Tag Archive | introvert

The Virtues of Solitude – 1 Quietness

One of the most important discoveries I’ve made in my life is that only in solitude can we discover who we truly are.

Only in solitude can we discover what our lives are about, what our personal purposes are and most essentially, develop the inner peace we need to live life fully, deeply and meaningfully.

Every person is a solitaire.  Every person is a stone set by themselves.  The truth is that not only do we experience everything in our lives in the solitary, but we can never find our purpose, peace or answers engulfed in the tides of people or society either.

My hope is that this series will inspire you to seek, at the very least, some quiet time to reflect and learn.

The Noise Trap

Have you ever felt the need for some “quiet time”?  And more importantly, have you ever asked yourself why?  It’s no secret that our society and the lives we live are the causes of such momentary spurs of exhaustion inside of us.  But why?  Not only do we feel constantly drained by the fast paced, consumer driven lives we live, but the time we have to relax and reflect is harshly limited as well.  Many of us unconsciously realize that the noisy schedules we carry, allow no time for us to live life.  Before we know it, our days, months and years pass in a blur.  It is when we emerge from our routinary, mindless days that we realize we haven’t achieved anything of meaningful importance.  We feel empty inside and outside, not knowing who we are or what true fulfillment is.  This sickly feeling is the result of one sole thing: noise.

Quietness is the Secret Ingredient

Quietness is the most essential element to solitude.  If the opposite of a virtue is a sin – have you ever thought of noise, the antithesis of quietness, as a sin?  Personally I don’t like using the word, but noise really does hinder self discovery and self fulfillment.  If a virtue is the quality of doing what is right and avoiding what is wrong, then quietness is possibly the most underrated virtue there is, and noise is the most forgotten “sin”.  Only in quiet, the absence of noisy distraction, can we focus on developing inner and outer awareness, understanding and appreciation.  But is external quietness essential to inner peace?

Quietness Internally & Externally

The Virtues of Solitude   #1 Quietness

Is outer quietness always essential for establishing inner quietness?  No.  But it helps. What does this tranquility and quietness consist of?  Inner quietness is an acceptance of yourself and the world, without any noisy conflicting expectations or desires.  It is becoming mindful of the emotions and thoughts that are not you and letting them pass in peace.  It is becoming aware of, and cherishing the beauty, fragility and transience of all life around you.  And lastly, inner quietness is making peace with yourself, your flaws and your failures, realizing that none of these are you.  They simply belonged to you. Inner quietness is the state of ultimate love and joy.

What about you?

What did you think about this article?  I would love to hear your stories and experiences with quietness below.

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Ten Little Known Facts about INFJ’s.

10.  INFJs are typically better in writing than in verbal communication. If you want to know an INFJ’s true feelings, ask them to write out what they think and feel but don’t expect them to do it, especially if they don’t know you very well.

9.  INFJs can often mimic other personality types. Because they are masters at understanding people’s core personalities- becoming someone else can be very easy.

8.  An INFJ’s allegiance is no trifle. If an INFJ wants to stick by you, it means they really like you. Never violate that gift, INFJ’s can be dangerous enemies.

7.  INFJ’s are like onions. No they don’t stink, or make you cry, or get all brown if you leave them out in the sun to long. They have layers, and only a select few are ever privy to see all those layers. Do not expect to peel back their layers overnight- that can take months, even years before they trust you that much.

6.  INFJs are extremely sensitive. Make sure that criticism is handed as lightly as possible and constructively. At the same time if they respect you they will want to please you and prove to you they can take that criticism and become better, although many times it might take them time to work through the hurt of your words to come to that realization.

5.  INFJs love helping people. If you’re bad at accepting help (yes, accepting help is a skill), then get ready to have problems. To reject an INFJ’s help is to reject their love, and one of the things they hold nearest to their hearts.

4.  They can be extremely stubborn once they believe they are right, especially if it has to do with their morals or values. However, don’t think that just because they are arguing with you, they aren’t listening- many times they will think about what you said to them for weeks and it may slowly make them more open-minded to your opinions.

3.  Your energy as a friend, partner, or family member will easily affect them. If you seem unstable, etc., it will soak into them and poison them. It has often been said that an INFJ’s partner has to be resilient, and this is generally true.

2.  An INFJ is incredibly complex, so complex they confuse even themselves. They almost always feel misunderstood and ‘hidden’. They will be offended if you pass them off as ‘simple’ or ‘average’. Getting to know an INFJ takes work, so be prepared for that. A lot of gentle enquiry is required.

