Archive | July 2014

Do bad people exist?

People often tell me that I’m a good person. I have to wonder why are they saying that. It’s not like I don’t believe that I am a good person. I genuinely believe that I am. But the way other people usually say that is that I am a good person and the others aren’t. I disagree with such a statement. In my eyes all humans are the same.

In my life I have never met a human being that would be essentially “bad”. Yes, we have many criminals, many people, that cause harm to other people… But what people usually fail to see is that only suffering creates suffering. To me our justice system is completely ridiculous. So we have a person that is suffering, that is depressed, feels unloved and unhappy. This person then does something that is considered to be a criminal act. And what do we do with that person? We close this person in a room with people similar to him, deny him freedom and tell him what an awful human being he is and that he should be ashamed. Do we really think this is going to solve the problem? It will never work because our system of reward and punishment is not in alignment with universal truth.

People seem to enjoy revenge.  They call revenge justice so they can feel better about wanting it.  But the truth is, pain begets pain. There is no justice in this system.  Even if you locked away every abuser you could find on earth in a jail cell, you could not save people from their own creations. Victims are not exempt from this creation process. They too create their reality.  We live in a society that does not yet recognize the vibrational reality that directs and dictates and trumps everything that is physical in nature, so no one wants to hear this…  But locking up the perpetrators does nothing to improve the powerless state of those who sit in a vibration of victimhood.  It changes nothing about them at all.  And so they remain a match to what comes as a result of that vibration.  They will be victimized by something no matter how hard you try on a physical level to prevent it for them. You could not physically do enough to save them from their own point of attraction. The only answer is to empower the victim so their point of attraction changes, and empower the perpetrator, so their desire to hurt others wanes.  All pain on both sides (victim and perpetrator) is a result of the perception that they are powerless.

So In my opinions all humans are essentially good. We are beings of light and powerful creators. We have so much freedom and power over our reality that we can actually believe that we are powerless!

I often wonder what makes other people think that I’m a good person. So I’ve made a list of reasons that are usually considered as traits that a good person would have:

  • kindness
  • compassion
  • selflessness
  • honesty
  • love
  • personal warmth
  • openness, authenticity
  • wisdom

When I look in the eyes of a little baby, I see god in expression. Every child has all these good qualities I just listed above. Children are not born with fear, anger or hatred. They only learn these things while living in this society. So what it is that turns people into “bad” people? And what makes a human being “bad”?

  • cruelty
  • hate
  • criminality
  • rudeness
  • killing other beings

People with these threads are usually considered bad in our society. But what our society fails to see it that the only motivation why human being on the face of this earth ever does is because they believe it will make them feel better. This is the motivation behind every single action we take. When a person kills another person, it’s because they believe that it will make them feel better. Criminals are people who feel so powerless that they need to take a life of another being in order to feel like they have some power.

We fail to see this in our society. We somehow think that people are naturally devided into good and bad. Even when we are little kids, fairytales thought us that bad people need to be killed or punished. Somehow they were born flawed and we need to get rid of them in order to live in a peaceful society.

If the belief that I am not good enough is something that makes a human being bad, then I used to be a bad person as well. For many years I believed I was completely worthless.

Every person contains the “good” and the “bad”. We can choose to express our true side and shine our light, or we can choose to resist our true selfes and become dark. All of us have the potential to be criminals and to kill. Even I have it. I could be cruel, I could choose to be cold and rude. The reason why I’m not like this is because I don’t choose to. I know I can, but I don’t want to. My passion and excitement is to be kind, to help people and to reflect to them how beautiful they are. But this doesn’t make me any better than anyone else.

At the very core every human being is wonderful. What we all have in common is that we want to be loved. Sometimes we don’t know how to get this love so we hurt others. But that doesn’t make us bad from the perspective of the source. 

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Happiest songs of all time

Here’s an epic selection of songs that make me feel good  — let me know if you have any to add!

