Tag Archive | consciousness

How to gain Confidence

I’m passionate about the topic of confidence and there are so many different aspects to it and so many different levels.

The first point to look at is around your focus. If you feel that you are lacking in confidence, my guess would be that your focus is on what you can’t do, where you failed, and how you feel that you’ve got things wrong. What would happen if you changed your focus? What would happen if you shifted your perspective from where it was into a new one, which you maybe have to your imagination with, but what if you focused in on what you have achieved, things that you have been successful in, and things that you have done? So for example, what if you started to think about all that you’ve achieved in your life from learning to talk, learning to walk, learning to pass an exam, swim, ride a bike, drive a car? The list I am sure is endless of all the things that you really have done. What would happen and how do you think you would feel if that was your focus on a daily basis?

The second aspect to look at is around your language. How are you actually talking to yourself both internally and externally because that’s a real key indicator of how you feel about yourself? If you want to grow your confidence then if you make a mistake and then you’re telling yourself what an idiot you are or how stupid you are.., then really is that going to inspire confidence in you to have another go or even have an attempt at something new? Look at how you’re speaking to yourself, language is so important. Start to use kind language, give yourself a break, and actually be nice to yourself.

Would you really speak to a best friend or a family member or even a child the way you speak to yourself currently? Yet you would probably want them to have confidence in themselves so because you want them to have confidence, you speak kindly to them.

How about if you turn that around and started speaking kindly to yourself? I know the difference that it’s made in my life and I’m sure that if you started to put that into practice you’ll gain even more confidence in yourself, which again is what you want to do, is it not?

My final thing for you to think about is rather than thinking about what’s gone wrong and thinking about the mistakes that you’ve made, think about the lessons that you’ve learnt. Every single day we’ll trip up, fall over, say the incorrect thing, and get something wrong. All of those things are there to help us learn so instead of focusing on getting it wrong and being a bad person, why not stop and at the end of the day ask yourself what have I learnt today? What have I have learnt today, and not only that, how can I use that information in the future? I know that when you learnt to walk as a child you would have fallen over at some point yet you didn’t sit there and stop. What you did is you decided to learn and use the information from falling over to get back up again and have another go, and you use that information to inform your next step. So at the end of every day, take a moment to think about how you can use the information from that day, those lessons, to help you in the future.

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How to give up victim mentality