1.  Last but not least, don’t lie to an INFJ! Omitting or distorting the truth is generally looked at as lying and will definitely arouse suspicion in them. INFJ’s have an intuition when it comes to stories that don’t quite fit. Tread carefully if you are hiding something from them.

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*Source of the article: modalitiesofexistence.com

My INFJ story

Hi lovely people!

It’s time for me to introduce myself. Maybe you’ve been wandering who is behind this blog. I’m going to tell you a little more about me (beware, my definition of “a little” = a novel.) So who am I?

My name is Paulina and I’m probably the most stereotypical INFJ in existence. Someone could seriously use me as a textbook example. I embody all typical INFJ traits to the highest degree. I can relate to every INFJ description I have found 100%. When I first discovered that I am an INFJ, it was almost life saving for me. I was very surprised to find the description alarmingly accurate, describing me pretty much to the point where I could think of nothing I could add to make it any more complete. For the first time in my life I felt like someone understands me.

I would like to start from the childhood. Since a very young age I knew I was different. I enjoyed solitude and I loved to play just by myself. In kindergarten I was that weird kid that was observing everyone and everything in the corner. I especially loved to paint and create stuff so you could always find me with crayons in my hands. I remember that my teachers were very concerned about me. They told my parents they should send me to a childhood psychiatrist to find out if I’m sane and not mentally ill. The doctor didn’t identify me with any mental illness and just assumed that I am very shy and introverted, but maybe it gets better as I grow up. I remember that everyone called me “Sleeping beauty” as a child.I was always typed as the girl who existed in “her own little world”. I remember feeling guilty for being weird. I hated the fact that I was different and I could’t fit in no matter how hard I tried. I avoided trouble and followed the rules to an anal degree. I believe my nickname was “saint girl” when I was younger.

Besides my obvious preference for introversion, I have always been an “old soul”. When I was 4 years old, I felt very strange in my little tiny body. I felt so much wiser and older than what I looked like. I always wanted to figure out how the universe works. The first sentence I spoke when I learned how to talk was: “What does it mean?”. 😀 I always search for meaning behind things.

One particular childhood memory stands out for me: I remember looking at my own reflection in the mirror and staring deeply into my own eyes. I felt like I could see the entire universe reflected in my eyes. I felt like I’m a part of something much greater than myself. I knew I was the creator myself, not just a waste of space in a meaningless universe. These kind of things happened to me often as a child and continue to happen now in my adulthood.

My childhood was full of feeling misunderstood, being bullied and feeling like an alien in this world. Occasionally there were good times, but mostly is ranged from mediocre to miserable, intermixed with complete hell. No one could understand me but I felt like I understand everyone. I could easily read people and their motives, intentions and feelings. It bothered me even more when I saw that no one can tell how I feel. It made me feel even more otherwordly. In my case, I think the characteristics of being an INFJ coupled with not so supportive parents caused the loneliness & isolation I experienced as a child.

My teenage years = Very few friends, a non existent social life. As a teenager I enjoyed reading. Everywhere I went I had to take a book with me. I also enjoy writing. I express myself so much better in writing than in verbal communication. I’ve spend the majority of my teenage years on the internet. I’ve created blogs and shared my ideas with other people. For the first time in my life I felt like someone understands me. I love internet so much because it contains a lot of information. I adore learning new things. When I find a subject I’m passionate about I spend hours and hours researching on the internet until I’m an expert in it.

I have to admit that since I discovered my personality type, my life is getting better and better. It’s all about self acceptance. I used to hate myself as a child and I used to think that something was wrong with me. But my self hate decreased a lot when I found out that I’m a perfectly healthy INFJ. I’m not a flawed and defected human being, I’m just very rare and original. I began to value myself and accept myself more. And as I started doing so, I noticed that other people accept me more as well. I was even able to find friends that appreciate me for who I am.

I’m also very spiritual. Not religious but spiritual. I’m deeply interested in all things metaphysical. I guess I was already born this way and when I read spiritual books, it feels like I’m remembering something I have always known very deeply.

Another thing that I love is art. I love to create mandalas and symbolic paintings.  When engrossed in creative flow, I experience myself in perfect synchrony with the universe. I’m very creative and artistic. When engrossed in a creative stint, I may paint and write for hours, occasionally even days, without rest.

