The most beautiful feeling

Today I have been able to see myself in a whole different light. I have never been so proud of myself in my entire life. I have realized that everything that I thought that was bad about me was an illusion. Everything I ever thought was wrong with me never really was wrong.

I cried tears of joy today. I am so happy to be the person that I am. It feels like I am in love with myself. I know it probably sounds super narcissistic but I don’t think is. Just because I think of myself highly doesn’t mean that I think I am better than other people. In fact, the more self loving I am becoming, the more I love and appreciate other people.

It is crazy to me that I used to believe I was worthless. Nothing could be further from the truth. I am a part of the infinite creation. I exist. The simple fact that I exist means that I am worthy. Creation doesn’t create pointless things. If I exist, it means that the creation thinks I am necessary for it to be whole. Without me it would not be “All that is”. It would only be “All that could be”.

I love the person that I am. I wouldn’t want to be anybody else. I enjoy playing this game called life. And I enjoy being this character. I value my gifts that I have been blessed with. I love my personality traits. Everything I used to think was wrong with my personality can actually be seen as a plus and as a strength.

Now I can look at myself in the mirror and I like what I see. I might not be beauty queen by society’s standards, but I am myself. This is my body and the only body I have in this life. It is healthy and functioning. It is perfect for me. I value it for what it is and I wouldn’t change it if I could.

It is my desire for all of you to know how beautiful you are. There is no better feeling than self love and self appreciation. It doesn’t matter what other people are telling you, what society is telling you. There never was and never could be anything wrong with you. You are wonderful, magnificent and perfect from the sources perspective. Your worth is inate. You could never take away from it and you could never add to it. You are allowed to love yourself just as you are in this very moment. It is your choice.

Dealing with self worth

Through the process of shadow work I found out that my core belief is “I am worthless”. I can see this core belief being active in many situations in my life. These are a few examples on how is this belief manifesting itself in my life:

• I care about what other people think of me.
• I am afraid to express myself.
• I hate speaking in public.
• I feel guilty when I make a mistake.
• I am afraid to talk to other people because I fear rejection.
• I have no close friends, I keep everything to myself because I am afraid of judgment.
• I do what other people expect me to do and not what I want to do.

This belief is present in pretty much all of the areas in my life. It is everywhere I go. I deal with it like 100 times per day. Today I am ready to change it. I am going to use Teal Scott’s process on changing a belief.

I have already completed the first step which is identifying the belief. Now I have to decide if this belief is beneficial or detrimental to me. This belief is definitely detrimental. It is limits me in every way. I can not grow into my highest potential as long as I have this belief. It does not allow me to express myself. Because of this belief I always attract people into my life that are making me feel worthless.

Now I have to decide what would I like to believe instead. I would like to believe that I am worthy. I would like to believe that I am enough.

The next step is to determine the emotions that are holding me to the belief. There is always a hidden positive intention behind any belief. If we did not believe that it is in some way, shape or form serving us, it would make no sense to have such a belief. When I am being really honest with myself, I found out, that when I believe that I am worthless I get pity from other people. That pity feels like people care about me. When I think thoughts like “I am not good enough”, I give up the responsibility of having to try something new. I give up the responsibility over my own life and my own decisions. I have to decide if the emotional pay off is worth keeping the emotion or not. To me it is not worth it. I would rather know and express my true worth and people will naturally care about me. I am ready to take the responsibility for my life and try new things.

Now I will seek out alternative evidence and alternative explanations which undermine the validity of my belief “I am worthless”: For years I took my mothers words and actions as a proof that I am worthless. But when I was little and made decisions that were embarrassing to my mother, she was the one who felt worthless. She then yelled at me and expressed her anger, because I made her feel worthless. I simply adopted her own belief.

I had no friends growing up. This one can be easily explained. When I felt like I was not good enough, other kids felt that rejection and that fear that was present within me and they did not bother to talk to me. They were simply reflecting to me my own rejection of self. I know I have the belief that I am worthless for many years now. I am aware of the fact that I can change it. And yet, after all these years, the belief is still here. It means I failed in changing my belief ans that means I am worthless. The reason behind why this belief is still here is because I am invalidating it. I reject it. I say it has no positive meaning, I resist it. And what you resist persists. It does not mean I am worthless.

