Tag Archive | motivation

How to gain Confidence

I’m passionate about the topic of confidence and there are so many different aspects to it and so many different levels.

The first point to look at is around your focus. If you feel that you are lacking in confidence, my guess would be that your focus is on what you can’t do, where you failed, and how you feel that you’ve got things wrong. What would happen if you changed your focus? What would happen if you shifted your perspective from where it was into a new one, which you maybe have to your imagination with, but what if you focused in on what you have achieved, things that you have been successful in, and things that you have done? So for example, what if you started to think about all that you’ve achieved in your life from learning to talk, learning to walk, learning to pass an exam, swim, ride a bike, drive a car? The list I am sure is endless of all the things that you really have done. What would happen and how do you think you would feel if that was your focus on a daily basis?

The second aspect to look at is around your language. How are you actually talking to yourself both internally and externally because that’s a real key indicator of how you feel about yourself? If you want to grow your confidence then if you make a mistake and then you’re telling yourself what an idiot you are or how stupid you are.., then really is that going to inspire confidence in you to have another go or even have an attempt at something new? Look at how you’re speaking to yourself, language is so important. Start to use kind language, give yourself a break, and actually be nice to yourself.

Would you really speak to a best friend or a family member or even a child the way you speak to yourself currently? Yet you would probably want them to have confidence in themselves so because you want them to have confidence, you speak kindly to them.

How about if you turn that around and started speaking kindly to yourself? I know the difference that it’s made in my life and I’m sure that if you started to put that into practice you’ll gain even more confidence in yourself, which again is what you want to do, is it not?

My final thing for you to think about is rather than thinking about what’s gone wrong and thinking about the mistakes that you’ve made, think about the lessons that you’ve learnt. Every single day we’ll trip up, fall over, say the incorrect thing, and get something wrong. All of those things are there to help us learn so instead of focusing on getting it wrong and being a bad person, why not stop and at the end of the day ask yourself what have I learnt today? What have I have learnt today, and not only that, how can I use that information in the future? I know that when you learnt to walk as a child you would have fallen over at some point yet you didn’t sit there and stop. What you did is you decided to learn and use the information from falling over to get back up again and have another go, and you use that information to inform your next step. So at the end of every day, take a moment to think about how you can use the information from that day, those lessons, to help you in the future.

Advertisements

My goals

In my previous article I wrote about my life changing decision. I’ve realized that I have been living a life of constriction. And to live that kind of life is to not let the light of my being to shine through.

I’ve decided to stop procrastinating and to start living my highest potential. And I really mean it. I’m not going to try to do this. I’m committed to it 100% and there’s no going back. There will be no excuses.

When I start doubting myself or when I feel lazy, I’m just going to remind myself that I’ve been given the gift of this life. I have a great potential. I can create a wonderful, exciting life for myself. The only person standing in my way is myself. Will I make the best out of this life, or will I live my life safely…only to arrive at death safely?

I have two options. I can 1) stick to my old habits and patterns, or I can 2) develop new habits that serve my highest good.

When I choose the first option, I’m going to continue doubting myself, I will never try anything new, I won’t be able to find any new friends and make deep bonds with people, I will eventually get sick and fat, I will end up being depressed, deeply disappointed and frustrated in life. Most likely I will never marry and have children, I will have a poor payed job that frustrates me and I will die because of all the pain and sadness.

When I choose the second option, I’m going to be able to accept and love myself for who I am. I will become my best self and reach my highest potential. I will face all the difficulties like they are challenges. I will be able to conquer any fear. I’m going to have many wonderful friends and people. I will inspire people around me. I’m going to have my dream job and I will be able to help people. Most likely I will meet my life partner and we will start a family. I will be healthy and feel good about my body. My life will be a challenging, exciting and ecstatic experience.

I don’t even have to ask myself which option I prefer. Obviously, it’s the second one. I can’t believe I used to be so stupid and I did my best to end up like a person in the first option. Thankfully, now I’m smart enough to realize that I can change my life right here, right now. I’m pursuing my goals and nothing can make me change my mind or stop me from becoming my best self.

Willpower

So, at the beginning, it’s essential to set clear goals. I’m going to list my goals and I’m going to write everything that I will do on a daily basis to reach that goal: I want to be more open as a person. I want to become my true, authentic self.

  • I will share everything that I believe in with other people.
  • I will stop to tone myself down in order to be accepted by others.
  • I will be perfectly honest all the time.
  • I will stop keeping secrets.
  • I will stop isolating myself.
  • I will express my emotions.
  • I will stop trying to fit myself into a life dictated by society.