Right now I’m about to attend collage and study psychology. My dream is to counsel people and help them find happiness. I love giving people advice and solving people-related problems. I feel that in order to solve the myriad humanitarian crises facing the world, we must first gain a better foothold on the fundamentals of human nature and human behavior. We need to better understand ourselves—our motives, behaviors, and personality. My greatest joy is in helping people and knowing that I’m making this world a brighter place.

Words I would choose to describe myself:

deep, complex, loving, gentle, caring, friendly, intuitive, dreamer, visionary, idealist, mystic, philosopher, supportive, understanding, helpful, authentic, individualistic, original, quiet,  spiritual, wise, compassionate, otherwordly, artistic, creative, passionate, determined, commited

Being an INFJ

Recently I have been doing  research on being an INFJ. If you dont know what INFJ means, its one of the 16 MBTI personality types. You can find a very detailed description of an INFJ here. There is also a great video that explains our personality perfectly:

And here is a video called “Pure INFJness” which is very accurate:

I even created an entire tumblr blog dedicated to INFJ personality type: http://perksofbeinginfj.tumblr.com/. I post here things which are relatable to INFJs. It is a glipse into our minds.

The information I have found during my research is definitely relatable to my own life. When I read these posts and articles I am literally reading with an intense jaw-dropped face. Every description of an INFJ personality is me in a nutshell. 

I have decided to contribute to many other posts other INFJs have written about their lives. This one is about the advantages and disadvantages of being an INFJ. Like any other personality type, it has its positives and its negatives. I definitely enjoy being an INFJ, I wouldnt change my personality type even if I could. Its not always easy to have such a rare and widely misunderstood personality, but our lives are definitely not boring.

I hope this information will be helpful for you, if youre an INFJ you will most likely be able to relate to most of the points and if youre another personality type, I hope this post will help you to understand us better. 

What I love about being an INFJ:

  • I am intensely self aware. Because I am constantly thinking, analyzing each one of my thoughts and discovering all of my motivations, I know my strengths and weaknesses. I like myself more every year because I know myself more every year and the more I get to know who I am, the more control over I have in making myself who I want to be. If I couldn’t talk and argue with myself every waking hour, I would go truly insane. I love being able to explore myself, my motivations and desires honestly. And obviously I like doing it to other people as well.
  • I love how friendly I am. I just like being nice to people. I love how I can surprise every day people with my kindness – as if it’s nothing they’ve ever seen before.
  • I love my ability to think the way I do. I like that I think analytically and I like that I think creatively.
  • I love my imagination. It’s endless.
  • I love my intuition. I rely on it more than on anything else. And it never disappoints me. Sometimes I feel like I’m psychic.
  • I love my understanding of people and being empathetic enough to truly understand and help them. Being able to see through “fake” or untruthful people and their lies. I love how I can meet someone and instantly know if this person is worth getting to know or not.
  • I can always see right through situations and most people to the core of things. I have great radar and gut instincts.
  • I love it that people are drawn to me and feel good to tell me about their deepest feelings and concerns, even though we may have just met. I love to listen to people, to guide them and help them.
  • I love my ability to listen, and not just listen… but completely absorb what others are saying.
  • I like my camouflage ability to blend in with different groups of people.
  • I like my ability to form lasting relationships and deep bonds with people.
  • I actually enjoy being a perfectionist – everything being neat and orderly is relaxing. I like my capacity to do and finish something if I put my mind to it.
  • I love my honesty. I can’t seem to be anything but honest. I simply can’t lye. Maybe sometimes I don’t tell the whole truth when I know that the other person is not prepared to hear it, but I always mean what I say.
  • I have the power to motivate anyone to strive for their goals, if they’re children, people my age, older people, whatever… I have become extremely good to debate every part of why they aren’t living their life. Being able to see the potential in others and even myself is really inspiring and when people tell me about their dreams, goals and future plans I can’t help but smile and usually get more excited than they are about it.
  • I love my own company. I like the peace I can find in being alone. Thinking back there’s literally never been a time when I’m alone where I’ve wished that someone else was with me. I hardly ever feel lonely because I live so much in my head.
  • I love my ability to express myself well through writing.
  • I love my dedication to make the world a brighter place. I love how excited I am to make a difference.

