Tag Archive | Philosophy

Things that happen as you start loving yourself

“I love myself…I love you. I love you…I love myself.” ~ Rumi

There is no greater love than self love.

As you begin to embrace and accept yourself fully, you will be able to embrace and accept the world around you fully.
We give what we have and the more love we have for ourselves, the more love we will be able to give to those around us.
True love starts with you. If it flows through you abundantly, it will flow back to you abundantly.
Give more of it to yourself and you will have more to give to others.

What I will share with you today is a list of 10 magical things that start to happen as you begin to love yourself.

1. Authenticity
“As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY”.

2. Respect
As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody if I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it “RESPECT”.

3. Maturity
As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it “MATURITY”.

4. Self-confidence
As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment. So I could be calm. Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE”.

5. Simplicity
As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it “SIMPLICITY”.

6. Love of oneself
As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF”.

7. Modesty
As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is “MODESTY”.

8. Fulfillment
As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worrying about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where everything is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT”.

9. Wisdom of the heart
As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But as I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART”.

10. Knowing
We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know “THAT IS LIFE”!” ~ (attributed to) Charlie Chaplin on his 70th birthday: As I Began to Love Myself.

Are you ready and willing to start loving yourself more and more each day? What is one thing you will do today to move yourself in that direction? You can share your comment by joining the conversation in the comment section below 🙂

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How to give up your inner critic

If you constantly tell yourself you how much you suck, how not pretty you are, how much smarter you should be, and how much more you should be doing, you are not alone. Every one of us has an inner critic, and success depends on breaking up with her and getting into bed with your true inner voice.
My inner critic shows up often and uninvited. Already, this morning, it told me I haven’t gotten enough work done yet (as I write this article), and that I should have had a healthier breakfast (when it was already healthy enough).
For most of my life, I believed that I was not good enough, that other people were smarter, prettier, more intelligent, more talented… I never acknowledged my successes because in my mind I could have done better. None of those accomplishments mattered because all I could hear was the negative chatter of not having done as much as everybody else.
The truth is, unless you learn to master this voice, you are never going to be satisfied with your life. This can lead to downright emotional exhaustion. You can become a doctor, earn millions of dollars, but if the voice inside tells you it’s not enough, you’re going to want to get another shiny degree, or become a billionaire and you still won’t be any happier once you get there.
Here are 5 ways to drown your inner critic and let the real you shine through.

1. Make a list of all your positive traits and successes

List 30 things that are positive about you. Then, list another 30 of your major successes. Keep this list close to you. Refer to it when your inner critic rears itself. Focusing on the positive qualities and successes helps you feel better about yourself, and feeling better about yourself makes you more productive, happier, and healthier.

2. Keep an inner critic page in your journal

Awareness is the key to beginning to curb your negative thoughts. Pay close attention to when your mind starts to trail off. Write down the thought in your journal so that you can begin to decipher thinking patterns and begin to shift them. A negative thought pattern may sound like “Gosh, I’m stupid. I’ll never do anything right. I can’t get it together. I’m a mess. I’m scattered. I’m not as good as she is. I’m a bad hostess.” Once you’ve got a list going, proceed to the next step.

3. Use thought rebuttals

We’re prone to making blanket statements about ourselves that aren’t true, hearing only what we want to hear when others compliment us, taking things personally, blaming ourselves for not being enough. We use ‘should’ and and ‘never’ without thinking of whether these things are true. Next time you write a negative thought in your inner critic page, ask yourself if it’s true? It most likely isn’t, so write down what is true. Learning to get in touch with reality will help your true voice come out.

4. Create 3 positive mantras from your list of positive qualities

Choose 3 positive qualities from your list. Create 3 positive affirmations you can recite to yourself. Or write them down on post-it notes and leave them on your bathroom mirror, in your car, or in your purse. Having a visual aid will help remind you there are some wonderful things about you even when you’re not feeling it.

