoples belief systems and motivations easily.

3. What/How do I want to contribute?

I want to spread love, compassion and appreciation. I want my life to be my message. I want to connect with people on a deep level and help them to accept and love themselves by loving them unconditionally.

4. What is my number one priority in my life?

Happiness, self-love and inner strength.

5. What would you do differently if you knew there would be no consequences (Ie. No one would judge you)?

I would allow myself to be frustrated, depressed and upset without feeling guilty about it. I would express my emotions freely.

6. What are my top ten needs?

Home/shelter, Running Water, Food, Clothes, Physical Wellbeing and Mobility, Family, Love – Self and otherwise, Music, To feel good about myself, To experience the manifestation of my desires

7. How am I living fully?

I stand up for myself and for my true desires. I don’t let other people tell me how I should live. I’m working on myself and integrating all parts of my being. I’m releasing resistance and pain that comes from my painful childhood experiences. I’m moving towards self love. Everyday I learn something new about myself and about the world.

8. How am I not living fully?

I’m afraid to open up to some people because I fear rejection. I keep my opinions to myself because I’m scared that other people will think I’m a freak. I’m scared of negative judgement. I’m scared of failure and sometimes I find myself slipping back to the old belief that I’m worthless. I could allow more time for exercise, creativity and fun.

9. How am I loving fully?

I’m moving towards self love and love for myself makes me able to love anyone unconditionally.

10. How am I not loving fully?

When I’m emotionally hurt by something someone says, I have the tendency to find it difficult to get over that injury and I maintain feelings of fear and rage towards that person. Then, I turn it in on myself and I convince myself that the universe is punishing me and that I’m too unhealthy because of my childhood to have good feeling relationships.

11. If you could do your life over again, what would you do differently?

I wouldn’t do anything differently. My past has brought me to the point where I am now. I do like who I am now. Without my past I wouldn’t have an understanding of darkness, fear, powerlessness and unhappiness.

12. What am I doing because I think it will eventually make me happy, but that is currently making me unhappy?

Prioritizing my focus on things that I think “have to be done” instead of on things I feel inspired to do.

13. If I found out I was going to die in a year, what would I do today and for the rest of the year I had left?

I wouldn’t go to collage, because what’s the point of studying when I will never finish it and get my dream job? I would go backpacking to Australia and Asia. I would travel the world and see the sacred sites and visit all my online friends.

14. What is preventing me from doing those things now, regardless of how long I have to live?

I want to go to collage first and mature a little before I go and travel the world. I also need more money and experience.

15. What could I do to make myself feel even better right now and enjoy right now even more?

Having the confidence needed to know that I can articulate my needs and wants effectively to those around me. This would allow for a safe and nurturing environment for the real me to be expressed fully and to my highest potential.

16. What pain do you want (In other words, if pain was unavoidable, what are you willing to struggle for)?

I am open to whatever pain or struggle gains me the most expansion and allows for my soul to do what it came here to do.

17. Who do you love and what are you doing about it? What are you not doing about it?

I love my sister and my brother for supporting me even when the entire family is against me. I don’t know where I would be without my sister, probably I would have killed myself or I would have a bad depression. I also love my friends and supporters.

18. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you were?

Sometimes I feel like a truly old soul, been here a million times. Other times I feel like I have no clue what’s really going on like I’m still running around in diapers 😀

19. What belief is the best belief you possess? And what belief is the most painful belief you possess?

I believe that each one of us is a powerful creator and an extension of source energy.I believe in the genuine goodness of every human being.

I believe that I am not worth anyone’s time and that I will be left alone/ abandoned.That I am fated to be disappointed, unhappy and suffer; that no one will love me for the rest of my life and that my authentic struggles make me incapable of being lovable.

20. What ten things are you the most grateful for in your life?

1. My understanding of people and this universe and the compassion it has given rise to within me.

2. The people in my life who see value and beauty in me, and remind me of it.

3. I am grateful for my painful childhood experiences, because only thanks to them I have experienced total powerlessness and self hate. This inspired me to think about the purpose of life and the entire existence. It inspired me to go on a journey toward finding out what is reality and how does it work. It also inspired me to love myself.

