Archive | May 2014

Humility and Being Humble – Teal Swan

This has to be one of my favorite Teal videos yet. So many have been led to believe that humility is good, healthy, and brings them closer to God. I, on the other hand, knew this wasn’t accurate (I’m indivisible from God) but I could never put it to words as she so insightfully does.

I have been humble all my life. I used to allow others to take advantage of me in home and in school by staying humble while others received everything and I didn’t. I HAVE GAINED NOTHING BY DOING IT!

All of my life everyone thought that the best thing about me is that I’m humble. You could ask anyone who knows me what is my most lovable personality trait and they would say that it’s my humility. All teachers in school praised me for my humility and used me as an example of a good person. Mankind truly is obsessed with humility and sees it as one of the highest human virtues.

But the truth is that deep down I wasn’t happy. The fact that I was humble was caused by my extremely low self esteem and feeling of insignificance. I used to believe that I was worse than everyone else, that I’m not good enough and that I’m predestined for a life full of suffering. There is nothing admirable in humility.

We should give up on humility. It doesn’t serve anyone. It causes us to live half of the life we came here to live. It goes against our true nature.

So here is my list of things in which I’m good at:
I am great at recreating myself, losing myself and putting the pieces back together again.
I am a very supportive, kind person.
I am great at making the best out of any situation.
I’m great at thinking complex stuff, I get the whole picture very easily
I’m a gifted writer.
I excellent at finding the perfect gift for people.
I’m great with children, I love to play with them and accompany them on their journey.
I’m a compassionate listener
I am good at admitting my own downfalls
I am good in being grateful for Teal.

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What It’s Like to be an INFJ (in GIFs)

Sorry for the INFJ posts spam lately :D. I know I’m obsessed with personality types and MBTI. It’s just how I am. When I’m interested in something I have to make the deepest research until I’m an expert in the field.

I had to make this explanation of what it’s like to be an INFJ in gifs. I think it’s accurate:


Sometimes it’s a miracle that any words come out of our mouths at all. So. Hard. To. Articulate. INFJ thoughts are complex and abstract. You have no idea. The internal frustration…

We read people like books, and have to constantly act as though the things they reveal about themselves are shocking to us. Really, our intuition probably picked up on it before you did.

We predict things and watch them come together. We take bets with ourselves. Always being right about people is nice.

Even though we encourage you to share your heart with us as we will love you no matter what you tell us, on the inside we are judging you at the same time. We are INFJs after all.

Small talk kills us on the inside. Sometimes we’ll endure it if we think you have intellectual or emotional potential, but chances are we’re mentally elsewhere entirely. We don’t get enough credit for our complex auto-pilot responses that are seemingly so genuine!

We are too comfortable being by ourselves. Knowing we’re going to be home alone is a rush of ecstasy.

You like parties? Sure, but we get our thrill from books.

The panic before an unavoidable social situation, even though you’ve known about it for months.

We don’t like telling our deepest, darkest secrets to our friends – yet somehow our online friends make an exception.

We have all sorts of strange beliefs that our friends think are weird.

When we’re in a public place with a really clever book that we love, and people praise us for being so intelligent and complex. Oh, this old Proust novel is just some light reading 😉

When we try to explain something deep to someone and they act like we’re some kind of alien. Really, it is simple if you could try to be open-minded for just one second, uh.

 Finding that one person who just understands us, and we don’t have to try hard to communicate because they just already know.

People are often put off by our odd sense of humour – except those couple who think we are the most hilarious creatures ever, and they say “where did you even come up with that?”

People assume that we’re sweet because we’re feelers, but we’re secretly cold and evil too. We are so underestimated.

We get lost in our own minds – our sole existence is internal. In our inner worlds we are truly free.

We take comfort in remaining mysterious even to ourselves.

Ten Little Known Facts about INFJ’s.

10.  INFJs are typically better in writing than in verbal communication. If you want to know an INFJ’s true feelings, ask them to write out what they think and feel but don’t expect them to do it, especially if they don’t know you very well.