What I will do now is that I look for evidence and proof to back up the beneficial belief I would rather believe. I ask myself this question: How am I good enough?

• I have had successes.
• I successfully completed high school.
• I am now a collage student.
• I have people in my life who love me for who I am and appreciate me.
• I have worth which is inate.
• Unconditional love is what I was created from.
• When All That Is created me, it obviously thought I deserved to exist.
• Therefore I must be equal to every other creation, otherwise I would not have been created.

As the next step I am going to be using affirmations that I do believe. I begin to tell myself things like this on a daily basis: I value myself because I care. I am an interesting person. I know many things that could help other people. I am smart and loving…

The last step is taking some time for my reality to change itself. I can not expect myself to be completely self loving at this moment. When I spent 15 years of my life hating myself, it would be cruel to expect from myself to completely change it in a second. I also can not resist hating myself anymore. Because what we resist persists. My reality will surely change if I allow it to change.

Relationships as mirrors

I have realized that all my life I have been looking at other people in a very selfish way. I was not interested in them, I was not listening what they had to tell me. I was only paying attention to my own problems and to my own insecurities.

When I interacted with people, I did not see them as equals. I always seen myself as something less than them. I have always been afraid of their judgement. I was afraid to express myself. I thought that when other people are judging me in a negative way it must mean that I am worthless. I believed I was worthless so much that I have never shared my opinions and things I was excited about with anyone. I kept everything to myself.

Today I have realized that this kind of behaviour is completely illogical.

I know that I am a part of All that is, a part of infinite creation. I know that the truth of existence is oneness. The one is all and all is one.

Our lifes are nothing but mirrors. They reflect to us our own vibrations. Just as we look in a glass mirror, we understand that the person we see is not actually in the mirror. All the light is reflected back to us, that’s how we see the reflection. That means the mirror contains nothing. Physical reality is exactly that way. There is nothing out there. It’s all reflected back. It’s all us.

So when other people look at me, they do not see me as I really am. They see the version of myself they have created. They see me as the reflection of their own selves.

So anything that anyone says about me has nothing to do with me. Only I decide who I am. Other people can not define me. Because my reality is a reflection of my own belief systems. What I see in other people are the qualities which I contain.

I think that the most beautiful and beneficial way on how to look at other people is to look at them as the reflection of our own selves. We have to understand that we are all part of the same creation. We are all one consciousness expressing itself subjectively. We are all mirrors and teachers for each other.

The way we most benefit from relationships is when we realize that what we hate/love about the other person is what we hate/love about ourselves. It gives us the opportunity to integrate all the parts of our identity that are out of alignment with our true selves. Thanks to the sacred mirror which all relationships are we can easily recognize what we resist within our beings.

Every person has something to teach us. Everyone is a storyteller. Everyone has a unique perspective, a unique experience. When we look at people in this way, we stop being so selfish. We now listen to their stories with genuine interest and learn the lessons we have to learn. We can also help them in this way. Because when we let go of all the insecurities and all the resistance within ourselves, we see people in the way they truly are. We hold the perspective of the source. We are unconditionally loving. And unconditional love is the cure to all our problems.

My story

Today I’m going to tell you my story.

I was an extremely shy kid. I was afraid to express myself. I kept everything to myself. I showed a passive attitude towards everything. I had absolutely no friends. Everyone thought that something was wrong with me. Teachers told my mother to bring me to a therapist because I didn’t behave like other kids.

I don’t know why I behaved like this since such an early age. But I know it wasn’t natural to me. I wasn’t happy as a child. I lived in constant fear of rejection. I was afraid to talk to anyone because I thought I wasn’t worthy of their time. I thought I don’t deserve anything. The belief that something is wrong with me was so very present within my being even at the age of 3. And because I believed it so strongly, my outside reality couldn’t do anything else but to reflect to me my own feelings of rejection. Everyone was telling me I wasn’t alright. For me it was a confirmation that I was born unworthy and suffering is all that I deserved.