1. Feel Good – James Brown  – The title says it all. It’s hard not to feel good after hearing James Brown telling you how it is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DuDeBcpLITQ

2. I can see clearly now – Jimmy Cliff – One of the happiest songs I’ve ever heard. It describes the feeling when you realize that all the bad things happened for a reason and you can see clearly now that life is amazing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jsw_r0hILQ

3. Pharrell Williams – Happy – This song always makes me happy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6Sxv-sUYtM

4. Colbie Caillat – Brighter Than The Sun – Very optimistic song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KU5o6M7S5nQ&list=PLcIeVnTzPJCGZdhQOd45gl9lcx6vUpo1Q

5. It’s a Beautiful Day – No matter how bad your day may be, there is always something beautiful happening. This song reminds us that every day is a beautiful day by itself :D .

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=it’s%20a%20beautiful%20day%20&sm=1

6. Walking On Sunshine – Quite possibly the happiest song ever! :mrgreen: The upbeat tunes of the song brings a smile to anyone just by listening to it. :D Make sure to dance along as you listen to the song!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPUmE-tne5U

7. What a Wonderful World – This beautiful song reminds us to appreciate the beauty of everyday life. There’s just something about pausing for a moment to reflect on the beauty of nature and the universal goodness of the human spirit to have a more positive, refreshed attitude. Everything in life is a miracle. Let’s appreciate and give gratitude to all these things we have with us today :D .

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5TwT69i1lU&list=PLcIeVnTzPJCGZdhQOd45gl9lcx6vUpo1Q

8. Always Look on the Bright Side of Life – Monty Python – No matter in which circumstance you find yourself in, focus on the positives.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHPOzQzk9Qo

9. Good Life – One Republic 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZhQOvvV45w&index=17&list=PLcIeVnTzPJCGZdhQOd45gl9lcx6vUpo1Q

10. Feeling Good – Muse – Need to feel good? Listen to this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzGzGvlKZn4&list=PLcIeVnTzPJCGZdhQOd45gl9lcx6vUpo1Q

11. Bobby McFerrin – Don’t worry Be happy – This song makes me smile every time I listen it. Great voice, great song, great melody.. It’s just perfect!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yv-Fk1PwVeU&list=PLcIeVnTzPJCGZdhQOd45gl9lcx6vUpo1Q

 12. Think good thoughts – Colbie Caillat 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbG4vmibLo8

Perfection

Today I have realized that everything is perfect. Everything exists in perfect order. Nothing needs to be improved or changed in any way. It is all wonderful just as it is.

It is only the mind that sees imperfection. The desire to control and separate, to manipulate and change. These are the workings of egos grasping. There is no shame in this. It is just a natural expression of minds understanding.

When we can remove ourselves from this ego mind fixation, expanding our consciousness, moving beyond limitation, lack and fear, we are once again at home. We are reconnected with the joy that we are. We see that everything flows in perfect alignment. We understand that our lives are made of beautiful synchronicities. Everything that ever happens is for our highest good and for our personal expansion. Everything serves a purpose.

To quote Albert Einstein: “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”

You can choose to see your life as a miracle right now. You are perfect just as you are in this very moment. Nothing needs to change about you and your life. You are loved and appreciated by all of creation.

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How to gain Confidence

I’m passionate about the topic of confidence and there are so many different aspects to it and so many different levels.

The first point to look at is around your focus. If you feel that you are lacking in confidence, my guess would be that your focus is on what you can’t do, where you failed, and how you feel that you’ve got things wrong. What would happen if you changed your focus? What would happen if you shifted your perspective from where it was into a new one, which you maybe have to your imagination with, but what if you focused in on what you have achieved, things that you have been successful in, and things that you have done? So for example, what if you started to think about all that you’ve achieved in your life from learning to talk, learning to walk, learning to pass an exam, swim, ride a bike, drive a car? The list I am sure is endless of all the things that you really have done. What would happen and how do you think you would feel if that was your focus on a daily basis?

The second aspect to look at is around your language. How are you actually talking to yourself both internally and externally because that’s a real key indicator of how you feel about yourself? If you want to grow your confidence then if you make a mistake and then you’re telling yourself what an idiot you are or how stupid you are.., then really is that going to inspire confidence in you to have another go or even have an attempt at something new? Look at how you’re speaking to yourself, language is so important. Start to use kind language, give yourself a break, and actually be nice to yourself.