9.  INFJs can often mimic other personality types. Because they are masters at understanding people’s core personalities- becoming someone else can be very easy.

8.  An INFJ’s allegiance is no trifle. If an INFJ wants to stick by you, it means they really like you. Never violate that gift, INFJ’s can be dangerous enemies.

7.  INFJ’s are like onions. No they don’t stink, or make you cry, or get all brown if you leave them out in the sun to long. They have layers, and only a select few are ever privy to see all those layers. Do not expect to peel back their layers overnight- that can take months, even years before they trust you that much.

6.  INFJs are extremely sensitive. Make sure that criticism is handed as lightly as possible and constructively. At the same time if they respect you they will want to please you and prove to you they can take that criticism and become better, although many times it might take them time to work through the hurt of your words to come to that realization.

5.  INFJs love helping people. If you’re bad at accepting help (yes, accepting help is a skill), then get ready to have problems. To reject an INFJ’s help is to reject their love, and one of the things they hold nearest to their hearts.

4.  They can be extremely stubborn once they believe they are right, especially if it has to do with their morals or values. However, don’t think that just because they are arguing with you, they aren’t listening- many times they will think about what you said to them for weeks and it may slowly make them more open-minded to your opinions.

3.  Your energy as a friend, partner, or family member will easily affect them. If you seem unstable, etc., it will soak into them and poison them. It has often been said that an INFJ’s partner has to be resilient, and this is generally true.

2.  An INFJ is incredibly complex, so complex they confuse even themselves. They almost always feel misunderstood and ‘hidden’. They will be offended if you pass them off as ‘simple’ or ‘average’. Getting to know an INFJ takes work, so be prepared for that. A lot of gentle enquiry is required.

1.  Last but not least, don’t lie to an INFJ! Omitting or distorting the truth is generally looked at as lying and will definitely arouse suspicion in them. INFJ’s have an intuition when it comes to stories that don’t quite fit. Tread carefully if you are hiding something from them.

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*Source of the article: modalitiesofexistence.com

My INFJ story

Hi lovely people!

It’s time for me to introduce myself. Maybe you’ve been wandering who is behind this blog. I’m going to tell you a little more about me (beware, my definition of “a little” = a novel.) So who am I?

My name is Paulina and I’m probably the most stereotypical INFJ in existence. Someone could seriously use me as a textbook example. I embody all typical INFJ traits to the highest degree. I can relate to every INFJ description I have found 100%. When I first discovered that I am an INFJ, it was almost life saving for me. I was very surprised to find the description alarmingly accurate, describing me pretty much to the point where I could think of nothing I could add to make it any more complete. For the first time in my life I felt like someone understands me.

I would like to start from the childhood. Since a very young age I knew I was different. I enjoyed solitude and I loved to play just by myself. In kindergarten I was that weird kid that was observing everyone and everything in the corner. I especially loved to paint and create stuff so you could always find me with crayons in my hands. I remember that my teachers were very concerned about me. They told my parents they should send me to a childhood psychiatrist to find out if I’m sane and not mentally ill. The doctor didn’t identify me with any mental illness and just assumed that I am very shy and introverted, but maybe it gets better as I grow up. I remember that everyone called me “Sleeping beauty” as a child.I was always typed as the girl who existed in “her own little world”. I remember feeling guilty for being weird. I hated the fact that I was different and I could’t fit in no matter how hard I tried. I avoided trouble and followed the rules to an anal degree. I believe my nickname was “saint girl” when I was younger.

Besides my obvious preference for introversion, I have always been an “old soul”. When I was 4 years old, I felt very strange in my little tiny body. I felt so much wiser and older than what I looked like. I always wanted to figure out how the universe works. The first sentence I spoke when I learned how to talk was: “What does it mean?”. 😀 I always search for meaning behind things.