I have to ask myself how did I even started to think I was unworthy at the age of 3? How did I come to believe such a thing? I think it was based on how I interpreted things that were going on around me. When I was 2.5 years old, my brother was born. Suddenly all the attention turned to him. Until then I was used to get all of the attention. I used to talk a lot, I was a loud and cheerful. But when he was born, everyone seemed to care about him. I felt rejected. I felt like I have done something wrong. I started feeling unworthy. Now I know my parents still loved me, they just didn’t have time to care about me all the time. But when I was little I didn’t understand that and I interpreted it in my own way.

The belief of being unworthy grew even stronger when I was in elementary school. I still had no friend, all the kids made fun of me. Teachers didn’t like me because I was always quiet and I didn’t seem to be very smart. The worst year for me was in 4th grade. My family moved to a different city and I had to visit different school. Since day one all my classmates hated me and made fun of me. I was being bullied in school every day. Life became hell for me. When I came home from school I didn’t feel the support from my family. I never told them about anything that I was experiencing. It’s like I lived in a shell, I created my own world. In my mind I wasn’t worthy of anything and I believed that everything  that was happening to me I deserved completely.

After one year I left that school and went to gymnasium. Everyone was surprised that I passed the entrance exams including my family, because they thought I wasn’t especially smart. I thought that maybe I will find some friends in the new school. But unfortunately I wasn’t popular there at all. No one wanted to be my friend and kids were laughing at me. I was disappointed, but it only convinced me that I am less then the others.

I few years went by like this. Then I started exploring spirituality and I started reading motivational and self help literature. I learned that I am the creator of my own reality and that I’m unconditionally loved. Of course I didn’t understand it fully in just one day. You don’t go from the vibration of total powerlessness to total self acceptance so easily. Healing happens in layers. It took me years to integrate it into my life. That is when life started to get better for me. I was no longer in such a victim mentality so I attracted myself a few friends. We were all the outsiders in school and the weirdos but that is what brought us together. I created a blog 5 years ago where I started to write about my experiences and opinions. Thanks to internet a get to know many interesting people. For the first time in my life I felt like I belong somewhere and I’m not alone in this.

Since then my life is getting better and better. I can tell that I’m a completely different person. I’m much closer to my true self. I know I’m not quite there yet but I’m on a right track. And I enjoy this ride we call life. Now I know that all of my childhood experience was a part of the plan. I think that one of the primary intentions I had for this life before I even manifested in this physical body was to know my true worth. And how would I know what being worthy is if I didn’t experience the feeling of being unworthy? With my childhood I have created for myself the perfect contrast for everything I needed to learn. Now when I have gone through feelings of total powerlessness and victim mentality and healed myself, I can use my knowledge to help others find their true self and reach their highest potential. An there is nothing I would love to do more than this! 🙂

Gratitude – the key to a happy life

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.” Melody Beattie

Often times we get so busy with chasing after the things we want, after the things that are somewhere out there, that we forget to enjoy the present moment, we forget to be happy. You hear people all the time saying: Oh, I will be happy when I will get this and that, when I will get there, when I will do this and that… and when those things do happen, they go on to planning the next thing and the next thing and forget to enjoy the things they achieved so far, the things they longed for. By doing so people also forget to enjoy what they already have, they forget to be happy. Don’t let that be you.

“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” Oprah Winfrey

Realize that now, in this moment you have more than enough. It’s okay to have dreams, it’s okay to aspire to grow, to learn, to evolve and to achieve big things but it’s also important to celebrate yourself, to celebrate your accomplishments, to celebrate the present moment and to celebrate your life. With gratitude comes happiness and with happiness comes gratitude…

Here is a really beautiful gratitude poem which I’m sure you would love.

Be Thankful

“Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire,

If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don’t know something

For it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times.

During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations

Because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge

Because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes

They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you’re tired and weary

Because it means you’ve made a difference.

It is easy to be thankful for the good things.

A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are

also thankful for the setbacks.

If you love life, life will love you back

Today I’ve had a wonderful moment. I have realised that life is never against us. It always supports us in every way.