5. Visualize a time when you felt successful

Think of a time when you felt successful. Recall the smells, colors, and feelings you felt that day. Visualization is a surprisingly powerful tool that helps reconnect you to a specific feeling, and the more you can connect to that feeling, the more you begin to see yourself as perfect the way you are.
It’s easy to disregard the good parts of you and minimize your accomplishments. But the more you can make space to find the positive, the more you grow, thrive, and become the human you were meant to become. Breaking up with your inner critic and learning to listen to your inner voice isn’t easy, and takes real effort and work, but doing the work and breaking free is the most powerful thing you can do to become your best self.

My goals

In my previous article I wrote about my life changing decision. I’ve realized that I have been living a life of constriction. And to live that kind of life is to not let the light of my being to shine through.

I’ve decided to stop procrastinating and to start living my highest potential. And I really mean it. I’m not going to try to do this. I’m committed to it 100% and there’s no going back. There will be no excuses.

When I start doubting myself or when I feel lazy, I’m just going to remind myself that I’ve been given the gift of this life. I have a great potential. I can create a wonderful, exciting life for myself. The only person standing in my way is myself. Will I make the best out of this life, or will I live my life safely…only to arrive at death safely?

I have two options. I can 1) stick to my old habits and patterns, or I can 2) develop new habits that serve my highest good.

When I choose the first option, I’m going to continue doubting myself, I will never try anything new, I won’t be able to find any new friends and make deep bonds with people, I will eventually get sick and fat, I will end up being depressed, deeply disappointed and frustrated in life. Most likely I will never marry and have children, I will have a poor payed job that frustrates me and I will die because of all the pain and sadness.

When I choose the second option, I’m going to be able to accept and love myself for who I am. I will become my best self and reach my highest potential. I will face all the difficulties like they are challenges. I will be able to conquer any fear. I’m going to have many wonderful friends and people. I will inspire people around me. I’m going to have my dream job and I will be able to help people. Most likely I will meet my life partner and we will start a family. I will be healthy and feel good about my body. My life will be a challenging, exciting and ecstatic experience.

I don’t even have to ask myself which option I prefer. Obviously, it’s the second one. I can’t believe I used to be so stupid and I did my best to end up like a person in the first option. Thankfully, now I’m smart enough to realize that I can change my life right here, right now. I’m pursuing my goals and nothing can make me change my mind or stop me from becoming my best self.

Willpower

So, at the beginning, it’s essential to set clear goals. I’m going to list my goals and I’m going to write everything that I will do on a daily basis to reach that goal: I want to be more open as a person. I want to become my true, authentic self.

  • I will share everything that I believe in with other people.
  • I will stop to tone myself down in order to be accepted by others.
  • I will be perfectly honest all the time.
  • I will stop keeping secrets.
  • I will stop isolating myself.
  • I will express my emotions.
  • I will stop trying to fit myself into a life dictated by society.

I want to develop self love and self appreciation.

  • I will live my life according to the question: What would a person that loved themselves do?
  • I will take time to do things that excite me every day.
  • I will celebrate my successes.
  • Whenever I look in the mirror, I will search for things I can appreciate about my body.
  • I will keep a gratitude journal. Every day I will list all the things I’m thankful for.
  • I will be spending my time productively and make myself proud every day.

I want to be accepted for psychology studies.

  • I will summarize one chapter from the psychology book every day.
  • I will summarize one chapter from the social sciences book every day.
  • I will be solving math problems every day.
  • I will train my logical thinking and spatial intelligence.

I want to find a part time job.

  • I will be actively searching for job options every day until I find the best one.
  • I will apply for it and do my best to be accepted.

I want to create and sell my mandalas.

  • I will work on a mandala every day for at least 1 hour.

I want to find friends and meet like minded people.

  • I will go out more and search for like minded individuals.
  • I will be more active on social sites and on my blogs.
  • I will message interesting people daily until I find someone who understands me and with whom I can share my life with.

I want to get in shape and feel good in my body.

  • I will exercise each day for at least 10 minutes in the morning and 10 minutes in the afternoon.
  • I will take a walk outside each day for at least 15 minutes.

I want to eat healthy food and stop overeating.

  • I won’t eat when I’m not hungry.
  • I won’t eat any chocolates or candies.
  • I will drink more pure water.
  • I will take vitamins every day.

I want to go to bed earlier.

  • I will go to sleep at 10 PM every day.

I want to wake up earlier.

  • I will wake up at 7 AM every day.