One particular childhood memory stands out for me: I remember looking at my own reflection in the mirror and staring deeply into my own eyes. I felt like I could see the entire universe reflected in my eyes. I felt like I’m a part of something much greater than myself. I knew I was the creator myself, not just a waste of space in a meaningless universe. These kind of things happened to me often as a child and continue to happen now in my adulthood.

My childhood was full of feeling misunderstood, being bullied and feeling like an alien in this world. Occasionally there were good times, but mostly is ranged from mediocre to miserable, intermixed with complete hell. No one could understand me but I felt like I understand everyone. I could easily read people and their motives, intentions and feelings. It bothered me even more when I saw that no one can tell how I feel. It made me feel even more otherwordly. In my case, I think the characteristics of being an INFJ coupled with not so supportive parents caused the loneliness & isolation I experienced as a child.

My teenage years = Very few friends, a non existent social life. As a teenager I enjoyed reading. Everywhere I went I had to take a book with me. I also enjoy writing. I express myself so much better in writing than in verbal communication. I’ve spend the majority of my teenage years on the internet. I’ve created blogs and shared my ideas with other people. For the first time in my life I felt like someone understands me. I love internet so much because it contains a lot of information. I adore learning new things. When I find a subject I’m passionate about I spend hours and hours researching on the internet until I’m an expert in it.

I have to admit that since I discovered my personality type, my life is getting better and better. It’s all about self acceptance. I used to hate myself as a child and I used to think that something was wrong with me. But my self hate decreased a lot when I found out that I’m a perfectly healthy INFJ. I’m not a flawed and defected human being, I’m just very rare and original. I began to value myself and accept myself more. And as I started doing so, I noticed that other people accept me more as well. I was even able to find friends that appreciate me for who I am.

I’m also very spiritual. Not religious but spiritual. I’m deeply interested in all things metaphysical. I guess I was already born this way and when I read spiritual books, it feels like I’m remembering something I have always known very deeply.

Another thing that I love is art. I love to create mandalas and symbolic paintings.  When engrossed in creative flow, I experience myself in perfect synchrony with the universe. I’m very creative and artistic. When engrossed in a creative stint, I may paint and write for hours, occasionally even days, without rest.

Right now I’m about to attend collage and study psychology. My dream is to counsel people and help them find happiness. I love giving people advice and solving people-related problems. I feel that in order to solve the myriad humanitarian crises facing the world, we must first gain a better foothold on the fundamentals of human nature and human behavior. We need to better understand ourselves—our motives, behaviors, and personality. My greatest joy is in helping people and knowing that I’m making this world a brighter place.

Words I would choose to describe myself:

deep, complex, loving, gentle, caring, friendly, intuitive, dreamer, visionary, idealist, mystic, philosopher, supportive, understanding, helpful, authentic, individualistic, original, quiet,  spiritual, wise, compassionate, otherwordly, artistic, creative, passionate, determined, commited

Being an INFJ

Recently I have been doing  research on being an INFJ. If you dont know what INFJ means, its one of the 16 MBTI personality types. You can find a very detailed description of an INFJ here. There is also a great video that explains our personality perfectly:

And here is a video called “Pure INFJness” which is very accurate:

I even created an entire tumblr blog dedicated to INFJ personality type: http://perksofbeinginfj.tumblr.com/. I post here things which are relatable to INFJs. It is a glipse into our minds.

The information I have found during my research is definitely relatable to my own life. When I read these posts and articles I am literally reading with an intense jaw-dropped face. Every description of an INFJ personality is me in a nutshell. 

I have decided to contribute to many other posts other INFJs have written about their lives. This one is about the advantages and disadvantages of being an INFJ. Like any other personality type, it has its positives and its negatives. I definitely enjoy being an INFJ, I wouldnt change my personality type even if I could. Its not always easy to have such a rare and widely misunderstood personality, but our lives are definitely not boring.

I hope this information will be helpful for you, if youre an INFJ you will most likely be able to relate to most of the points and if youre another personality type, I hope this post will help you to understand us better. 