It may not seem so but fundamentally it is true. We often think that life hates us. We think so when we don’t feel happy, when we feel unloved and when everything seems to be going wrong.

But when things are falling apart, they may actually be falling into place. Things fall apart so things can fall together.

Life always supports us in every single way. It even supports us so much that it lets us believe that it doesn’t. What I mean by this is that life always reflects to us our own beliefs.

One incredible attribute of the universe, which I have discovered, is the law of attraction.  Our thoughts and feelings materialize into things, people, situations, and events in our life.  That’s why it’s important for us to find ourselves thinking positively.  Success attracts success, and misery breeds failure.  We attract people like ourselves.  When we wake up grateful for the wonderful things in our lives, they tend to stay in our lives.  When we are excited and engaged in our work, work is exciting and engaging.  Love life.  It will love you back.

When we truly know this, we find that there is no need to be afraid. Life is not unfair, life will never betray us. It will always work as a loving mirror.

Life is waiting for us to open up to it—to feel worthy of the good it holds for us. The wisdom and intelligence of the Universe is ours to use. Life is here to support us.

Infinite possibilities

Dear friends!

I’m thinking about life and I have come to realise how many possibilities we have. I never really saw it in my past. I kind of thougtht that our live decisions are limited by our financial resources, by our family background, by our abilities… But as I am growing up, I am realising what limitless beings we actually are.

We are not limited by our lack of money, what other people think, by our appearance… We are not limited by anything! The only thing that stands in our way between us and our dreams is our selves. Nothing else. It’s just us.

With our beliefs we create our lifes. This has become so much clearer to me. I first stumbled accross the teachings of „mind creates reality“ 5 years ago. I used to doubt it’s authenticity at the beginning but not anymore. It has actually become so clear to me that I have to wonder how could we miss it and don’t realise that we are the creators of our live experience. But it is possible. Our society is a living proof of that. We have forgotten our true nature of eternal creators and we have given our power away. By doing this we have created the illusion that live happens to us and not through us. Suddenly this world becomes a very dark and unpleasent place to live in. There are so many outside forces that can affect our lifes and change them in the blink of an eye. We have no control over nature disasters, economic crisis, ilnesses, accidents… Our lives become nothing more than fights for our survival. Fear becomes the dominant emotion we feel. And since we feel it all the time we don’t even realise that it could be different.

But there is a different way. It’s not even as hard as we think. The truth is that we do create our realities. That is what our governments won’t tell us because they want us to be unawere of our own power to make it possible to control us.  If we truly knew our power it would be impossible to control us.

The most powerful force that we have is our free will. Our future is not predestined. It is nowhere written how our lifes are going to play out. It is completely and utterly in our hands. From this moment we all contain infinite potentials for our future. We could become anything we want!

Today I was inspired by a story of one young women. At age 18, she headed for the South Pacific Islands to start her trip around the world. Several months later, she traveled to a remote village in Nepal, where she felt a deep sense of belonging – a sense of home. Distressed by seeing so many working children, many of them orphans, she decided to sponsor the education of one child. Soon, one became five, then ten, and she very quickly realized that she wanted to build a home where these children could live. In five years, this 23 year old has built a home for 30 children, as well as a primary school for 230 children.

What I find so inspiring about this story is that all the time she was following what her heart was telling her. She was not listening to all of the voices that kept on telling her that it’s impossible. She just acted on her highest excitement and life supported her in every way. Suddenly she became to recieve donations from people that made it possible to build a house for the children. It is a great example of what happens when you follow your dreams. The whole universe conspires to make it happen.

After reading this story I realised that I lack that passion and excitement in my life. I felt this urge to do something exciting that would make me feel significant and in service for the people of the world. I have started to think about how I can make this world a brighter place. And I have come to the realisation that one of the things that I love the most is to inspire people. So I have decided to start/continue this blog. I will post here things that inspire me every day. It can be anything from deep reflexions about the nature of reality to simple quotes. And I won’t make it my responsibility, I will make it my joy. I really want to share my life and my point of view with you guys so I’m really looking forward to this!

I love you and I’ll talk to you soon!:)

(And please excuse me my mistakes – English is not my mother language, I’m still learning:)

Embrace your sensitivities for they are a gift!

