To decide what I want to study was very difficult for me. It is a long story that I am going to share with you today.
When I was a little child I had those crazy expectations that when I grow up I will be a famous singer, actress or a painter. But as I grew older I realized that my voice, acting abilities and painting skills are not above the average. When I was 13 I started to think realistically and I had the idea that I could be a therapist and a healer. Human behavior was always extremely fascinating to me.
But when I told my mom about it she just laughed at me and told me that I’m not that kind of person that could do that. When I was younger I was really insecure about myself, I was very shy and I had social phobia. I believed my mom that I’m not good enough to do that so I gave up that dream.
Last year I had to decide what to study. First of all I wanted to study psychology. My mom wasn’t very excited about that but I wanted to try it. But unfortunately I haven’t passed the entrance exams. So I needed a plan B. I went to study sociology because I thought it was like social work but then I realized that it’s more about politics and things that aren’t so interesting to me. It was clear to me that I need to study something different. So I have considered medicine. My parents always thought I would be a great doctor. I always wanted to help and heal people so medicine looked like a good option for me. I started preparing myself for entrance exams this year. But after a few months I have realized that this is not what I want to do in life. I had to dedicate all my time to learning, memorizing billions of stuff and I had no free time. Life has lost all it’s passion and I began to feel lost.
I felt very frustrated like I couldn’t take it any longer. I decided to do shadow work on myself. I spent many hours writing down my thoughts, analyzing them and questioning them. I have discovered lots of limiting belief systems and definitions. I stopped feeling depressed and I felt like I will discover what I want to do in life very soon.
The first thing I did after shadow work was to visit one website. On this website I found a discussion about choosing the right career. One girl was describing exactly the same career that I always wanted. I just forgot that this is what I want because I was listening to what other people thought I can do and cant rather than listening to myself. Thanks to that website, that discussion and that girl I finally found what my dream career is – I want to be a holistic healer. I want to help people to align with their true selves and to reach their highest potential. I want to work with ordinary people who feel depressed and unsatisfied in their lifes and I want to help them find happiness. I also want to heal people with alternative medicine and with helping them to change their core beliefs that are crating their illness in the first place. I think that to teach people self love and empowerment is the most important thing in today’s society.
So now I finally know what I want to do in my life:). It is very exciting! What I need to do now is to study psychology at a university.Unfortunately, it is not so easy to get accepted because so many people want to study it now days. Last year I did not get accepted for psychology studies in Austria because they only accept 500 people from 8000 applicants. I can only hope that I will go through this year. It is my dream to study there. I could live by myself without my annoying parents, I will get to know many new people and finally have a life on my own. I will also apply for psychology studies in Germany so I have a plan B if Austria would not work out. It is further away form where I live but at least I will not have to see my family too often. In Germany you do not have to do entrance exams, you get admitted by your grades. I had pretty good grades all my life so I hope that I will get accepted at least at one of those universities. My plan c is to go to study in Czech republic. Here are entrance examinations very hard but at leas I will try them. I will also apply for a university in my own country but I will only attend it when all the other options fail. And if none of these things work out for me I guess I will have to study sociology. But I hope that will not be the case. I will do anything to get accepted for the Austrian and German universities. The entrance examinations are in september 2014 so I have lots of time to prepare.
I am so happy to now have a goal in my life. It feels like I finally found myself and my purpose. I hope it will work out for me and I will get accepted, earn a bachelors and then a masters degree and eventually stat my own business. But that is many years in the future because to earn masters lasts at least 6 years.
So wish my luck on my journey towards my dream!