Tag Archive | personality type

Being an INFJ

Recently I have been doing  research on being an INFJ. If you dont know what INFJ means, its one of the 16 MBTI personality types. You can find a very detailed description of an INFJ here. There is also a great video that explains our personality perfectly:

And here is a video called “Pure INFJness” which is very accurate:

I even created an entire tumblr blog dedicated to INFJ personality type: http://perksofbeinginfj.tumblr.com/. I post here things which are relatable to INFJs. It is a glipse into our minds.

The information I have found during my research is definitely relatable to my own life. When I read these posts and articles I am literally reading with an intense jaw-dropped face. Every description of an INFJ personality is me in a nutshell. 

I have decided to contribute to many other posts other INFJs have written about their lives. This one is about the advantages and disadvantages of being an INFJ. Like any other personality type, it has its positives and its negatives. I definitely enjoy being an INFJ, I wouldnt change my personality type even if I could. Its not always easy to have such a rare and widely misunderstood personality, but our lives are definitely not boring.

I hope this information will be helpful for you, if youre an INFJ you will most likely be able to relate to most of the points and if youre another personality type, I hope this post will help you to understand us better. 

What I love about being an INFJ:

  • I am intensely self aware. Because I am constantly thinking, analyzing each one of my thoughts and discovering all of my motivations, I know my strengths and weaknesses. I like myself more every year because I know myself more every year and the more I get to know who I am, the more control over I have in making myself who I want to be. If I couldn’t talk and argue with myself every waking hour, I would go truly insane. I love being able to explore myself, my motivations and desires honestly. And obviously I like doing it to other people as well.
  • I love how friendly I am. I just like being nice to people. I love how I can surprise every day people with my kindness – as if it’s nothing they’ve ever seen before.
  • I love my ability to think the way I do. I like that I think analytically and I like that I think creatively.
  • I love my imagination. It’s endless.
  • I love my intuition. I rely on it more than on anything else. And it never disappoints me. Sometimes I feel like I’m psychic.
  • I love my understanding of people and being empathetic enough to truly understand and help them. Being able to see through “fake” or untruthful people and their lies. I love how I can meet someone and instantly know if this person is worth getting to know or not.
  • I can always see right through situations and most people to the core of things. I have great radar and gut instincts.
  • I love it that people are drawn to me and feel good to tell me about their deepest feelings and concerns, even though we may have just met. I love to listen to people, to guide them and help them.
  • I love my ability to listen, and not just listen… but completely absorb what others are saying.
  • I like my camouflage ability to blend in with different groups of people.
  • I like my ability to form lasting relationships and deep bonds with people.
  • I actually enjoy being a perfectionist – everything being neat and orderly is relaxing. I like my capacity to do and finish something if I put my mind to it.
  • I love my honesty. I can’t seem to be anything but honest. I simply can’t lye. Maybe sometimes I don’t tell the whole truth when I know that the other person is not prepared to hear it, but I always mean what I say.
  • I have the power to motivate anyone to strive for their goals, if they’re children, people my age, older people, whatever… I have become extremely good to debate every part of why they aren’t living their life. Being able to see the potential in others and even myself is really inspiring and when people tell me about their dreams, goals and future plans I can’t help but smile and usually get more excited than they are about it.
  • I love my own company. I like the peace I can find in being alone. Thinking back there’s literally never been a time when I’m alone where I’ve wished that someone else was with me. I hardly ever feel lonely because I live so much in my head.
  • I love my ability to express myself well through writing.
  • I love my dedication to make the world a brighter place. I love how excited I am to make a difference.

What is not so great about being an INFJ:

  • I feel everything those around me feel. This is a blessing and a curse at the same time. It’s not even empathy. I literally feel exactly what you feel. Even if you are trying to hide it or don’t express your feelings, somehow I still know. The weird part is that I don’t have to be in the physical presence of someone to feel their emotions. I can hear a news story, I can read a book, I can watch a movie. I can’t stand horror movies because of how strongly and realistically I feel the emotions of the people on the screen. I avoid the news. I block out negative stories people tell. I skip magazine articles. It’s not that I am trying to be ignorant to the pains in the world, but I physically can’t handle the excess of emotions.
  • I can’t control my facial expressions. Every emotion I feel is spread obviously across my face or it shows on my body language. It can prove to be extremely embarrassing sometimes.
  • I have no sense of how others see me. This is a paradox because I can read people very well. I tend to know who to trust or who to dodge. I can tell if someone is nervous, concerned, intimidated even if they are trying to hide it. The weird thing is that I literally have no clue if someone likes me or what they could be thinking of me at any given moment. Its very frustrating. Just imagine being able to gauge someone just by looking at them and then looking in the mirror and seeing a giant question mark. That’s what it’s like. My life’s joy and entertainment is from observing and figuring people out and the person I am supposed to know the best is the one that puzzles me most. Ah the irony.
  • I am very sensitive to negative words and criticism. I know I feel as though I have failed somehow or I am distorted if I am criticized. I have been working on trying to not take things so hard.
  • I think the things most people talk about are boring. I’m always testing people to see if I can talk to them about the things that really matter to me (usually I can’t). I’d rather have one person in my life who gets me than dozens of people who just know me. I know my friends better than they know themselves (but I can’t tell them that). I’d rather use conversation to talk to someone about their true thoughts and feelings (but this doesn’t happen at group dinners or parties, so I avoid these things).
  • I’m a perfectionist and I obsess over little things, like how the decorations in my room look or what clothes I should wear. I spend more time on projects than I let on to other people.
  • And probably the worst thing about being an INFJ is not being understood. Since we are such a rare personality type, other people cant relate to us. We are often describes as weird, complex, paradoxical, too deep… While part of me enjoys being somewhat of a puzzle that no one will ever figure out, sometimes I just wish people could just understand certain things about me. For instance, everyone thinks I am lonely because I would rather sit home and read a nice book, then go out and socialize. Everyone thinks I am depressed because I don’t walk around with a mile-wide grin on my face. There are many misunderstandings that we INFJs must face. 
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My personality type – INFJ

I did the Meyers Briggs personality test last year and I discovered that I am an INFJ. I did the test at least 10 times on different sites and I always got the same result. When I first read the description I was totally surprised how accurate it was. I could not describe myself better. I always felt like I was strange and no one is like me. Discovering that there is a group of people who think and act like me made me feel less lonely.

I finally appreciate my personality and see it in a good way. Here is the most accurate analysis I found on the internet:

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The INFJ is a deep, complex type, seldom seen and little understood.  As introverts, they are content to keep inside their inner world, intriguing those who try to probe their gentle but inscrutable exterior.  Is there a way into this inner realm?  Perhaps, perhaps not; when it comes to relationships, INFJs choose quality over quantity.  They prefer to build close, intimate bonds with a chosen few and invest deeply in this select group of people.

While INFJs may be seen as withdrawn or even secretive, the truth is that they care quite a bit about what others think of them–sometimes too much.  They take criticism very personally, and may be unintentionally hurt by others.  When this happens, an INFJ may hold their hurt inside and let it stew, never really expressing how they feel.  Instead of confronting the person who hurt them, they may take the less painful route and simply avoid the other person or even cut them off entirely.  Other people may see the INFJ as “too sensitive,” while the INFJ for their part sees others as “unsensitive.”

Like other NF Idealists, the INFJs are committed to a better tomorrow.  Quiet but determined, INFJs will continuously press to make everyone’s life a little bit (or a lot) better.  An INFJ may write an article to spread awareness of domestic violence, or volunteer at an animal shelter.  People-focused and possibility-oriented, they see a brighter world in the distance and work to make it a reality.  It is their Intuition, focused on ideas, possibilities and the future, and their Feeling, focused on building harmonious relationships, that drives this world-reforming engine.

With their tendency to hope for better things, INFJs may be perceived as overly idealistic, stubbornly principled, or “naive.”  It is true that INFJs can benefit from the input of other types in their attempts to reach their goals, but in general their idealism is a good thing for a cause.  Their sincere belief in their vision serves as an inspiration to more cynical folks who would otherwise say, “It’ll never change” or “this is hopeless” and give up.  And of course, those who never try, never succeed.  With a pinch of practical wisdom and knowhow from other types, an INFJ can cover their weak points and make an effective agent of change in the world.

It is difficult to broadly classify INFJs as either right-brained or left-brained since they utilize both sides of the brain with equal adeptness. INFJs are both creative and responsible, artistic and logical, spiritual and scientific, intuitive and analytic.

INFJs grow up feeling “different” from their peers. The more pronounced their Introversion and Intuition, the more estranged they are likely to feel. Young INFJs also feel misunderstood by their elders, who can be quick to ignore or dismiss their precocious insights and observations. If given unsympathetic circumstances, INFJs may come to feel isolated or rejected rather early in life.