4. I am grateful for my mother for being my biggest mirror and reflecting to me my shadow sides that need to be healed.

5. I am grateful for the internet itself and my online family. I am grateful that I can share my story and my opinions on my blogs:)

6. I am grateful for my talents and abilities.

7. I am grateful for being able to live in this exciting time on planet earth.

8. I am grateful for the guidance I received through many spiritual teachers. I am grateful that they reminded me of the knowledge that has always been within me.

9. I am grateful for great experiences that will never be forgotten.

10. I am grateful that I am always 100% supported by the universe.

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Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet

I became familiar with the Work of Byron Katie. I think her Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet is awesome and very helpful so I filled it in when I was angry with my mother:

1. In this situation, time, and location, who angers, confuses, or disappoints you, and why? 

I am angry with my mother because she underestimates me and she only sees the worst in me. She tells me that I’m not good enough to pursue my dreams. She tells me that I’m wasting my life. She tells me that I’m not smart enough to pass the entrance exams. She tells me that I’m a waste of space and no one loves me. She tells me that I will never be independent. She tells me that I’m not that kind of person anyone would ever fall in love with. She tells me that I will end up poor and alone and depressed. She tells me that I have failed my life. She tells me that I shouldn’t have been born because my existence only bothers people around me. She tells me that I’m mentally retarded and I should visit a psychiatrist. She tells me that I’m naive a stupid. She tells me that I’m crazy and not normal because I don’t have any friends except the internet. She tells me that no one would ever like or love a person like me. She tells me that with my attitude I will never be successful in my life. She tells me that I will go through lot of pain and suffering in life. She constantly compares me to herself at her age, to my younger sister, to other people in my age who in her opinion have achieved much more in their lifes. She tells me that I was born flawed and I’m predestined to have a life full of suffering.

2. In this situation, how do you want them to change? What do you want them to do?

I want my mother to acknowledge me. I want her to see my true self, the true beauty of my being. I want her to see that I’m a worthy being full of love and infinite potential. I want her to get to know the true me. I want her to stop thinking I’m insane. I want her to support me in pursuing my dreams. I want her to love me for who I am and not hate me for who I’m not. I want her to see my attempts to heal our relationship. I want her to acknowledge my uniqueness.

3. In this situation, what advice would you offer to them?

My mother should realize how much she is hurting me with her behavior. She should try to be more emphatic and she should see that I am a human being and I have feelings too. She should see how much her words and actions influenced my life when I was a child. She should see how much pain she has created with her stupid words. She should realize that it’s impossible to be unworthy. She should forgive herself and she should love herself. Then she will no longer hate me and she will see the beauty in me. She should try to get to know me better. She should focus on the good side of me. She should look at my talents and abilities.

4. In order for you to be happy in this situation, what do you need them to think, say, feel, or do?

I need my mother to look at me from another perspective. I need her to see my true talents and abilities. I need her to stop criticizing me and looking for all the things that are wrong with me. I need her to admit that I am worthy and I deserve to exist.

5. What do you think of them in this situation? Make a list.

My mother is unfair, arrogant, selfish, awful, pessimistic, rude, way out of line and unconscious. She is self hating, self sabotaging, self destructing and depressed.

6. What is it in or about this situation that you don’t ever want to experience again?

I don’t ever want my mother to treat me like this. I don’t ever want her to underestimate me so much. I don’t ever want her to tell me that I shouldn’t have been born. I don’t ever want her to make me feel guilty for existing. I don’t ever want her to make me feel like I am a worthless piece of shit that doesn’t deserve any love. I don’t ever want her to make me feel like I’m rejected and abandoned by everyone. I don’t ever want her to make me feel like I’m incapable of doing any real job. I don’t ever want her to tell me that I can’t achieve my dreams. I don’t ever want her to treat me like I’m not good enough and not a worthy human being.

Now I have to investigate each of the above statements using the four questions.

The four questions

My mother thinks that I am a worthless
1. Is it true? She thinks it is but fundamentally it is not.
2. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? I feel horrible and hopeless when I think this thought.
3. Who would you be without the thought? I would be confident and self loving.

Turn the thought around
a) to the self. I think that I am worthless.
b) to the other. I think that my mother is worthless
c) to the opposite. My mother thinks I am worthy.