What I love about being an INFJ:

  • I am intensely self aware. Because I am constantly thinking, analyzing each one of my thoughts and discovering all of my motivations, I know my strengths and weaknesses. I like myself more every year because I know myself more every year and the more I get to know who I am, the more control over I have in making myself who I want to be. If I couldn’t talk and argue with myself every waking hour, I would go truly insane. I love being able to explore myself, my motivations and desires honestly. And obviously I like doing it to other people as well.
  • I love how friendly I am. I just like being nice to people. I love how I can surprise every day people with my kindness – as if it’s nothing they’ve ever seen before.
  • I love my ability to think the way I do. I like that I think analytically and I like that I think creatively.
  • I love my imagination. It’s endless.
  • I love my intuition. I rely on it more than on anything else. And it never disappoints me. Sometimes I feel like I’m psychic.
  • I love my understanding of people and being empathetic enough to truly understand and help them. Being able to see through “fake” or untruthful people and their lies. I love how I can meet someone and instantly know if this person is worth getting to know or not.
  • I can always see right through situations and most people to the core of things. I have great radar and gut instincts.
  • I love it that people are drawn to me and feel good to tell me about their deepest feelings and concerns, even though we may have just met. I love to listen to people, to guide them and help them.
  • I love my ability to listen, and not just listen… but completely absorb what others are saying.
  • I like my camouflage ability to blend in with different groups of people.
  • I like my ability to form lasting relationships and deep bonds with people.
  • I actually enjoy being a perfectionist – everything being neat and orderly is relaxing. I like my capacity to do and finish something if I put my mind to it.
  • I love my honesty. I can’t seem to be anything but honest. I simply can’t lye. Maybe sometimes I don’t tell the whole truth when I know that the other person is not prepared to hear it, but I always mean what I say.
  • I have the power to motivate anyone to strive for their goals, if they’re children, people my age, older people, whatever… I have become extremely good to debate every part of why they aren’t living their life. Being able to see the potential in others and even myself is really inspiring and when people tell me about their dreams, goals and future plans I can’t help but smile and usually get more excited than they are about it.
  • I love my own company. I like the peace I can find in being alone. Thinking back there’s literally never been a time when I’m alone where I’ve wished that someone else was with me. I hardly ever feel lonely because I live so much in my head.
  • I love my ability to express myself well through writing.
  • I love my dedication to make the world a brighter place. I love how excited I am to make a difference.

What is not so great about being an INFJ:

  • I feel everything those around me feel. This is a blessing and a curse at the same time. It’s not even empathy. I literally feel exactly what you feel. Even if you are trying to hide it or don’t express your feelings, somehow I still know. The weird part is that I don’t have to be in the physical presence of someone to feel their emotions. I can hear a news story, I can read a book, I can watch a movie. I can’t stand horror movies because of how strongly and realistically I feel the emotions of the people on the screen. I avoid the news. I block out negative stories people tell. I skip magazine articles. It’s not that I am trying to be ignorant to the pains in the world, but I physically can’t handle the excess of emotions.
  • I can’t control my facial expressions. Every emotion I feel is spread obviously across my face or it shows on my body language. It can prove to be extremely embarrassing sometimes.
  • I have no sense of how others see me. This is a paradox because I can read people very well. I tend to know who to trust or who to dodge. I can tell if someone is nervous, concerned, intimidated even if they are trying to hide it. The weird thing is that I literally have no clue if someone likes me or what they could be thinking of me at any given moment. Its very frustrating. Just imagine being able to gauge someone just by looking at them and then looking in the mirror and seeing a giant question mark. That’s what it’s like. My life’s joy and entertainment is from observing and figuring people out and the person I am supposed to know the best is the one that puzzles me most. Ah the irony.
  • I am very sensitive to negative words and criticism. I know I feel as though I have failed somehow or I am distorted if I am criticized. I have been working on trying to not take things so hard.
  • I think the things most people talk about are boring. I’m always testing people to see if I can talk to them about the things that really matter to me (usually I can’t). I’d rather have one person in my life who gets me than dozens of people who just know me. I know my friends better than they know themselves (but I can’t tell them that). I’d rather use conversation to talk to someone about their true thoughts and feelings (but this doesn’t happen at group dinners or parties, so I avoid these things).
  • I’m a perfectionist and I obsess over little things, like how the decorations in my room look or what clothes I should wear. I spend more time on projects than I let on to other people.
  • And probably the worst thing about being an INFJ is not being understood. Since we are such a rare personality type, other people cant relate to us. We are often describes as weird, complex, paradoxical, too deep… While part of me enjoys being somewhat of a puzzle that no one will ever figure out, sometimes I just wish people could just understand certain things about me. For instance, everyone thinks I am lonely because I would rather sit home and read a nice book, then go out and socialize. Everyone thinks I am depressed because I don’t walk around with a mile-wide grin on my face. There are many misunderstandings that we INFJs must face. 

