Tag Archive | experience

What Is Spirituality?

I like the idea of “spirituality”, but I often find the word “spiritual” irritating. I’m a spiritual person, but I hear it used so often by people I don’t like, that I refrain from using the word.

Somewhere along the way, the word “spiritual” has become synonymous with supernatural. And this is the problem with labeling experiences which are alive and wonderful, with words that are inanimate, dead and open to interpretation.

The concept of spirituality can narrow our thinking rather than extend it. All too often we make certain things spiritual, and other things “un-spiritual”. For instance, can reading be a spiritual experience? Can having a shower be a spiritual experience? Can giving birth to a baby, or dancing or eating be a spiritual experience? It’s not the experience that is innately spiritual – anything can be spiritual deep down. Rather, our perceptions and states of mind judge something as being spiritual or not.

Being a “spiritual” person is commonly associated with being a “religious person” – but this isn’t always the case. Spirituality has no absolute definition, but generally it is perceived as having a great sensitivity to life, this includes: to other people, to nature, to animals and to our own existences.

Spirituality, the way I interpret it, is the search for meaning, purpose and direction, the journey of self-discovery and self-understanding. It is a desire to become your best possible self, and to transcend who you are, or who you think you are, through either a higher power or our interconnectedness as living beings.

If spirituality is to find purpose in life and to become the best possible people we can be, the first step is to figure out where we currently are. How can we go anywhere unless we first know where we are? This is why we so often find ourselves going around in circles, making the same mistakes over and over again.

Many people go through life without stopping, without questioning and without listening. We unconsciously go from one moment to the next without attempting to cultivate a new way of doing things, or a new way of looking at every experience we have in our fleeting lives.

But how do we find our own spiritual paths? There are several ways. For starters, we can keep an open mind to experience things we may have otherwise rejected with our ‘old’ perceptions of life. We can begin questioning our current belief systems, our current ambitions, dreams and ideas of who we think we are, or should be. And most importantly, we can enhance our awareness of life and of the present moment, by accepting moment to moment without any judgement, resistance or comparison to ideals or memories, that which is presented to us.

Awareness isn’t something very difficult to aspire to. Even eating can become a spiritual experience when we deliberately pay attention to our senses. The taste, the smell, the sight, and the consistency of a meal are all things that go unnoticed to us when we eat while being distracted by talking to someone, or watching the TV.

By being aware of such small things from time to time, we are much more in touch with what is happening in the ‘now’ internally and externally, and thus, we become much more clear about the path we are currently on, and whether we want to be taking the path or not. Spirituality is our Existential GPS.

To the unaware, “dreamlike” mind, the perception of life is one that jumps from one distraction to the next, always touching the surface and never quite feeling any solid ground of significance, or of meaningfulness and wholeness.

This background noise that is always somewhere in our heads can be calmed down in many different ways. For instance, exercise, getting lost in an artistic creation by submergence in the present moment, and meditation, all serve to dissect the concept we’ve built and called reality.

Meditation, for example, can slowly allow us to gain awareness by helping us to become an observer of our emotions and thoughts. It can change our perceptions of life from the subjectively unaware and reactive, to the objectively focused, in control, and aware. This awareness, this understanding of our inner minds, will remove obstacles, discover energies and consequently, help to create paths in our lives.

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I’m too hard on myself

I have noticed that most of the time I behave very unlovingly towards myself. I am too harsh on myself. I do not appreciate my successes and I put myself down for everything that I think has gone wrong. I have the tendency to only pay attention to what I consider my flaws than my strengths.

I place extremely high standards on myself. I expect myself to be above it all. I feel like I should have already mastered everything. Whenever I feel negative emotion I start to think that something must have gone terribly wrong. I resist negative emotion and think it has no positive meaning. Therefore the negative emotion sticks around and I feel like crap constantly.

I especially noticed this tendency of mine while I’m studying. I usually  don’t enjoy it and I force myself to study. I tell myself I should be studying. But at the same time I’m avoiding to study at all costs. That means I wake up and tell myself I’m going to start studying. But after a few minutes I get bored and I find myself on the internet. I know I shouldn’t be doing this and I feel guilty for it but I still continue with distracting myself. After what is usually a few hours I go back to studying. Then I get bored and again I’m on the internet. I don’t enjoy it as much as I would because I constantly feel like I am betraying myself and I am wasting my life. At the end of the day I feel totally horrible about myself. I know I have done nothing productive all day and I am ruining my life.

But it’s not always so. Sometimes I study hard (usually short before the exam). The problem is that I am a horrible perfectionist. I never think I have done enough. I always tell myself I could do better. That’s why I usually get best grades and still I am not satisfied. It’s like I can’t appreciate myself. I definitely should stop with this kind of behavior. Especially when my ultimate goal is to love myself.

From this moment on I promise to myself that I will never be too hard on myself again.

I promise that I will study effectively and I won’t be using any distractions. I will set myself a time that I will study and after It’s over I am going to allow myself to do anything that I want. And I won’t have to feel guilty about myself while having fun. That’s going to increase my productivity and I’m going to feel good about myself.

I also promise to myself that I will appreciate each one of my achievements. I will stop paying attention to all my “failures” and I will look at my successes. Every time I successfully learn something I will be proud of myself. After every single passed exam I am going to reward myself. I will do something extremely self loving.

At the end of each day I will write into my diary all the thing that I am proud I did. I will write everything that I appreciate about myself and my day.

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