What is the purpose of life?

Today I have had an interesting conversation about the meaning of life with my family members. This conversation inspired me to think about my own ideas and beliefs that I have about life and existence in general.

We were discussing if life has a meaning and purpose. My family members said that we do not know this. That no one really knows and if you think you know it, you might be wrong. This is interesting to me because I spent so many years figuring it out and I think I know the answer.

From the teachings I have studied over the years I have created my own philosophy, my own “religion” based on information that resonates with me. The answer to the question if life has a purpose would according to myself be this: I do believe that life has a purpose. I do not believe in accidents of any kind. I believe that the purpose of life is the expansion of the universe. We, in our physical lives, are a thought which Source (which we are an extension of) thought into existence. We are a thought which now… thinks. And it is our thoughts (which hold a vibration of desire) which inform Source what to become the vibrational equivalent of. Evolution is the natural byproduct of life.

But at the same time I believe that life has no meaning. What I mean by this is that no situation has a built in meaning. All the circumstances are neutral. They can be experiences in both ways – positive and negative. But the meaning you give it, the definition you assign to any given neutral situation is exactly what determines the effect you will get out of that situation. They can create for you a negative or a positive reflection that is solely determined by what attitude and belief system and definition you assign to that situation. So no matter what anyone else’s intention in any given circumstance might be toward you, if you assign only a positive meaning to that circumstance and situation then you will only receive a positive effect out of that circumstance no matter what anyone else experiences.

Some people disagree with me. They say that I have no evidence that supports these claims. How can I know that it is true? The reason that I believe in this is because of all the philosophies that I have studied and researched, this makes most sense to me. It resonates with me. My intuition tells me it is so. It is natural to me. I do not follow these ideas like an ideology. I think of myself as an open minded person. I question my beliefs regularly. I might be wrong.

But what if these ideas are not just a philosophy? What if these are laws of the universe? What if this is in fact physics?

Nobody here on earth questions if gravity is real. We all know that it is. We experience it in our daily lifes. Nobody also questions the fact if the air is real. We all know it is real. So what if these what we call philosophical ideas are laws of physics too? I do believe that they are.

For example, I believe without a shadow of a doubt that consciousness creates reality. For me it is an undeniable fact. I think it has been proven many times in our world. There have been experiments in which thousands of people were focusing their thoughts on a city.  The results of these group meditations are overwhelming. It has been scientifically proven that positive focus can decrease crime, violence, accidents, and illness. You can do more research on this when you google “The Maharishi Effect”. Another example would be the effect that thoughts and words (vibrations in general) have on water crystals. I think many of you are familiar with Masaru Emoto and his fantastic research. These are just two examples, I am sure that there are many many others. In fact, quantum physics says, that the universe we live in appears material but it’s not. It is Divine Intelligence expressing as a physical universe that’s aligned with our thoughts.

I would like to know your opinion on this. Do you believe that life has a meaning and purpose? If so, what do you think it is and why?

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January 2014 (month review)

January has been a month of intense changes for me. I have never experienced such an exciting and challenging month. It also feels like the longest month ever – so many things happened that I can not believe that just a month ago I was a completely different person.

I have made lots of life changing decisions. At the beginning of this month I thought I was going to study medicine. Now I want to become a psychologist (see a previous post on how I chose my career for more details).

Besides the fact that I made such radical changes in my future career, I have also faced many different challenges. It feels like all of my fears that I was suppressing my entire life came to surface. I could no longer avoid them. I saw them clearly. Each day of this month I did some shadow work. I digged deep into my personality. I reconsidered everything that I knew about myself. I faced all of my fears. And the result from this process are astonishing. Things that were causing me to feel terrible about my life and myself no longer feel so bad. Actually, I started to enjoy them. I started to enjoy all the challenges because now I know that I am strong enough to achieve any goal.

For the first time in my life I can say “I love myself” and I really mean it. Nothing feels better than self love and self empowerment. It feels like you have your best friend with you all the time. And my best friend is myself. I no longer make myself feel guilty for things that I have done or have not done. I completely accept my past, I value it and appreciate it. Without everything I went through I would not be here where I am now. Every single experience, no matter how painful it was, served a positive purpose. And now I can see clearly why I chose to experience everything that I have experienced. I see why I chose to be born in this family, why I chose my appearance, why I chose this theme to explore in this life. I do not regret this decision.