INFJs are “old souls.” They grow up feeling far wiser than would be predicted by their chronological age. Some may experience themselves as wiser than their teachers or parents. They may take on the role of counseling and advising their friends and siblings, or even their adult family members, from an extraordinarily young age.

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Having discovered the benefits of their Introverted Intuition (Ni) quite early in life, INFJs grow to trust its judgments and insights. Their Ni often works through dreams or premonitions that turn out to be startlingly prescient. While others may at first be skeptical of INFJ’s powers of insight or foresight, many will come to see them as psychic or prophetic, or at least highly perceptive.

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Because of their strong powers of intuition, many INFJs report feeling like aliens in the world. One INFJ described her experience as almost a constant feeling of deja vu, since her intuition is constantly foreseeing the future before it unfolds. Other INFJs report feelings of disembodiment, as though their body is independently moving through space while they watch from without. The fact is that many INFJs experience the world and their bodies in radically different ways than other types. It is therefore not uncommon for INFJs or others to question their sanity.

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INFJs see two people in everyone. They see the public persona, the outer shell, that everyone else sees. But they don’t stop there. Their Se and Fe functions pick up subtle non-verbal cues which are then synthesized and interpreted by their Ni. This provides them with information about an individual’s inner world that is completely missed by other types. Because of their keen perceptiveness, INFJs are rarely fooled by facades or fakery. They can readily see beyond appearances and apprehend an individual’s deeper motives and intentions, including any underlying ego issues. In fact, INFJs can often see the truth about people more clearly than those people can see it in themselves. It is no wonder that many INFJs can make a decent living by hanging a “Psychic” sign on their front door.

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Growing out of their distrust of first-blush appearances, INFJs are reluctant to trust majority opinion. They are often the last to read a bestseller, feeling that if everyone else (i.e., the majority of whom are prone to being fooled by appearances) thinks it is good, it probably is not worth their time. Like INTs, however, INFJs can be suckers for a good conspiracy theory, appealing to their sense that “most things are not what they seem.”

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A misconception about INFJs is that because they prefer Feeling they are less likely to be interested in intellectual endeavors. Nothing could be farther from the truth. In fact, some of the most intellectually-inclined people I know are INFJs. They rival and resemble INTs in their level of openness and hunger for new ideas and perspectives. In some regards, they may actually eclipse INTs with regard to intellectual openness, readily appreciating both science and literature, fiction and nonfiction, poetry and prose.

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INFJs often think by way of images. The visual nature of their minds is germane to their creativity, ingenuity, and ability to generate and wield metaphors. While other types are thinking in words or concepts, INFJs understand through “seeing.” Their Ni functions as a proverbial bridge between the conscious and subconscious mind. And since the subconscious is filled with primitive images, it is no wonder that INFJs swim in a sea of vivid dreams and imagery.

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INFJs also tend to be purists and classicists. Many enjoy collecting antiques, historical artifacts, old first edition books, rare art, or anything that satisfies their thirst for what they perceive as pure or classic works. For similar reasons, they may find themselves captivated by a certain period in history, a specific genre of music, or a handpicked selection of actors or writers. In selecting a novel, would far prefer a known classic to a new bestseller. Similarly, if they are going to wear shoes (which according to recent research, most INFJs do), they want the shoes to be of high quality and a classic, rather than trendy style. If selecting artwork for display in their home, they most would opt for an original over a print.

Despite their refined tastes, INFJs are typically not pretentious or excessively serious individuals. They regularly enjoy spending time with other people, listening to music, and watching movies (especially “classics”). Perhaps more than anything, INFJs love spending time engrossed in meaningful conversation. Because of their verbosity and enjoyment of others’ company, they can easily be mistaken for Extraverts.

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Many INFJs struggle with bouts of depression, which may relate to any number of things. They may, for instance, get depressed when they feel their creative inspiration has left them. Or, because of their otherworldliness, they may struggle with feeling deeply alone and misunderstood. Depression may also stem from feeling dissatisfied in their careers or relationships. They may dream of having a beautiful home adorned with beautiful things, but feel stuck in a low-paying job that they are reluctant to quit because of a poor economy.

