Social awkwardness

Today I’m going to talk to you about a topic I myself have mastered. It’s social awkwardness.

Signs that you are socially awkward:

  • Your idea of an epic Saturday night is a night inside surfing the internet or reading.
  • You go to great lengths to avoid answering the house phone. This includes bothering someone in the shower.
  • When you enter a room full of people you’re not so familiar with, you constantly ask the earth (in your mind, of course) to open up and swallow you
  • You tell jokes you think are absolutely hilarious, but no one laughs.
  • You quickly change the subject when someone asks you ‘What did you do this weekend?’
  • You avoid eye contact.
  • You get excited/ feel proud of yourself when you have a natural conversation with a stranger.
  • Your phone has lost it’s purpose.
  • You plan conversations in your head and never say them in real life.
  • You ask your parents for a new phone and they say, ‘Why? Who’re you going to call?’
  • You don’t spend a lot of time on Facebook because you’re worried a doomed message will pop up saying ‘Hi!’
  • You see someone you know on the bus and try and hide around the corner.
  • Someone says hi to you and rather than saying hi back, you let out a nervous squeak and fast walk away.
  • When your friend talks to someone you don’t know, you stand still and don’t utter a word, reassuring yourself that it’ll all be over soon.
  • People tell you interesting  and crazy stories of their own life, you tell them interesting and crazy stories from a book you read

I love the socially awkward penguin meme. I find it hilarious maybe because I can relate to every single one. Oh god help me!

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