At some point in life, everyone has had to do something against their will. Everyone has experienced a difficult time when he felt humiliated or betrayed in some way. Many of us have experienced the loss of a loved one, or even of our own health. Some of us have been victims of violence – at home, in school, or in life…
But while some manage to cope with pain, self-pity, anger and guilt, others come to see themselves as a victim. The victim mentality is formed not only as a result of sustained violence or humiliation, but also by the environment. Often people do not recognize and do not even realize that they are acting the victim.
What is the victim mentality?
Seeing yourself as a victim does not necessarily mean that you have been subjected to physical or psychological abuse. A victim is a person, who believes that something or someone is externally controlling his life. Victims see themselves as impotent, believe that external factors control their life, and see life as a wall of insurmountable circumstances.
They feel compelled to do things against their will. They might complain, but they will still do what they do not want to do, thinking that there is no alternative. It seems like that the whole world is against them. Victims always feel dependent on the mercy of external forces and blame them for everything that happens in their world.
The victim mentality can be seen in all areas of our lives:
Relationships: When victims are led to give up their priorities, aspirations, dreams and desires, they lose self-esteem and self-confidence and give up power. Imagine, for example, a man, who gave up the job of his dreams to please his loved ones. He will feel internal resentment that this happened, and anger at a perceived lack of appreciation and gratitude. Even if he feels offended, humiliated or unappreciated in the relationship, rather than take control of his own life, he will instead complain about how he has been treated. In this way, he assumes the role of a victim.
Everyday life: Even in the most minor situations, some people manage to make themselves a victim of circumstance. For example, you might ask a colleague for a small favor – say, getting you a cup of coffee. He might complain terribly, saying that people are freeloaders and lazy and live off of others and so on… In the end he will do you the favor but continue to complain internally about the “injustice.”
But the reality of the situation is this – he has been asked for a favor, and he has to make a choice. He could say – “I’m sorry, I’m not passing by the coffee machine;” he could say he is too busy or he could even say that he forgot. There are many ways to respond. In this case, however, he chooses to feed the feelings of self-sacrifice – “I’m so pitiful, people are always taking advantage of me… ” – This is a victim mentality.
The person with a victim mentality has a habit of complaining about everything – for example, he/she always has to cook, he/she is forced to work for that terrible boss, traffic is always awful… These complaints are hiding something – that he/she waits and hopes for someone else to fix things. The person doesn’t realize that it was all the result of their own choices.
Often, people with a victim mentality will not say anything directly to the friend, who manipulates them or to the boss, who insults and humiliates them. Instead, they go to someone else to complain and to vent their anger with dramatic tales about their rude and arrogant boss, or their selfish and ungrateful friend. People, who see themselves as a victim of circumstance are always complaining and whining. Rather than taking political action, they vilify political leaders and blame them for the problems in society.
Victims are constantly asking WHY: “Why me? Why are people are so evil? Why won’t the boss give me a raise? Why did he/she leave me?” As they look for answers to these questions, they torment themselves and their resulting self-pity only reinforces their identity as a victim. The question they should ask themselves is: ” Why did this happen now? What can I learn from this situation? How can I avoid this in the future?”
How can you give the victim mentality?
First, it is important to understand why we take on this mindset – what benefits does it bring?
The victim mentality brings :
Attention – when we are in the victim position, we get attention, sympathy and support from people.
When we are a victim, there is no need to take risks or responsibility.
Being a victim gives us an excuse to explain our life circumstances. It is an excuse for the fact that we have not achieved anything. We continue thinking that other people have held us back, they haven’t seen our potential, etc.!
Sometimes being a victim makes you feel part of a community. This community grows out of the very sense that they – the others – are ” bad” and you’re on the “good ” side. Your anger about the injustice of their speeches gives a dramatic and even heroic sense to your suffering.
“Poor Me” gives you a sense identity (albeit false). It makes you feel special. This gives you a passive power that calls people to give you attention and pity.
To be able to part with your victim mentality, you must give up the benefits that it brings.
You should also know that creating a new pattern of thinking and behavior takes time, effort and discomfort. Furthermore, when you first begin to change, you may feel unstable, insecure and vulnerable…
But you have to go through this period if you are to regain power and change your life!
Are you ready to give up the victim mentality and live with confidence?
If the answer is “yes,” you can start taking the first steps now:
1. Release the pain of the past.
To overcome your victim mentality, you must release the pain of all those past experiences, buried deep inside. You need to release negative feelings – fear, guilt, hate, anger, self-pity – because they keep you in captivity and reassert your identity as a victim. Forgive those who have hurt you. As I have written elsewhere, forgiveness does not mean justifying the actions of others. It is a purely internal act of letting go of painful feelings. Only when you forgive will you be free.
2. Take responsibility for your life.
The main thing you need to do to regain power is to take responsibility for your life – for the feelings, thoughts, and reactions you choose to experience. Realize that the complaining, unhappiness, and blaming does not solve your problems. Think about what you personally can do and take action.
3. Remember that you always have a choice – we can always, in every situation, choose how to react. At any moment we can regain power by making the right choice.
4. Change your vocabulary.
Change the words in your vocabulary that make you feel like a victim. For example, instead of ” should,” think ” choose to;” instead of “I hope,” say “I will;” instead of “There’s no way out,” think “I know there’s a way and I will find it;” instead of ” I can’t” say “I will try.”
5. Learn to say “no.”
People who have a victim mentality, often have difficulty saying “no.”
6. Change your attitude.
Change the focus – from what you don’t have or what makes you feel wronged – to what you do have and your strengths. Keep a notebook, listing everything good in your life and practice being grateful about it.
7. Taking small steps outside of your comfort zone.
Begin with just one small step outside your comfort zone, and you will begin to change from a victim into a confident and self-respecting person.
The floor is yours – are you ready to gain more awareness as to when you are slipping into the ‘victim mentality’? What do you usually do when you catch yourself doing it? How do you take responsibility for your own creation? You can share your insights by joining the conversation in the comment section below :)

The God spark

Today I feel like I have uncovered the secret to all relationships :). I know, it sounds monumental, and to me it feels monumental, because it solves all of my problems.