Would you really speak to a best friend or a family member or even a child the way you speak to yourself currently? Yet you would probably want them to have confidence in themselves so because you want them to have confidence, you speak kindly to them.

How about if you turn that around and started speaking kindly to yourself? I know the difference that it’s made in my life and I’m sure that if you started to put that into practice you’ll gain even more confidence in yourself, which again is what you want to do, is it not?

My final thing for you to think about is rather than thinking about what’s gone wrong and thinking about the mistakes that you’ve made, think about the lessons that you’ve learnt. Every single day we’ll trip up, fall over, say the incorrect thing, and get something wrong. All of those things are there to help us learn so instead of focusing on getting it wrong and being a bad person, why not stop and at the end of the day ask yourself what have I learnt today? What have I have learnt today, and not only that, how can I use that information in the future? I know that when you learnt to walk as a child you would have fallen over at some point yet you didn’t sit there and stop. What you did is you decided to learn and use the information from falling over to get back up again and have another go, and you use that information to inform your next step. So at the end of every day, take a moment to think about how you can use the information from that day, those lessons, to help you in the future.

How big is our planet? Mind blowing comparison!

We are aware that our universe is beyond enormous in size but truly we do not know how big it really is.

We know that the earth is nothing but a speck of a rock in comparison to the rest of the universe, a particle of dust floating in a huge sky.

So, I was thinking about size and the universe and I was wondering….
Imagine there was life on more earth like planets, not just in our galaxy but in other galaxies.

Could there be life out there that are like giants compared to humans – due to the environment and size of the sun, planets etc? What if there are galaxies with huge stars, huge planet and moon with life? Would this life also develop to be a huge species that would make us look tiny?

What about if there are stars a lot smaller than ours out there? Could there be species that are tiny?
After all, in the scheme of things – we are tiny, and look how small life can get, all you need to do it look through a microscope and you can see life, compare bacteria to the mass of the universe and it is a truly amazing thing that so much can being happening in such a small minute way.

If our earth is abundant with life, even though we are a mere speck in a massive universe, could there be places where life could be even smaller or bigger in comparison to our own environment?

If we compare Earth’s size with that of some of the most important celestial bodies we have discovered so far, it makes most of us think that we’re nothing but ants swarming around in our little ant nest.

To show you that, let’s look at the size of our Earth compared to that of some of the most famous planets and stars that we know of:


Image

How to give up victim mentality

At some point in life, everyone has had to do something against their will. Everyone has experienced a difficult time when he felt humiliated or betrayed in some way. Many of us have experienced the loss of a loved one, or even of our own health. Some of us have been victims of violence – at home, in school, or in life…
But while some manage to cope with pain, self-pity, anger and guilt, others come to see themselves as a victim. The victim mentality is formed not only as a result of sustained violence or humiliation, but also by the environment. Often people do not recognize and do not even realize that they are acting the victim.
What is the victim mentality?
Seeing yourself as a victim does not necessarily mean that you have been subjected to physical or psychological abuse. A victim is a person, who believes that something or someone is externally controlling his life. Victims see themselves as impotent, believe that external factors control their life, and see life as a wall of insurmountable circumstances.
They feel compelled to do things against their will. They might complain, but they will still do what they do not want to do, thinking that there is no alternative. It seems like that the whole world is against them. Victims always feel dependent on the mercy of external forces and blame them for everything that happens in their world.
The victim mentality can be seen in all areas of our lives:
Relationships: When victims are led to give up their priorities, aspirations, dreams and desires, they lose self-esteem and self-confidence and give up power. Imagine, for example, a man, who gave up the job of his dreams to please his loved ones. He will feel internal resentment that this happened, and anger at a perceived lack of appreciation and gratitude. Even if he feels offended, humiliated or unappreciated in the relationship, rather than take control of his own life, he will instead complain about how he has been treated. In this way, he assumes the role of a victim.
Everyday life: Even in the most minor situations, some people manage to make themselves a victim of circumstance. For example, you might ask a colleague for a small favor – say, getting you a cup of coffee. He might complain terribly, saying that people are freeloaders and lazy and live off of others and so on… In the end he will do you the favor but continue to complain internally about the “injustice.”
But the reality of the situation is this – he has been asked for a favor, and he has to make a choice. He could say – “I’m sorry, I’m not passing by the coffee machine;” he could say he is too busy or he could even say that he forgot. There are many ways to respond. In this case, however, he chooses to feed the feelings of self-sacrifice – “I’m so pitiful, people are always taking advantage of me… ” – This is a victim mentality.
The person with a victim mentality has a habit of complaining about everything – for example, he/she always has to cook, he/she is forced to work for that terrible boss, traffic is always awful… These complaints are hiding something – that he/she waits and hopes for someone else to fix things. The person doesn’t realize that it was all the result of their own choices.
Often, people with a victim mentality will not say anything directly to the friend, who manipulates them or to the boss, who insults and humiliates them. Instead, they go to someone else to complain and to vent their anger with dramatic tales about their rude and arrogant boss, or their selfish and ungrateful friend. People, who see themselves as a victim of circumstance are always complaining and whining. Rather than taking political action, they vilify political leaders and blame them for the problems in society.
Victims are constantly asking WHY: “Why me? Why are people are so evil? Why won’t the boss give me a raise? Why did he/she leave me?” As they look for answers to these questions, they torment themselves and their resulting self-pity only reinforces their identity as a victim. The question they should ask themselves is: ” Why did this happen now? What can I learn from this situation? How can I avoid this in the future?”
How can you give the victim mentality?
First, it is important to understand why we take on this mindset – what benefits does it bring?
The victim mentality brings :
Attention – when we are in the victim position, we get attention, sympathy and support from people.
When we are a victim, there is no need to take risks or responsibility.
Being a victim gives us an excuse to explain our life circumstances. It is an excuse for the fact that we have not achieved anything. We continue thinking that other people have held us back, they haven’t seen our potential, etc.!
Sometimes being a victim makes you feel part of a community. This community grows out of the very sense that they – the others – are ” bad” and you’re on the “good ” side. Your anger about the injustice of their speeches gives a dramatic and even heroic sense to your suffering.
“Poor Me” gives you a sense identity (albeit false). It makes you feel special. This gives you a passive power that calls people to give you attention and pity.
To be able to part with your victim mentality, you must give up the benefits that it brings.
You should also know that creating a new pattern of thinking and behavior takes time, effort and discomfort. Furthermore, when you first begin to change, you may feel unstable, insecure and vulnerable…
But you have to go through this period if you are to regain power and change your life!
Are you ready to give up the victim mentality and live with confidence?
If the answer is “yes,” you can start taking the first steps now:
1. Release the pain of the past.
To overcome your victim mentality, you must release the pain of all those past experiences, buried deep inside. You need to release negative feelings – fear, guilt, hate, anger, self-pity – because they keep you in captivity and reassert your identity as a victim. Forgive those who have hurt you. As I have written elsewhere, forgiveness does not mean justifying the actions of others. It is a purely internal act of letting go of painful feelings. Only when you forgive will you be free.
2. Take responsibility for your life.
The main thing you need to do to regain power is to take responsibility for your life – for the feelings, thoughts, and reactions you choose to experience. Realize that the complaining, unhappiness, and blaming does not solve your problems. Think about what you personally can do and take action.
3. Remember that you always have a choice – we can always, in every situation, choose how to react. At any moment we can regain power by making the right choice.
4. Change your vocabulary.
Change the words in your vocabulary that make you feel like a victim. For example, instead of ” should,” think ” choose to;” instead of “I hope,” say “I will;” instead of “There’s no way out,” think “I know there’s a way and I will find it;” instead of ” I can’t” say “I will try.”
5. Learn to say “no.”
People who have a victim mentality, often have difficulty saying “no.”
6. Change your attitude.
Change the focus – from what you don’t have or what makes you feel wronged – to what you do have and your strengths. Keep a notebook, listing everything good in your life and practice being grateful about it.
7. Taking small steps outside of your comfort zone.
Begin with just one small step outside your comfort zone, and you will begin to change from a victim into a confident and self-respecting person.
The floor is yours – are you ready to gain more awareness as to when you are slipping into the ‘victim mentality’? What do you usually do when you catch yourself doing it? How do you take responsibility for your own creation? You can share your insights by joining the conversation in the comment section below :)