What is not so great about being an INFJ:

  • I feel everything those around me feel. This is a blessing and a curse at the same time. It’s not even empathy. I literally feel exactly what you feel. Even if you are trying to hide it or don’t express your feelings, somehow I still know. The weird part is that I don’t have to be in the physical presence of someone to feel their emotions. I can hear a news story, I can read a book, I can watch a movie. I can’t stand horror movies because of how strongly and realistically I feel the emotions of the people on the screen. I avoid the news. I block out negative stories people tell. I skip magazine articles. It’s not that I am trying to be ignorant to the pains in the world, but I physically can’t handle the excess of emotions.
  • I can’t control my facial expressions. Every emotion I feel is spread obviously across my face or it shows on my body language. It can prove to be extremely embarrassing sometimes.
  • I have no sense of how others see me. This is a paradox because I can read people very well. I tend to know who to trust or who to dodge. I can tell if someone is nervous, concerned, intimidated even if they are trying to hide it. The weird thing is that I literally have no clue if someone likes me or what they could be thinking of me at any given moment. Its very frustrating. Just imagine being able to gauge someone just by looking at them and then looking in the mirror and seeing a giant question mark. That’s what it’s like. My life’s joy and entertainment is from observing and figuring people out and the person I am supposed to know the best is the one that puzzles me most. Ah the irony.
  • I am very sensitive to negative words and criticism. I know I feel as though I have failed somehow or I am distorted if I am criticized. I have been working on trying to not take things so hard.
  • I think the things most people talk about are boring. I’m always testing people to see if I can talk to them about the things that really matter to me (usually I can’t). I’d rather have one person in my life who gets me than dozens of people who just know me. I know my friends better than they know themselves (but I can’t tell them that). I’d rather use conversation to talk to someone about their true thoughts and feelings (but this doesn’t happen at group dinners or parties, so I avoid these things).
  • I’m a perfectionist and I obsess over little things, like how the decorations in my room look or what clothes I should wear. I spend more time on projects than I let on to other people.
  • And probably the worst thing about being an INFJ is not being understood. Since we are such a rare personality type, other people cant relate to us. We are often describes as weird, complex, paradoxical, too deep… While part of me enjoys being somewhat of a puzzle that no one will ever figure out, sometimes I just wish people could just understand certain things about me. For instance, everyone thinks I am lonely because I would rather sit home and read a nice book, then go out and socialize. Everyone thinks I am depressed because I don’t walk around with a mile-wide grin on my face. There are many misunderstandings that we INFJs must face. 

15 Myths About Introverts

I found this article HERE and I can relate to everything it says so I want to share it with you today:

We constitute a great percentage of the world’s best thinkers, philosophers, scientists, and artists. Yet we find ourselves bullied, belittled, accused and misdiagnosed as being socially and mentally inept, and threatening. If one of the highest instincts in mankind is self-preservation, it’s no wonder that many people fear what they don’t understand: the quiet and insular introvert. Below are 15 of the most popular myths about introverts, and why they’re misinformed twaddle.

If you feel strongly about any, please feel free to tweet or recommend them, and spread the message:

Myth #1 : Introverts are arrogant assholes.

15 Myths About Introverts   In 3 Words

Truth : We’re socially cautious.

It’s true that introverts can come across as being too cold or aloof, but this is because we’re preoccupied with thinking and processing information internally. We also like to keep to ourselves around people who aren’t close to us, and take great precaution in uncharted territory. This makes us appear standoffish, for sure, but our silence isn’t snobbish self aggrandizement. If we don’t interact with you much, it isn’t because we dislike, or think we’re too good for you. It just means that we’re still cautious of you, or simply want to keep to ourselves.

Myth #2 : Introverts are rude – they’re surly and ill-mannered.

15 Myths About Introverts   In 3 Words

Truth : We’re selectively social.

We can be blunt, and appear slightly bored and impatient at times, but this is because small talk disinterests us. We prefer intimate and meaningful conversations. We also become physically drained easily if we’re around too many people for too long. This can make us appear not only rude, but avoidant as well, especially if we’ve been invited to parties and social functions that we turn down. This is simply a quirk of our natural temperaments. We rarely intend to be deliberately rude.

Myth #3 : Introverts always want to be alone.

15 Myths About Introverts   In 3 Words

Truth : We’re easily drained.

Many introverts aren’t loners. And even if they were, what’s so wrong with being a loner anyway? The truth is, the majority of introverts don’t like to always be alone. Frequently, we have one or two close friends we like to spend time with, but at certain times and certain levels. Although we value and thrive in ‘alone time’, we value small doses of social time as well.

Myth #4 : Introverts don’t like to go out – they’re agoraphobic.

15 Myths About Introverts   In 3 Words

Truth : We’re internally stimulated.