Dear beautiful soul. Embrace your sensitivities for they are a gift! In a world where most seem apathetic and shut off from their emotional centers, it can be a challenge to accept your sensitive self when those around you are telling you to get with the program, toughen up and numb yourself down. Having sensitivity, empathy and compassion is a gift dear friend, they are there to serve you and your growth… please welcome your gift with open arms and feel the radiant love within your heart flooding through your entire being as you do so. If you need to cry, it is ok, if you need to laugh it is ok, if you need to feel things it is ok. You can be a highly sensitive being and still master your emotions, and mind when you embrace them as being a part of who you are, integrating them rather than suppressing them. As you feel all your emotions, they can be transmuted into LOVE.

In these great times of change on earth you are going to feel things as they come up to the surface with even greater strength than ever before. You have the abilty to work consciously with anything that arises in a way that serves you and the whole. Please understand that your sensitivity are beautiful and they will help to intuitively guide you to know the truth in all situations, people and anything that is surrounding you or within you. Please open yourself up to trusting these inner feelings as true inner guidance. To work with your natural abilities, please spend some time alone out in nature, connecting inwards with all that you feel and avoid harsh chemicals, which can hinder this natural process coming into full fruition. You will find that all will come to you quite naturally when you give yourself the chance. It is safe for you to feel very deep emotions and be sensitive, knowing that you are surrounded and nurtured by very powerful and loving beings as well as your Higher Self. If for any reason you encounter someone who does not understand your own or their own sensitivities, please send love to that person; the love you send outwards will dissolve all fear that is at the heart of any problem. You are honored and you and are being assisted right now in this beautiful awakening and transitioning process.

The Essence of Compassion and Our Journey on Earth

Compassion is really one of the most beautiful qualities we humans can have on earth. The understanding of our true inner-connectedness with All-That-Is, coming from a place of unconditional love, empathy and acceptance for all beings no matter what is going on. Compassion is the ability to see beyond just the surface, the ego and any illusions so we may understand the pain, the healing and the love we are all experiencing as we grow higher. Through compassion, we understand that all is happening to teach us so much about who and what we are.

Compassion is quite different to sympathy; in sympathy we see ourselves and others as a ‘victim’ of life and we bring our energy down to match those we feel sorry for, whether that be ourselves or another being. In compassion we see each other as beautiful, powerful beings within unique growth cycles. We see our true essence and that we are able to grow through our earth lessons we chose to experience. We do not take away the life lessons, but rather empower each other to go within and grow through whatever it is that needs to be learned with love and care. We see the heart, soul and true self within all beings, beyond the level of lesson. This will take a giant step out of just mind thinking and a quantum leap into heart-space feeling, where we experience unconditional love and oneness with all life.

We are all here learning, growing, evolving together on our own unique path, and when we walk together with our hearts open and resonating with unconditional love and compassion, we create a space where so much unlimited and pure love frequency can lift the density of the earth plane into higher gear. There is true power within LOVE and sending it outwards from the heart will raise the vibration of earth and beyond! The vibration of love will dissolve so much negativity we may be concerned about within the world. LOVE is always the key that can and will dissolve fear and illusion. Make the conscious choice to let go of all that old discord ‘stuff’ from your life and CHOOSE to consciously bring in the NEW energies of LOVE, LIGHT, PEACE, JOY and COMPASSION!

Live your life to the full; it is too short to waste!!

My life, my world and my thoughts!

I was just thinking today how lucky we are as human-beings to have such an intelligent prospective on life.

The universe is absolutely gigantic and out of all the matter and whatnot that is out there  in this huge darkness of what we call the universe; I so happen to be a human.  It just goes to show how valuable life is, we should cherish and enjoy it – we are a true wonder of the universe, we know of no other life and to be intelligent as we are is just amazing.

I often wonder if other life is out there and ask one of the most fundamental questions of all: “Are we alone?” – I don’t think we are, I reckon there is life out there.  It might not be intelligent life-form like ourselves; it could just be micro-organisms.  Even if we did find some sort of organism…

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