I know that I have an infinite potential. My future is not set in stone. I know that it is a blank canvas and only I can decide what do I paint. I can feel the freedom to choose any perspective in any given moment. I feel the excitement that comes from knowing that I am the creator of my own reality. I know that whatever happens, I can always choose to experience it in a positive way. I no longer have any problems. I only face challenges. And every new challenge makes me even stronger and more aware of my true self. Life is really wonderful when you choose to see it in this way!

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How to change a belief

Last time I told you what beliefs are. Today I am going to tell you how to consciously change a belief. This process is based on Teal Scott’s teachings on how to change a belief. I find it really helpful and it works for me so I hope it will work for you too. The steps for changing a detrimental belief are:

1. Identify the belief. If you do not know how to do that, read the article on Shadow work that I wrote just recently.
It is important to work with a core belief. For example the thought “I hate speaking in public “is not a core belief. It is an emotional reaction to a core belief. A core belief can be “I am not good enough”. You always want to be working with the root belief when you are dealing with changing your beliefs. Because if you do not, it will just keep coming back.

2. Decide if the belief is beneficial or detrimental to you.

3. Decide what you would rather believe instead. Let your non beneficial beliefs be your inspiration towards beliefs you want to believe.

4. Determine the emotions that are holding you to the belief like glue. Decide if the emotional pay off is worth keeping the belief or not. For example: If I believe that I am not good enough, if I am being really honest about the emotional pay off it might look something like: I get pity when I feel like I am not good enough and that pity feels like people care about me. Or: when I think thoughts like I am not good enough, I give up the responsibility of having to try something new. You have to decide if the emotional pay off is worth the limitations of the beliefs which you are holding. If not, decide you are ready to let go of it. Nothing will help anybody to change something if they do not want to change it.

5. Seek out alternative evidence and alternative explanations which undermine the validity of your detrimental belief. Replace the evidence you’ve been using to back up and support your detrimental belief with evidence that undermines it! For example: If you believe that you are not good enough, this belief may be backed up by this kind of evidence: my mother always told my that I was not good enough. An alternate explanation may be something like this: When I made mistakes, it was an embarrassment to my mother. She was the one who felt as she was not good enough. I simply adopted this belief.

6. Look for evidence and proof to back up the beneficial belief which you would rather believe. And example would be: How am I good enough? I have had successes (you can list them). I have worth which is inate. The things that I have to say could really benefit other people. You want to look at as much proof and evidence that is possible. Make it your focus.

7. Use affirmations that work. These are affirmations which feel good to think, that you DO believe… NOT affirmations which make you more aware of where you aren’t and feel like a lie because they contradict your own sense of intelligence. Because when you believed for decades that you are not good enough and you say something like “I am good enough”, it sounds to you like a lie. You can use things like: I value myself because I care (if you do believe it).

8. Without immediately taking inventory of your reality (out of distrust of the process), simply giveyour self some time to let the new beliefs take root and ALLOW your reality to change. Soon after you change your thoughts, you’ll be looking at tangible proof in a reality that backs up your new thought to such a degree that the new thought will then become a firm belief. But this time, it will be one which benefits you and your life!

My relationship with my mother – Shadow work

I  never had an ideal relationship with my mother. Our personalities are total opposites. We are so unlike each other. She simply does not understand me. She is more extroverted, I am more introverted. She has millions of friends and gets energized in social situations, I have a very few friends and get energized when I am alone. She is very practical, I am a visionary. She is extremely hyperactive, I work more slowly and ordently.

Since I was little she has always been criticising me. Thanks to her I always believed I was worthless. She thinks that something is wrong with me and I am simply not normal.

When she was younger, she was also interested in spirituality and the new age movement. For 20 years she has been reading all the books on this topic. She was interested in alternative medicine and healthy living. She was the one who got me into spirituality and this kind of things in the first place. But in the past few years her opinion on spirituality has changed. She no longer believes it. She says all of those things do not help at all. She is scared that I will walk in her footsteps. She is scared that I will be fooled as she thinks she was.