Inside of all of us, there is a pure little seed. I call it “the God spark”. In this life, we each have something so precious. If we were just to witness it in each other. Really witness it. For example that person at the shopping market today. What if you looked them in the eye and said: “How are you today?” Just connect with that spark inside each other. Because that God spark inside of me, inside of you, inside of all of us, it wants to see itself. It wants to witness itself, it wants to talk to itself, it wants to feel itself, it wants to touch itself. It wants to connect to itself.

I can’t tell you how many times in relationships, I cared much more about myself than about other people. I worried about what they are going to think about me, what if they won’t like me, what if they think something is wrong with me… I was so lost in my own fears, I didn’t really listen to the other person, I didn’t really care who they are and how are they feeling. I only cared about how I look in this conversation.

But I have realized that even if they don’t like me, how does it matter? The truth is that if a person dislikes me, it only means that this person isn’t in touch with their own God spark. Someone who is in touch with their God spark will see nothing but infinite potential and goodness in another person. So if someone doesn’t like me, it says nothing about me, but everything about them! People will love me, people will hate me, but none of it will ever have anything to do with me!

The most important thing to do is to become more aware of what you’re seeing in others. That’s the thing you want to be aware of.
Don’t worry about what other people are seeing in you. Don’t worry about the love they’re giving you, or the love they’re not giving you. Let your awareness be about what you’re putting out. Let your awareness be about how much you’re loving.

Don’t be running around saying: “Who loves me or who doesn’t love me? You could rather be saying: “Who do I love and what is it about you, that I love?’”

There’s only one of us here. The great cosmic joke is that we think there are many of us, when really, there is just one. 🙂

Bashar Quotes

This is a collection of my favorite quotes from Bashar. Enjoy! 🙂


“Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics.”

“Circumstances do not determine your state of being. Your state of being determines your circumstances.”

“There is nowhere to go but here. Every change simply becomes another version of now.”

“The quickest path to enlightenment is to simply lighten up!”

“The only reason the feeling perpetuates, is because you don’t own it.”

“You are so unconditionally loved and supported that you are allowed to feel unsupported and not loved.”

“If you have writer’s block, write about having writer’s block, and you will no longer have it.”

“All circumstances can serve double duty- nothing has built in meaning.”

“That which exists cannot become non-existent. You will never cease to exist.”

“Relax into the idea of your indestructibility.”

“Circumstances don’t matter, only state of being matters.”

“You are a non-physical consciousness that is experiencing physical reality.”

“You attract your life experiences through the interaction of your strongest beliefs, emotions and actions.”

“You create the past and the future from the here and now.”

“Circumstances do not M-A-T-T-E-R. Do not MATERIALIZE things. Only your state of being MATTERS. Brings energy into MATTER. Materializes things.”

“Excitement tells you what you are best capable of doing. If something excites you, it excites you for a reason. There are not Extraneous creations, no accidental interactions.”

“What you have thought all the time as Fairy Tales is actually the way life is.”

“Do not rely on the outer world as your measuring stick for your own spiritual growth, rely on your response to the outer world to determine how much you have grown.”

“By invalidating yourself, you remove the stepping stone and have nowhere to go. Stop comparing yourself to where you think you’re supposed to be and start validating yourself where you are!”

“If you still react the same way to an old circumstance, you haven’t grown. It has nothing to do with whether or not that circumstance should be in your life anymore.”

“Every piece of art is a mirror and serves the function of reflectivity to expose to you and reveal to you more of who you are.”

“You are a dream of the infinite creation.”