For INFJs, expressing themselves through their Fe is critical to their psychological and physical health and well-being. Even if doing so does not provide them with immediate solutions to the problem at hand, they tend to feel better once they have expressed their feelings, whether through words or tears. This is especially important for the mates or friends of INFJs to recognize. Namely, INFJs are usually not looking for others to solve their problem, but only to offer support, empathy, and reassurance. Without such an outlet, INFJs can begin to feel isolated and depressed, turning to their inner fantasy world as a means of escape. And while fantasizing may seem helpful in the short-term, it usually makes the real world seem even less tolerable and can exacerbate existing frustrations toward life.

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Even if not to the same extent as EFJs, INFJs can be warm, welcoming, and endearing. They genuinely want to please and help others, working to ensure that people are getting along and are well cared for. They tend to be loyal, giving, and self-sacrificing. At the same time, however, INFJs are forward-thinking, goal-oriented, and independent-minded. As Introverts, they need time to themselves to recharge their proverbial batteries. This creates an ongoing, even lifelong, struggle for INFJs. Namely, trying to balance their own needs, values, and desires against those of others.

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INFJs have a reputation for being the strongest perfectionists of all the personality types. Their perfectionistic bent makes sense in light of their functional stack, with their Ni supplying the vision and their Fe/Se wanting to see it actualized.

INFJs are harder on themselves than they are on anyone else. Their Fe makes INFJs more than willing to forgive the offenses and shortcomings of others. But since they see themselves as more insightful and wise when it comes to human behavior, they rarely grant themselves the same degree of grace. They figure that if they are unable to perfectly embody their theories and ideals, then why should they expect anyone else to. And if their ideals have no chance of being actualized, then why even bother? Without the ability to maintain hope in their ideals, INFJs may feel they have no reason for living. This is why it feels so important for them to act perfectly. INFJs know they have been entrusted with much, so they expect much more from themselves than they do from others.

As mentioned earlier, INFJ are masters when it comes to reading people and their motives. The Ni/Fe/Se combination, whether occurring in INFJs or ENFJs, is adept at detecting and interpreting human emotions. Not only are INFJs adept a surveying and reading emotions, but they are highly skilled at solving people-related problems.

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When it comes to people and humanitarian issues, INFJs typically feel they have answers, or at least have the capacity to generate one. INFJs feel that in order to solve the myriad humanitarian crises facing the world, we must first gain a better foothold on the fundamentals of human nature and human behavior. We need to better understand ourselves—our motives, behaviors, and personality.

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INFJs often feel happiest and most fulfilled when helping others solve their problems. They also enjoy receiving new insights into people as they going about helping them. INFJs are least content when they become too caught up in themselves and their own personal grievances. This is why healthy relationships and/or a well-suited career are so vital to INFJs’ satisfaction. If they feel bored or stagnated in their work or relationships, they have been known to engage in destructive behaviors to produce a problem to solve.INFJ deep

Because of their love for proferring advice and solving people-related problems, INFJs are commonly drawn to careers such as ministry, counseling, and teaching. Others may opt to work toward social change in politics or non-profit work.

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INFJs may well be the most profoundly creative of all types. When engrossed in creative flow, they experience themselves in perfect synchrony with the universe. Some have described this as a trance, an altered state of consciousness in which they morph into a vessel of creative energy. Others have likened it to divine inspiration or being visited by muses. Such metaphors speak to the power of the creative process for INFJs. When engrossed in a creative stint, they may write for hours, occasionally even days, without rest. They may feel that, should they stop, they will lose out on the wealth of insights that are effortlessly flowing through them.

Metaphor, the primary offspring of a fertile Ni, is INFJs’ bread-and-butter tool for communication, allowing them illustrate their ideas in an easy-to-swallow format. In contrast to INTs’ bent toward linguistic parsimony, INFJs prefer to dress up their ideas, invigorating and embellishing them with descriptive metaphors. It is interesting to note the degree to which Se details shows up in their verbiage; INFJs not only want others to see their point, but to hear it, feel it, taste it, and smell it. A good INFJ friend of mine and student of the culinary arts cannot help but use food metaphors on a routine basis.

Although INFJs are commonly drawn to music, visual arts, design, or architecture, writing may well be this type’s signature creative talent. Adept at channeling their right-brain creativity into a fluid and engaging left-brain storyline, INFJs are unmatched in their feel for and creative use of the written word. Since writing is largely an intuitive enterprise, INFJs who can readily access their Ni muses can enjoy a great advantage in this particular craft.

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