It is funny to me how my mother says that these things do not work at all when she is always negatively focused. One of the main ideas of the new age movement is that you manifest yourself what you pay attention to. How can she expect herself to live a happy life with a negative mind? She does not understand that our emotions are our indications of what we are vibrating. She does not know that she is the creator of her own reality. She does not follow any of the basic spiritual principles and then she wonders why aren´t they working. It is obvious to me but she does not believe me. I wish I could help her but she does not accept any help.

Our relationship has slightly improved over the years. She is no longer so harsh on me and I can express my opinion more easily. But still I feel that it could be much better. Sometimes I feel like I hate her. She is a perfect mirror of my own deepest shadows.

So today I have decided to dig deep into this relationship and do some shadow work. I have adopted this process from Teal – The spiritual catalyst. You can learn how to do this process in her Shadow work video. It is called “Finding the suppressed self”.

First of all I am going to list all the qualities about my mother that I dislike so much. This is how I see her from my point of view:

  • She is judgmental and critical of others.
  • She is demanding and controlling.
  • She is the most negative and pessimistic person I know.
  • She always looks for the worst in people.
  • She is cruel and harsh.
  • She is an energy vampire.
  • She likes conflict.
  • She hates herself.
  • She is extremely moody.
  • She thinks everything good in life is over for her.
  • She thinks life is unfair.
  • She believes people are divided into good and bad.
  • She does not believe that dreams can come true.
  • She thinks spiritual methods do not help at all.
  • She believes new age movement is a hoax.
  • She is unreasonable.
  • She must do things her way, she thinks she knows best.
  • She does everything quickly and she stresses everyone around fer.
  • She is disappointed in life and in herself.
  • She gets angry very easily.
  • She cares too much about money.
  • She does not think outside the box.
  • She constantly compares me to other people.
  • She obviously hates me.
  • She is disappointed that she has a daughter like me.
  • She wishes I would be someone else.

Here is a list of what my mother might dislike about me:

  • She is naive.
  • She never expresses any emotions.
  • She lives in an illusion that all people are essentially good and we are all one.
  • She is a chronical worrior.
  • She stresses about everything.
  • She does not see the reality as it is.
  • She is delusional.
  • She is never happy.
  • She hates herself.
  • She is too moral and too kind.
  • She is constantly ill.
  • She catches all the possible diseases.
  • She is incapable of living on her own.
  • She is too depandent on her parents.
  • She is antisocial and has no friends.
  • She does not have a boyfriend and probably never will.
  • She is so weird and unconventional.
  • She is scared of people and talking.
  • She can not defend herself.
  • She cares way too much about others opinions.
  • She does not know how to have fun.
  • She is uptight and too serious.
  • She is constantly learning for school and forgets to live her life.
  • She is too secretive and mysterious.
  • She is cold and inexpressive. She does not talk to me.
  • She hates me.
  • She does not know what life is about.
  • She is a horrible person.
  • She does not even know herself.
  • She is rude and arrogant.
  • She takes her parents care for granted.
  • She cares too much about spiritual stuff.
  • Her head is in the clouds.
  • She does not know how to live in this world.
  • She is lost in life.
  • She has no interests besides angels and fairies.
  • She is stupid and mentally ill.
  • She will not be able to survive on her own.
  • She is stubborn and she does not follow my advice.
  • All of my friends hate her.
  • She does not know how to interact with people.
  • She believes that she creates her own reality which is bullshit.
  • She sees the world through pink colored glasses.
  • She is a terrible procrastinator.
  • She does not get anything done.
  • Her only pleasures in life is internet and eating.
  • She thinks she has friends on the internet but these are no real friends.
  • She will never be able to get a job.
  • She will never finish collage.
  • She is passive and flegmatic.
  • She barely ever leaves her room.
  • She wastes her life completely.
  • She should not have been born.
  • Especially she should not be my daughter.
  • If it was not for her parents, she would not have survived in this world.

Well, if this is what she really thinks about me it is no wonder she worried about me. I look really bad from her point of view.