I want to develop self love and self appreciation.

  • I will live my life according to the question: What would a person that loved themselves do?
  • I will take time to do things that excite me every day.
  • I will celebrate my successes.
  • Whenever I look in the mirror, I will search for things I can appreciate about my body.
  • I will keep a gratitude journal. Every day I will list all the things I’m thankful for.
  • I will be spending my time productively and make myself proud every day.

I want to be accepted for psychology studies.

  • I will summarize one chapter from the psychology book every day.
  • I will summarize one chapter from the social sciences book every day.
  • I will be solving math problems every day.
  • I will train my logical thinking and spatial intelligence.

I want to find a part time job.

  • I will be actively searching for job options every day until I find the best one.
  • I will apply for it and do my best to be accepted.

I want to create and sell my mandalas.

  • I will work on a mandala every day for at least 1 hour.

I want to find friends and meet like minded people.

  • I will go out more and search for like minded individuals.
  • I will be more active on social sites and on my blogs.
  • I will message interesting people daily until I find someone who understands me and with whom I can share my life with.

I want to get in shape and feel good in my body.

  • I will exercise each day for at least 10 minutes in the morning and 10 minutes in the afternoon.
  • I will take a walk outside each day for at least 15 minutes.

I want to eat healthy food and stop overeating.

  • I won’t eat when I’m not hungry.
  • I won’t eat any chocolates or candies.
  • I will drink more pure water.
  • I will take vitamins every day.

I want to go to bed earlier.

  • I will go to sleep at 10 PM every day.

I want to wake up earlier.

  • I will wake up at 7 AM every day.

A life changing decision

It’s early in the morning.

My alarm goes off.

Beep, beep, beep.

I open my eyes, feeling groggy and disoriented.

Still half-asleep, I try to figure out what’s going on.

Then I remember.

Last night, feeling particularly inspired, I decided I’d get up early and go for a run before starting to work.

Ahhhh shit.

My bed feels so warm, so comfy, like a little cocoon.

I close my eyes again. I know I have to make a decision.

I can take the easy way out, hit snooze and go back to sleep…

Or take the highest road, put on my running shoes, and head out the door.

Every single day, I’m faced with countless little decisions like this one. In these moments, I have to decide between what’s good for me… and what’s easy, comfortable, safe. Individually, most of these decisions are fairly inconsequential. But together, they add up. They compound. And it’s the sum of all these micro-decisions that determines my destiny.

This month, I came down with a severe case of procrastination. Every time I sat down to work, I felt an irresistible urge to check random websites, watch some videos on Youtube, or fire up a quick episode of The Big Bang Theory. Getting myself to do any productive task was a struggle of epic proportions. No matter what I tried, I just couldn’t stop procrastinating.

But then, I’ve realized something very deeply. I’ve realized that I only have this life. And this life is so very short! Right now I am the youngest I will ever be. Time only moves forward. Soon I will be old. How am I going to feel about my life when I continue to live like this? Will I be proud?

If I continued to live my life procrastinating, I would definitely regret many things. I would regret that I was so fearful of judgement of other people that I’ve never made a deep bond with anyone. I would regret that I was too scared to take risks that I ended up living my life safely… only to arrive at death safely. I would regret that I have been ignoring my body and its needs until it got sick. I would regret that I was afraid of failing, so I never tried anything new. I would regret that I believed all my life that I was worthless and lived my life according to that, when at the end it was never true… I would have many regrets. But what would I regret the most is that I knew I had the chance to become great and I have not fulfilled my highest potential.

I have realized how short my life is so deeply that I no longer want to waste a single moment. I now know that I am fully and completely responsible for my life. There’s nothing standing in way between me and my dreams except myself. Its only my choice what do I do with this life.

Right here, right now, as I’m writing this, I’m at a crossroad in my life.

I can stick to my old habits and patterns, knowing deep down I’m not living nearly at the level I’m capable of…

Or I can use this article as a springboard towards greatness by implementing the strategies it contains.

Once I have realized this, the option to go back to the old behavior of procrastinating and avoiding my life just became totally illogical. Why would I continue to do such a thing when I know I can be great?

Today I’m making the decision to change my life in every way. I’m going to master self discipline. I will set goals and fulfill them all. I will celebrate all of my successes. I will dream big. And I’m going to become the best version of myself I could possible be.