“Begin with Self Valuation. For many people the most difficult thing is learning to value themselves.”

“Miracles are not the exception to the rule.. They are the natural, true order of the things.”

“Doubt is a 100% trust in a belief you don’t prefer. You are never really actually in doubt, you are always completely trusting in something. The question is what do you trust in?”

“Everything is in Perfect Timing; you do not have to rush things along. You are an Eternal being; you are right in step with the Transformation. What’s your hurry?”

“Everything already exists and you are just shifting into another reality, but you are doing it through a way that gives you an experience that you are re-growing the consciousness.”

“Nothing is too simple or too good to be true, and nothing is too wondrous or too ecstatic to be yours – nothing. You deserve all you can conceive of – because you exist! And if you exist, then obviously All That Is, the Infinite Creator believes you deserve to exist.”

“Recognize that you have chosen your purpose in being in this society at this time on your planet. Know that if you were not going to make a difference, you would not be here. As you begin to see the idea of the connection of everything in your society as it relates to you, and as you relate to it, you will begin to understand that each and every individual makes a difference within the society as a whole.”

“There is only the understanding of the thing that needs to be taught to every child on the planet, and that is the knowledge that every single individual on this planet is already powerful as he or she needs to be to create any reality desired, without having to hurt yourself, or anyone else, to get it. That’s how powerful you are.”

“The BEST possible version your PHYSICAL MIND is capable of imagining is the LEAST possible version your HIGHER MIND can imagine. So don’t stop the higher mind by saying, “That’s the best I can get.” Let the higher mind give you more than you believe you could get. Because if you insist that the picture that the physical mind gets is the best that can happen, you are actually limiting what might even be a more amazing way the higher mind could bring it about.”

“You are always learning and always teaching. Everyone is an equal teacher, and equal learner. It makes you an equal sharer. And you learn by doing – that is how you learn most quickly – by doing the thing you wish to learn about, in whatever way you are capable of doing it first.”

“How can you be afraid to feel? Isn’t fear a feeling? If you’re feeling fear, you’ve felt one of the most negative emotions there is to feel. Everything else should be a piece of cake. Feel good, feel happy, feel healthy, feel loved, feel abundant, feel creative, feel compassionate, feel knowledgeable, feel powerful.”

“You seem to have problems only because you are misusing time. You believe that the problem comes first, and that time must elapse before it can be worked out, but do not see the problem and the answer as simultaneous in their occurrence at the quantum mechanics level.”

“It’s the excitement in the simple things that tells you what simple things are actually connected to the bigger things that excite you. And will actually get you there in what may seem to be a round about manner, but by following the excitement is actually the shortest, fastest, straightest path.”

What Is Spirituality?

I like the idea of “spirituality”, but I often find the word “spiritual” irritating. I’m a spiritual person, but I hear it used so often by people I don’t like, that I refrain from using the word.

Somewhere along the way, the word “spiritual” has become synonymous with supernatural. And this is the problem with labeling experiences which are alive and wonderful, with words that are inanimate, dead and open to interpretation.

The concept of spirituality can narrow our thinking rather than extend it. All too often we make certain things spiritual, and other things “un-spiritual”. For instance, can reading be a spiritual experience? Can having a shower be a spiritual experience? Can giving birth to a baby, or dancing or eating be a spiritual experience? It’s not the experience that is innately spiritual – anything can be spiritual deep down. Rather, our perceptions and states of mind judge something as being spiritual or not.

Being a “spiritual” person is commonly associated with being a “religious person” – but this isn’t always the case. Spirituality has no absolute definition, but generally it is perceived as having a great sensitivity to life, this includes: to other people, to nature, to animals and to our own existences.

Spirituality, the way I interpret it, is the search for meaning, purpose and direction, the journey of self-discovery and self-understanding. It is a desire to become your best possible self, and to transcend who you are, or who you think you are, through either a higher power or our interconnectedness as living beings.