Although we like to spend a lot of time in doors, we don’t suffer from a pathological disease. We find our stimulation inside of ourselves with our thoughts and our own hobbies. This means that we don’t need to “go out” all that often, as we already have what we need to thrive. Introverts also value the comfort, safety and privacy of their own personal environments, which may lead us to staying indoors more than other people. We usually don’t mind going out – but it just isn’t necessary to us.

Myth #5 : Introverts have no friends – they’re losers.

15 Myths About Introverts   In 3 Words

Truth : We’re intimately selective.

It’s true, we struggle to make friends in many cases. But this is because we pick selectively people who we think would make worthy long-term companions. Many introverts have one or two friends to confide in, but the fact that we take a while to open up to people means that it’s difficult at first for us to make friends. This is why many introverted children and teenagers find themselves friendless in school. It doesn’t mean they exclusively like to always be alone, and without any companions.

Myth #6 : Introverts are depressive people.

15 Myths About Introverts   In 3 Words

Truth : We’re quietly complacent.

Just like depressive people, introverts can come across as being quiet and detached. The essential difference between depressed people and introversion, is that introverts are complacent in their quietness, whereas the depressive are dissatisfied in their quietness. There is such a thing as a depressed introvert, but the majority of introverts are quietly content in their world. They aren’t in constant conflict with themselves and the universe, although they do occasionally face issues, they aren’t trapped in them, as depressive people are.

Myth #7 : Introverts are twisted weirdo’s.

15 Myths About Introverts   In 3 Words

Truth : We embrace eccentricity.

It’s unfortunate that out of fear many people make sweeping generalizations about the nature of introverts. Being a twisted lunatic is just another of them. True, we may do things differently and have unconventional quirks that deviate from the popular norm, but we aren’t dangerous, or completely mad. Introverts feed from their own worlds and minds, not those of other people. This makes the introvert’s behavior at times odd, and other times unique. Perhaps this was how the world made it’s greatest progress: through it’s introverted scientists and thinkers and their individual eccentricities which didn’t vomit the same repeated ideas.

Myth #8 : Introverts hate people – they’re misanthropes.

15 Myths About Introverts   In 3 Words

Truth : We value people.

As quiet, thoughtful and occasionally skeptical people, introverts can come across as being people-haters. Of course, it can’t be said that 100% of introverts value people, but a vast majority of them do. Besides, not liking being around people does not equate to not liking people themselves. Introverts just value calmness and intelligence, and people in small doses, which is why they can come across as being brusque and short-tempered in hyper-active people environments.

Myth #9 : Introverts don’t like to talk – they have nothing to say.

15 Myths About Introverts   In 3 Words

Truth : We speak selectively.

While people yap away and verbalize anything that comes to mind, introverts prefer to quietly hang by the fringes. They prefer to think before speaking, and closely listen to what is being said before contributing. If too many people are present, introverts usually have a hard time getting any word in, so decide to remain silent instead. There’s no point voicing a well thought-out opinion if it will fall on deaf ears. As a result, introverts are usually labelled falsely as people who don’t like to speak, or who have nothing to say. The truth is, we just speak selectively.

Myth #10 : Introverts are uptight party-poopers – they can’t have fun.

15 Myths About Introverts   In 3 Words

Truth : We’re uniquely fun.

Introverts make their own fun, and tailor it to suit themselves and their own unique needs. Sure, we don’t like to participate in drunken karaoke, or sip piña colada’s in elite social clubs. But we have fun in different ways – like book clubs, making gnomes in pottery classes, and designing our own web-comics  Sure, we may come across as being uptight and uncomfortable in socially “fun” and overwhelming situations, but this isn’t because we’re party-poopers. We just prefer to have fun in different ways.

Myth #11 : Introverts are mentally inept – they’re stupid.

Truth : We’re insightfully intelligent.

15 Myths About Introverts   In 3 Words
Many people falsely assume that introverts are unintelligent because, one, they don’t frequently voice their ideas and thoughts, and two, they’re too quiet and submissive. The fact is, if people just stopped to listen and observe, they would see that the introvert has a fountain of useful knowledge and well-constructed thoughts to contribute. Quietness does not equal stupidity, neither does loudness equal intelligence.

Myth #12 : Introverts are sneaky – they’re sly and devious.

15 Myths About Introverts   In 3 Words

Truth : We value solitude.

This is one of the more bizarre myths about introverts out there. Some people assume that because introverts go off by themselves a lot, they have something to hide. Many people also become suspicious of introverts, especially when they share so little of themselves to the world. The truth is, introverts aren’t evil or sneaky. Perhaps some possess these traits, but most introverts simply need alone-time to re-cooperate and revitalize – not build bombs, or swindle people.