As I began to turn around these statements, I noticed that I was everything I called my mother. She was merely my projection. Now, instead of trying to change the world around me, I can put the thoughts on paper, investigate them, turn them around, and find that I am the very thing I thought she was. In the moment I see her as selfish, I am selfish (deciding how she should be). In the moment I see her as unkind, I am unkind. If I believe she should stop waging war, I am waging war on her in my mind. When I think she is arrogant, I am being arrogant. When I see her as pessimistic, I am pessimistic.

She is nothing else but  a reflection. And it also works the other way around. When my mother tells me I am worthless, it’s because she believes she’s worthless. If she calls me impractical and useless, it’s because she feels impractical and useless. Everything she judges about me in a negative way is what she judges about herself.

Now with this knowledge, I’m no longer so angry at my mother. Now I understand that she has been behaving to me this way because she’s suffering inside. All these things she has called me have absolutely nothing to do with me. Not even a little bit!

I don’t need my mother to tell me I am worthy in order to feel worthy. I  don’t need anyone to tell me this. If I don’t give love to myself, all the people of the world can tell me they love me and still I wouldn’t believe them.

The next time me and my mother are having a fight, I’m going to remember than none of the things she’s calling me is actually true. I won’t take it personally.

What is the purpose of life?

Today I have had an interesting conversation about the meaning of life with my family members. This conversation inspired me to think about my own ideas and beliefs that I have about life and existence in general.

We were discussing if life has a meaning and purpose. My family members said that we do not know this. That no one really knows and if you think you know it, you might be wrong. This is interesting to me because I spent so many years figuring it out and I think I know the answer.

From the teachings I have studied over the years I have created my own philosophy, my own “religion” based on information that resonates with me. The answer to the question if life has a purpose would according to myself be this: I do believe that life has a purpose. I do not believe in accidents of any kind. I believe that the purpose of life is the expansion of the universe. We, in our physical lives, are a thought which Source (which we are an extension of) thought into existence. We are a thought which now… thinks. And it is our thoughts (which hold a vibration of desire) which inform Source what to become the vibrational equivalent of. Evolution is the natural byproduct of life.

But at the same time I believe that life has no meaning. What I mean by this is that no situation has a built in meaning. All the circumstances are neutral. They can be experiences in both ways – positive and negative. But the meaning you give it, the definition you assign to any given neutral situation is exactly what determines the effect you will get out of that situation. They can create for you a negative or a positive reflection that is solely determined by what attitude and belief system and definition you assign to that situation. So no matter what anyone else’s intention in any given circumstance might be toward you, if you assign only a positive meaning to that circumstance and situation then you will only receive a positive effect out of that circumstance no matter what anyone else experiences.

Some people disagree with me. They say that I have no evidence that supports these claims. How can I know that it is true? The reason that I believe in this is because of all the philosophies that I have studied and researched, this makes most sense to me. It resonates with me. My intuition tells me it is so. It is natural to me. I do not follow these ideas like an ideology. I think of myself as an open minded person. I question my beliefs regularly. I might be wrong.

But what if these ideas are not just a philosophy? What if these are laws of the universe? What if this is in fact physics?

Nobody here on earth questions if gravity is real. We all know that it is. We experience it in our daily lifes. Nobody also questions the fact if the air is real. We all know it is real. So what if these what we call philosophical ideas are laws of physics too? I do believe that they are.

For example, I believe without a shadow of a doubt that consciousness creates reality. For me it is an undeniable fact. I think it has been proven many times in our world. There have been experiments in which thousands of people were focusing their thoughts on a city.  The results of these group meditations are overwhelming. It has been scientifically proven that positive focus can decrease crime, violence, accidents, and illness. You can do more research on this when you google “The Maharishi Effect”. Another example would be the effect that thoughts and words (vibrations in general) have on water crystals. I think many of you are familiar with Masaru Emoto and his fantastic research. These are just two examples, I am sure that there are many many others. In fact, quantum physics says, that the universe we live in appears material but it’s not. It is Divine Intelligence expressing as a physical universe that’s aligned with our thoughts.

I would like to know your opinion on this. Do you believe that life has a meaning and purpose? If so, what do you think it is and why?

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