If spirituality is to find purpose in life and to become the best possible people we can be, the first step is to figure out where we currently are. How can we go anywhere unless we first know where we are? This is why we so often find ourselves going around in circles, making the same mistakes over and over again.

Many people go through life without stopping, without questioning and without listening. We unconsciously go from one moment to the next without attempting to cultivate a new way of doing things, or a new way of looking at every experience we have in our fleeting lives.

But how do we find our own spiritual paths? There are several ways. For starters, we can keep an open mind to experience things we may have otherwise rejected with our ‘old’ perceptions of life. We can begin questioning our current belief systems, our current ambitions, dreams and ideas of who we think we are, or should be. And most importantly, we can enhance our awareness of life and of the present moment, by accepting moment to moment without any judgement, resistance or comparison to ideals or memories, that which is presented to us.

Awareness isn’t something very difficult to aspire to. Even eating can become a spiritual experience when we deliberately pay attention to our senses. The taste, the smell, the sight, and the consistency of a meal are all things that go unnoticed to us when we eat while being distracted by talking to someone, or watching the TV.

By being aware of such small things from time to time, we are much more in touch with what is happening in the ‘now’ internally and externally, and thus, we become much more clear about the path we are currently on, and whether we want to be taking the path or not. Spirituality is our Existential GPS.

To the unaware, “dreamlike” mind, the perception of life is one that jumps from one distraction to the next, always touching the surface and never quite feeling any solid ground of significance, or of meaningfulness and wholeness.

This background noise that is always somewhere in our heads can be calmed down in many different ways. For instance, exercise, getting lost in an artistic creation by submergence in the present moment, and meditation, all serve to dissect the concept we’ve built and called reality.

Meditation, for example, can slowly allow us to gain awareness by helping us to become an observer of our emotions and thoughts. It can change our perceptions of life from the subjectively unaware and reactive, to the objectively focused, in control, and aware. This awareness, this understanding of our inner minds, will remove obstacles, discover energies and consequently, help to create paths in our lives.

Things I love about myself

To be confident enough to acknowledge not only one’s own weaknesses, but also one’s own strengths is admirable. It is also necessary for success. It is a crucial part of self-awareness. All too often we think that the people who are self-aware are the ones who are acutely aware of their foibles.  But he, who is aware of his foibles, may be unaware of his many wonders.  And a person who is unaware of his positive aspects is just as lacking in the area of self-awareness as a person who is unaware of his negative aspects.

This is a sad world that we live in if self-deprecation makes someone “good”. And high self-regard makes someone “bad”. It is no wonder that the root of so many problems here on earth is the lack of self-love. We are confusing self denigration with humility. To regard yourself highly is not necessarily to regard others as low.

I do not think that self-deprecation is an admirable quality. It upsets me that it is the foundation of being liked by others.  Women are the worst when it comes to this. I have observed that if you announce to a woman what you like about yourself, they will look at you with an heir of judgmental disgust. Whereas if you announce to a woman what you hate about yourself, they will rush to your aid by complimenting you and establishing rapport. The lesson we females learn when we are very young, is that the way to get along with other women is to put ourselves down.

Do not mistake self love for narcissism.  It is important to focus on things that cause you to feel good about yourself. Your relationship with yourself is your only guaranteed lifelong relationship.

I am going to make a list of things that I love and appreciate about myself. And I encourage everyone to do the same.