Myth #13 : Introverts are shy.

15 Myths About Introverts   In 3 Words

Truth : We are reserved.

It’s true that many shy people are introverted. Yet not all introverts are shy – they’re just reserved, or in other words, they like to keep to themselves and not involve themselves in the affairs of other people too much. The different between shyness and introversion is that shy people are scared of social contact, introverts aren’t. They just prefer to avoid it in large quantities.

Myth #14 : Introverts have low self esteem.

15 Myths About Introverts   In 3 Words

Truth : We aren’t self-hating.

Of course, low self esteem is common to many people, and introverts are no exception. But most importantly, introversion is not defined by possessing low self esteem. Even extroverts have low self esteem, which manifests itself in different ways to the introvert’s. The point is, by default, introverts don’t suffer poor self esteem. Being quiet and detached from other people at times is not an instant marker of self-hatred or poor self confidence.

Myth #15 : Introversion is an affliction that can be cured or ‘fixed’.

15 Myths About Introverts   In 3 Words

Truth : Introversion isn’t curable.

If introversion is a deeply embedded personality temperament mostly determined by genetics, then it can’t be “cured”. It’s also false to assume that introversion is some kind of curse that should be fixed. Certainly, being introverted has many down falls (including all the false myths described in this article), but it also has many perks and positives. See this article to check them out.

My experience with social anxiety

In the previous article I was talking about social awkwardness from its fun side. This time I’m going to take a more serious approach to this topic because it really isn’t very funny for a person that is suffering from social anxiety.

I’m going to share with you my own experience:

Most people get anxious about social situations from time to time. But with me, anxiety took control and kept me from living.

I’ve felt afraid of people from the time I was a kid, and this continued to get worse as I got older. I had bucked teeth and a speech problem. I felt very different from other kids. My peers physically and verbally attacked me for years. I felt ashamed and humiliated because I was unable to defend myself, so I didn’t tell anybody what was happening to me. I felt safe nowhere and I trusted no one. I became afraid to go outside. I often pretended to be sick so I wouldn’t have to face the kids at school. I avoided situations that I thought might cause me anxiety. Because I was isolated, I didn’t know what normal was.

I sat in class frozen, afraid to attract attention. I saw people participating in social activities I found impossible and I couldn’t understand where they found the courage, so I thought I was a weak willed coward. I was crippled by feelings of dread that jabbed at me out of nowhere. I was afraid I’d melt if I left my emotions be seen by other people.

I dissociated from my feelings and memories to cope with the fear and anger buried deep inside. I insulated myself by isolating in my room and rocking to music for hours on end. I found this comforting, but I couldn’t stop and it consumed my time. I couldn’t get my homework done and my character growth was stunted.

I came to the point where I thought that living my life, every day worrying about what others thought of me and every day feeling humiliated and embarrassed for no good reason, and not doing what I wanted to do because of this embarrassment, was not a good way to live.

So I decided that I want to change it. I started to read a lot of books on self help, self acceptance and self love. I discovered that the main reason why I hated to socialize was because my lack of confidence. I believed that there must be something wrong with me. I hated myself and believed I was a completely worthless human being.

It took a few years but thing started to change. I made friends for the first time in my life. What we all had in common was our social awkwardness. For the first time in my life I had a feeling like someone can understand me. We all felt uncomfortable making small talk, doing group projects, meeting new people. We all loved to read, walk in nature, write and we also enjoyed talking to each other about deep interesting topics. It made me feel so much better when I found out I’m not alone in this and it definitely helped me to recover from social anxiety.

Over the years of practice, I am now much better at handling social situations before. Surely, I’m not a social butterfly. I’m still introverted and I prefer to have a few close friends, my ideal Saturday evening is spending time alone reading a book, writing or watching my favorite TV show. But I no longer feel so stressed during conversations, I actually enjoy meeting new people, I can talk to people more easily and effortlessly and people no longer make fun of me or think I am a weirdo.

For me, the cure for social anxiety was self acceptance. Once I stopped believing in my worthlessness, things started to change. I gained self confidence and I was no longer so afraid of what other people thought of me. I started to express my opinions, I started to talk to people and I was surprised when other people finally began treating me as a normal and valuable person.

I want everyone struggling with social anxiety, social awkwardness and extreme shyness to know that it is perfectly curable. If I did it, you can do it too. Remember, you are not alone!!!

Lots of love to you all:)