Now I take the first list and make the worst case scenario of my mothers traits. Here is my list:

  • She tortures others.
  • She points out others flaws and makes them feel like crap.
  • She changes her mood every moment.
  • Everyone hates her.
  • She is like a bomb that can explode every second.
  • She hates her life.
  • She wants to die.
  • She thinks she is the worst mother ever.
  • She hates everyone that is interested in spirituality.
  • She thinks life makes no sense.
  • She believes everyone is egoistical and selfish.
  • She lost her faith in good people.
  • She believes happiness is unachievable.
  • Things must always be done her way.
  • She wants to control my life.
  • She does not believe in my own decisions.
  • She lost all her friends.
  • My parents start hating eachother.
  • She is going to catch an illness and die in pain.
  • She does not accept any help.
  • She only cares for money and material things.
  • She will die in depression.
  • Everyone is going to abandon her.
  • No one can stand her presence.
  • She is never happy.
  • She complains about everything 24/7.
  • Because of her negative focus everything is going to turn out badly for her.

And here is my worst case scenario list:

  • She can not discern between reality and illusion.
  • She believes everything anyone says to her.
  • She can not make any decisions on her own.
  • She ends up with a chronical disease and will be dependant on her parents.
  • She will be incapable to live her life by herself.
  • She will be extremely unssucessful.
  • Everyone is going to use her and fool her.
  • She will never know what friendship is.
  • She will never express her true self.
  • She will never know what fun and excitement means.
  • She will only suffer in life.
  • She will never finish any university.
  • No one likes her.
  • She will never have a boyfriend and children.
  • She will never live on her own and have her own house.
  • We (parents) will be forced to financially support her forever.
  • She will end up in a mental hospital.
  • She will die at young age.
  • She will end up alone and abandoned.
  • Nobody likes her and nobody understands her.
  • She will waste her life completely.

Now I am going to take a tiny dose of my mothers’s traits and see how that could improve my life:

  • If I was a tiny bit controlling, demanding and assertive–> I would stick up for myself. I would be able to ask for things and my needs would be fulfilled. I could set healthy boundaries and feel secure.
  • If I was a tiny bit less serious —> I would have more fun and I would enjoy life more. Other people will feel good around me.
  • If I was a tiny bit unreasonable —> I would know what I need and want, even if in the eyes of others it was stupid, I would stand up for who I am and what matters to me.
  • If I was a tiny bit judgemental and critical —> I would be able to analyze and be more efficient. I would be able to understand how others approach things and adapt. I would not be easily fooled.
  • If I was a tiny bit angry —> I could express myself. I would not keep everything bottled up. I could express how I feel calmly and create healthy boundaries that make me feel comforted.
  • If I was a tiny bit more ‘me knows best’ —> I could share my opinion without fear. I could allow people to take what they want from my help. I could inspire others.

The thing is that at some point in my life I became so scared of what is in the third list (my mothers worst case scenario list), that I have developed a supressed self. I am now out of balance because of this shadow side and resistance that I have towards my mothers traits. My suppressed Identity is the one who is self-expressive, confident and spontanious.

The ways how I supress this identity in my life are:

  • I worry about what other people think.
  • I do what I have to do instead of what I want to do.
  • I am locked into routines.
  • I do not try anything new.
  • I do not express myself.
  • I am insecure about myself.

So what are the ways I could express my supressed identity? Here are a few ideas:

  • I can express what I am feeling by talking.
  • I can try sharing my opinion of certain things. I can start participating in conversations.
  • I can ask for things I need.
  • I can do something for myself that I feel matters to me even though others don’t understand.
  • I could be less serious and live more in the moment.
  • I could talk louder and with more confidence.
  • I could be more cheerful and optimistic.
  • I can do art.

This process was very eye opening for me. Now I understand my mother better. I can see why she is worried about me. If I was in her situation I would probably do the same thing. I have compassion for her now and I no longer feel that strong resistance.

I know this post is very long and probably no one will read it, but the main purpose of this post is my own healing process. It has helped me a lot so I hope it can inspire you to look deep into your own relationships and see what they are telling you about yourself. 🙂

Things I like about my mother:

  • She makes wonderful cakes.
  • She has good sense for beauty.
  • She designs pretty interiors.
  • She can sometimes be nice to people.
  • She cares about her children.
  • She is genuinely worried about me, that is why she gets angry with me so much.