Style

For me style is a way of being. That word we use to describe what makes something or someone unique. It defines the way we choose to express our individuality across all facets of life. Fashion, career, communication, cooking the list is endless.
Put simply, it is the way something–anything–is done. There are no limits to how something can be expressed, designed or presented, whether that thing is a story, a staircase or a shoe.

You can’t avoid style; it’s impossible to do something without doing it in a certain way. Every style expresses or amplifies an outlook on life, even if this outlook can’t quite be put into words. To understand a style, you have to understand something of the mood, philosophy or aesthetic tendency behind it.

So you see that style is much more than how you wear your clothes or your hair. A building, a poem, a painting, a fork, a voice, a chair, a car, a movie and a movie poster all have style.
But in this article I am going to focus on style of clothing because that is the first thing that comes to my mind when I hear the word “style”.

In a society increasingly focused upon image, where the single greatest influence on a first impression is someone’s physical appearance, does what you choose to wear define who you are? It’s most certainly true that people make assumptions about you based on what they see. From what you look like, what you choose to wear, to the sum of the little details like hair, nails, makeup and jewellery, it all contributes to how you are seen and perceived by others.

I think that there is a difference between fashion and style, however many people find it difficult to distinguish between the two.

Fashion is ever-changing. Fashion is difficult to keep up with, as it changes by the decade, the year, the season, sometimes even by the week. What is considered in fashion today could possibly be different tomorrow. There’s no sustainability in fashion, and one could go so far as to say fashion can be wasteful. Wasteful as in, a closet full of barely-used clothes, left unloved because they’re no longer fashionable. It seems the worst followers of the religion of Fashion aren’t really true to themselves; they seem to wear things or carry things or like things because these things are “in”, they’re popular, everyone else wants it.

Style, on the other hand, is personal. Style is all one’s own, and no one can say otherwise. The truly stylish man knows, understands, and respects the rules, yet knowingly defies and breaks them, bends them and interprets them as he pleases. Great style means not taking oneself or one’s garments too seriously, because to be honest, there are things in life way more important.
Style isn’t directly affected by trends. It doesn’t change with the direction of the wind, or the disapproving look of a fashion magazine’s Editor-In-Chief. Style can adopt and adapt to certain trends, and most importantly, put a unique spin on it.

It’s easy to feel the pressure to conform in today’s society – media can lead you to believe that you have to look a certain way, and this is certainly very true of the clothes that you wear. How many times have you worn items because they are fashionable or because ‘so and so celebrity’ is wearing them? When you choose to wear fashion without consideration for whether it suits your own sense of style, you’re not honoring your own style personality – it’s likely that when you do this, you won’t feel 100% comfortable with what you’re wearing. Fashion is all well and good, but only when it fits with your own style.

We are all unique individuals, so why do we all want to look the same? Don’t be afraid to dress in an ‘unconventional’ way if that’s what you like – your style is unique, just like you!
Above all, don’t be afraid to express yourself!! When you dress in a way that embraces your personality, you will feel comfortable and confident in your own skin.