  • I am kind.
  • I am loving.
  • I am adorable.
  • I am inspiring.
  • I am curious.
  • I am intelligent and wise.
  • I am committed.
  • I am genuine.
  • I am original.
  • I am generous.
  • I am fascinating.
  • I am a visionary.
  • I am extremely deep.
  • I care.
  • I am brave.
  • I am sensitive.
  • I am creative.
  • I am compassionate.
  • I am idealist.
  • I am romantic.
  • I empower others
  • I love to laugh.
  • I am a good writer.
  • I am a good listener.
  • I am extremely gracious.
  • I am feminine.
  • I can admit my mistakes
  • I have good taste.
  • I am good at languages.
  • I am good at singing.
  • I am a good hearted person.
  • I am physically beautiful.
  • I am a good friend.
  • I can find beauty in anything.
  • I am interested in life.
  • I am not afraid of the shadow aspects of myself or other people.
  • I am dedicated to decreasing suffering on this planet.
  • I am dedicated to being as conscious and self aware as I possibly can be.
  • I crave to see other people and beings happy and thriving.
  • I can explain well a lot of things.
  • I love being a woman.
  • Bad experiences make me stronger (I am able to learn from them).
  • I focus on my true desires.
  • I am a shining example of how one can change.
  • I am open to new things and new ideas.
  • My connection with the source energy is mystical.
  • I have a bright future ahead of me.
  • I know more secrets about the universe than most people do.
  • I have a great appreciation for life.
  • I am committed to living consciously.
  • I have great imagination.
  • I am willing to say I am sorry.
  • I am willing to admit I was wrong.
  • I am able to experience oneness.
  • I am a stream of consciousness conscious of itself.
  • I am a joyful expression of source energy.
  • I am worthy and deserve love and happiness.
  • I am all and all is me.

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What is the purpose of life?

Today I have had an interesting conversation about the meaning of life with my family members. This conversation inspired me to think about my own ideas and beliefs that I have about life and existence in general.

We were discussing if life has a meaning and purpose. My family members said that we do not know this. That no one really knows and if you think you know it, you might be wrong. This is interesting to me because I spent so many years figuring it out and I think I know the answer.

From the teachings I have studied over the years I have created my own philosophy, my own “religion” based on information that resonates with me. The answer to the question if life has a purpose would according to myself be this: I do believe that life has a purpose. I do not believe in accidents of any kind. I believe that the purpose of life is the expansion of the universe. We, in our physical lives, are a thought which Source (which we are an extension of) thought into existence. We are a thought which now… thinks. And it is our thoughts (which hold a vibration of desire) which inform Source what to become the vibrational equivalent of. Evolution is the natural byproduct of life.

But at the same time I believe that life has no meaning. What I mean by this is that no situation has a built in meaning. All the circumstances are neutral. They can be experiences in both ways – positive and negative. But the meaning you give it, the definition you assign to any given neutral situation is exactly what determines the effect you will get out of that situation. They can create for you a negative or a positive reflection that is solely determined by what attitude and belief system and definition you assign to that situation. So no matter what anyone else’s intention in any given circumstance might be toward you, if you assign only a positive meaning to that circumstance and situation then you will only receive a positive effect out of that circumstance no matter what anyone else experiences.

Some people disagree with me. They say that I have no evidence that supports these claims. How can I know that it is true? The reason that I believe in this is because of all the philosophies that I have studied and researched, this makes most sense to me. It resonates with me. My intuition tells me it is so. It is natural to me. I do not follow these ideas like an ideology. I think of myself as an open minded person. I question my beliefs regularly. I might be wrong.

But what if these ideas are not just a philosophy? What if these are laws of the universe? What if this is in fact physics?

Nobody here on earth questions if gravity is real. We all know that it is. We experience it in our daily lifes. Nobody also questions the fact if the air is real. We all know it is real. So what if these what we call philosophical ideas are laws of physics too? I do believe that they are.

For example, I believe without a shadow of a doubt that consciousness creates reality. For me it is an undeniable fact. I think it has been proven many times in our world. There have been experiments in which thousands of people were focusing their thoughts on a city.  The results of these group meditations are overwhelming. It has been scientifically proven that positive focus can decrease crime, violence, accidents, and illness. You can do more research on this when you google “The Maharishi Effect”. Another example would be the effect that thoughts and words (vibrations in general) have on water crystals. I think many of you are familiar with Masaru Emoto and his fantastic research. These are just two examples, I am sure that there are many many others. In fact, quantum physics says, that the universe we live in appears material but it’s not. It is Divine Intelligence expressing as a physical universe that’s aligned with our thoughts.

I would like to know your opinion on this. Do you believe that life has a meaning and purpose? If so, what do you think it is and why?

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